Did I or Did I Not?

Are the days flying these days? Some days did, if not all days. Two days back, one of my first cousins' husband passed away. Among the elder relatives I have, he was the only one close to me. I last saw him 9 months back.  

The world around me is changing. Many familiar faces which still flash through my mind do not have any physical from any more. My mother, couple of my cousins, couple of my uncles.. they all became just memories. Since I was with my mother when she passed away, it is comparatively easy to believe that she is no more. But the death of others came to me as phone calls or mails. So, if I visit those houses, I will not be able to see those familiar faces again.  This kind of thoughts are capable of inducing a flavor of fear in us. But they are also capable of giving us some lessons about life. The choice is ours

Sometimes, there is no need for anybody to die to give us a lesson relating to life. Even a broken friendship is capable of doing that. May be the flavor is different, but it still can teach something about  how our thoughts and memories becomes pains and how it hurts.

Today, I could not write what I wished to write.. Today, will I be able to console myself telling 'Hey, they are just thoughts, its just a memory, just relax'? I don't know...

I wanted to write something and I ended up writing something else?… I don't know

But I know one thing for sure – there is pain in my heart and it hurts