An Interview

Interviewer: Who are you?
Me : That is what I am trying to find out!

He: How many times you got married? How many kids?
Me: One

He: I asked you two questions, just in case you want to know..
Me: Really? One more

He: What one more?
Me: Answer to your second question is One One

He: Are you crazy?
Me: Presently I am not.

He: What is your favorite color?
Me: Rainbow

He: What?
Me: Haven’t you heard about Rainbow colors?

He: OK OK what color you want to wear?
Me: People should wear what color suits them and not that color which doesn’t suit them but happened to be their favorite color.

He: Do you take hot drinks?
Me: Yes

He: What is your fav?
Me: Presently Tea, sometime Coffee.

He: You are hopeless, I meant alcohol
Me: That hot? You mean the chilled or iced ones? Presently no.

He: You smoke?
Me: Yup

He: Which is your fav brand?
Me: A passive smoker does not have the right to choose his brand.

He: Do you believe in Karma Theory?
Me: There are certain things where my belief has nothing to do with.

He: What do you mean?
Me: Whether you believe in it or not the sun will rise (in a common man’s perspective) every day.

He: I got it
Me: What did you get? I did not lose anything now.

He: You fool! (read from his face), I think you don’t know anything about Karma.
Me: You think so?

He: I think that I think so.
Me: So, what is special about this Karma?

He: That can be further divided.
Me: Really?

He: Yup!
Me: And?

He: They are Sanchitha Karma and Prarabdha Karma
Me: That sounds interesting. Can you brief it please?

He: Well….
Cameraman: Helloooo, who interviews whom?
He: Sorry, I got carried away.

He: Well, what did you learn from your apartment?
Me: My ceiling can be somebody else’s floor.

He: So, I think it is better to go for the topmost floor.
Me: High hopes! FYI most of the inventions are not from college toppers.

He: What do you mean?
Me: Baby foods might come with a free baby tomorrow, but mattress will not come with free sleep.

He: Once again what do you mean?
Me: Books cannot buy you knowledge

He: Is that the reason… I mean…
Me: CDs accompanying the books?

He: Yeah.
Me: Not sure, maybe I can answer after a Google.

He: What is common in cats and dogs?
Me: Dissimilarity

He: What is that?
Me: Cat is ‘what can you do for me’ and dog is ‘what can I do for you’

He: Ever failed in your life?
Me: Yes, once I managed to fail in English when I was in 5th grade.

He: I meant life
Me: Life? No, I never failed in biology, thank you.

He: You are welcome. Why can’t you sing?
Me: My mother was a music teacher.

He: Why didn’t you show your graduation certificate to your father?
Me: He died when I was doing second year.

He: You should have shown it, any way.
Me: I told you….
He: But still…….ok, What is your most recurrent dream?
Me: Me floating/ flying up, like a bird

He: Ever seen God or felt His presence?
Me: Many times

He: One time?
Me: I said many times

He: I mean can you take one time from that many ?
Me: Clever boy
(I give him a soft pinch)

Me: I met with an accident when I was 18. I skid while taking a turn on a rainy day.

He: I am really sorry, sir.
Me: So, was that you who put oil on the road?

He: No, No. this is not that sorry
Me: Ok, ok. That was my first flight. I really floated in the air for a second or so.

He: Did you manage to land properly?
Me: I crash landed.

He: Great!
Me: What?

He: I mean sorry! Please continue
Me: Hmm, I realized that I am in a pool of blood. There were so many people in the street. Mainly taking shelter under whatever they got. It still was raining. Nobody came to lift me or my bike. I stood up all by myself and proceeded towards my bike whose engine was still running. There he is! A drunkard.

He: Your bike was drunk?
Me: Nope! A man came to me. He was drunk. But he helped me to lift my bike and park it. When I said ‘thanks! .. its ok, I need to go’. He did not allow me to go. He took me to the nearest nursing home. There wasn’t power (power cuts and power failure during wind/rain is very common here). The doc lit a candle. He held the candle and the doc dressed me. It was like full body patch work. The funny thing was that he wasn’t holding the candle straight and it was dripping over my body. Most of my wounds had became numb (some part of my right knee (skin) remained numb for about 5 years) but this hot wax drips were troubling me.

He: So, when did God come?
Me: My dear friend, God is not someone who sits up in the heaven, with all the comforts. He will not come to you with his business card. And that is why he has kept people around you. Personally, I don’t like drunkards. But what if that man was a sober? He too might have been one among the spectators. So, He, sent that man to help me.

He: So the moral of the story is. ‘Drinking is helpful to others’, am I correct?
Me: One way you are right, you die early. If you want icing, consider smoking.

He: So, did I get you properly?
Me: Its my fate.

He: Thanks you!
Me: You are welcome!