Festivals

I don’t know the reason but we shifted from that house to another. And here I finished my 4th grade and that was the last class available in that school. So, that means I need to go to another school from next year onwards. I finished my 4th grade with first class but the last word from my teacher wasn’t ‘best wishes’ but she told my mom that there is no place left in my body to be beaten by her. She was a ‘terror’ – Radhamani teacher.

Once she had asked the class what we want to become when we grow up. Many students said ‘police’ , ‘driver’ , ‘conductor’ (a person who issues tickets in transport bus) etc and I don’t remember what I said. Or may be she did not ask me.....

My dad did not show any interest in admitting me to any school and finally mom took me to a nearby school which had very bad reputation. Some of our relatives and mom’s one of the colleagues (who was close to our family) advised her that she is spoiling my future since I was good at studies.

Govt.Model High School

Thus before attending even once day, I joined another school. This was a government school, known mainly for student protests and strikes!. But it also had a reputation.

I did not have any friends in my neighborhood. This was mainly because I had five cousins with me (out of 27) and four of them used to play with me and my sis. The eldest was a kind of rowdy that time and used to beat his younger siblings. So, I wasn’t that friendly with him during my childhood.

Diwali was one of our favorite festivals, apart from the most popular Onam (during August-September). It was during Diwali we burst fire crackers and most of the time I used to get some burn (by experimenting new things) which I hid from my dad.

Onam days were grand. 10 days of holiday. Four days of feast (Sadhya) with different sweets. Usually some of our relative might invite us to have feast with them during the third or fourth day. Thus it will be different set of dishes. Though the curries would be same by name, taste will be different. The feast would consist of minimum of three pickles (ginger, lemon and mango), one mixed vegetable curry called ‘Aviyal’, one or two fried vegetables called ‘thoran’ (like cabbage, beans, bitter gourd etc), then this pachadi, kichadi, banana chips(vattal), banana chip coated with jaggery (uppery), then papad (another thin and round fried item) and many more, all these are side dishes and there will be some main curry which we pour and mix with rice. They are parippu, sambar, rasam, pulissery, mor (spiced buttermilk).

The major item is the sweet served at the end (but one). One day it would be Vermicelli (called semya, a kind of pasta stuff) payasam. Then kadala payasm, palada payasam, pradhaman, jackfruit payasam, etc. Onam feast is a traditional vegetarian feast, all over our state, Kerala

Onam is play time too. We get new cloths, new ball to play, we fly kites…..Dad’s eldest brother used to sponsor the swing, always. My dad used to make kites. And most of the time he accompanied us with glue and paper just in case to repair the kites. Those days were real fun. What is the idea behind Onam? It’s allover there in the net. One way, its a harvest festival.

Floral decoration (Attha Poo or Pookkalam) is another thing that happens during Onam, done in the morning.




We do this for 10 days (all over the state, it starts and ends on the same day). We need to pluck the flower/buds in the evening itself else others will 'steal' it. Elders used to present others a small 'yellow' cloth. And for me, it was my dad who used to give.

Lots of many other activities happen during onam in our state, other than this; especially in the rural areas. Like, boat race (Vallam Kali), Thiruvathira kali ( a traditional dance form of kerala ) etc.

Thiruvathira Kali

Vallam Kali (Boat Game/race)

For us, the city people, there was this 'procession' where many agencies participate (major government departments, schools, florists etc) on 4th onam day. People take place on both sides of the road and watch. This travels about 5 kilometers.

Another major festival we eagerly used to wait is the Vishu, during April..

Kanikonna Tree During April


Two things are part of this festival. One the ‘Vishu Kani’. Here, we keep lots of fruits and vegetables (mango, usually as a bunch is a must then cucumber, jack fruit etc etc) , flowers (Yellow one calle Kani Konna is a must), ornaments (which symbolically represents the prosperity) etc and there will be pictures/idols of God Vishnu (in the form of Guruvayurappan or Krishna) at the centre. We will lit a lamp in the morning. This is usually done by elder women member of the family. What we have to do is see this first thing in the morning. When we wake up, we need to cover our eyes and come to the place where (usually the pooja room) this Kani is placed. Kids are usually wakened up by moms and they will cover the kids eyes with their palms.

Vishu Kani

But for us, the interesting part is the second aspect of it. The ‘Vishu Kaineettam’ That is, elders (or to be precise the family head) have to give some money (usually coins) to the younger members of the family. Thus I used to get some money from my dad, mom, some uncles, aunties etc. This is not a silly thing and sometimes, we get a decent saving. But I used to spent the money by buying ice cream, toys, comic etc.

Karthika was another festival we used to celebrate. During this day, we lit small oil lamps and keep it on our compound wall, entrance of our house etc.

A typical Karthika lamp

During Christmas, I used to buy Christmas greeting cards. Either I gave it to one or two cousins or I kept it with me!

I think that was the time Autorickshaws started plying on the road.

'Auto'

I told my parents I want to travel in that. But it took long time and finally, one day I traveled in it and felt like I am a prince. Those days, the bus fare started at 10 paise (and today, 10 paise coin itself is not there due to inflation – 100 paise = 1 Rupee). Those days, even one paisa had a value. We could buy two peanut candy with one paisa.

My family never had any pleasure trips or picnics. I did not have good relations with any of my relatives except those 4 cousins, during my childhood. When I grew up, one or two got added up, that’s all. Otherwise, I grew up in a kind of lonely environment and may be coz of that, I like my company. I was comfortable in the solitude in multitude coz, inside my mind, it was multitude in solitude.

Karma

May 13 2005

Dear......,

..............
..............

So, this time I will tell you something about Karma. I think it is the most popular Indian word in English. But people dont know what exactly it is. Many of them simply believe that 'if you do this this will be the effect' -cause and effect- as karma. Though it is not wrong, one can always learn more about karma.

As everyone believes, karma is the effect of our act. When you come to this world as a human, you are not sent empty handed. You are provided with a wallet with some money to spend. And then whether you like it or not, want or do not want, you earn more and more money, karma.

Spending this money is like planting seeds, generally speaking. It will give you some fruits one day or another. And dont ask me from where that first dose of karma came. It is like asking which came first , the hen or the egg (at least for me)

Karma can be further divided into four (some say it is three and some may say it is more than four, I am telling you what I understood so far) They are

1.Sanchita Karma
2.Prarabdha Karma
3.Agami Karma
4.Kriyamana Karma

1.Sanchita karma : It is the sum total of all the karmas you hold. It is the result of all the actions from all your past life times. One can change one's sanchita karma through satsang, meditation , prayaschitta and similar good acts (I am talking about the bad karma)

2.Prarabdha karma: Actully, this is part of sanchita karma. But it is this karma that caused you to take this birth. This is the cause for your rebirth. That is, these are the fruits of the seeds you planted in your past lifes but could not eat the fruits. These are ripe fruits. So you can not change it. Good or Bad, you cant eascape from Prarabdha karma. One does not hold any control over it.

3.Agami karma: This is the karma you are earning or saving for your future. I read somewhere that this karma can also be called kriyamana karma. But I have confusion. So, I am passing that confusion to you also. You clear it.

4.Kriyamana karma: This is Instant karma (not that music band ..ha ha). You get the result immediately, no need to wait. While shaving you got cut your face and there comes the blood. Your head bumbed on a wall and there comes the buldge, you pinch your son and there he cries.....

Many says there is an example in our vedantic knowledge. I dont know from which scripture it came. But usually people use that as the best exmple to explain karma.

Consider this : An archer stands with a filled quiver. He took one arrow and sent it towards the target. Then he took another arrow in his bow and is ready to shoot.The arrow he already sent is the prarabdha karma. Now he dont have any control over it. (unless and until he is not
that an expert to use the second arrow to divert the first one)The arrow he has with his bow, now, is the Agami karma.The still not used arrows left in the quiver is the sanchita karma.

This the basic thing about karma.....oh! it became a looong mail..
convey my regards to all at home and love to your son.

bye for now and take care

with prayers,

Jayaram

Topperless!

I was wondering how this world would be without college toppers and rank holders. When the results for my 10th exam came, one of my schoolmate (Hari) got the second rank in my state, another one got 10th rank (John Joseph, who at least used to smile at me) and I think my 7th standard science teacher’s son Santhosh George also got some ranks….after some years, one of my relatives came out with 4th rank in SSLC (10th grade) exam. There came many more ranks in medical and engineering entrance exams from my college then……..John also got some ranks I think. He was in my class during PUC or (11 and 12 grade) – ( I was out of the class most of the time….lol)

But where are they? The cream students? ….that relative of mine ended up as a bank officer…….and John became a Surgeon. ….no idea about others….

I am not concluding on anything, I do have respect for all those toppers and their valuable contributions, but sharing something that I found interesting…..look at some of these people from many walks of our life – science, literature, business, music, sports, invention, service, politics…..

Albert Einstein (continued his education later)
Bill Gates
Bryan Adams
Princess Diana
Christina Aguilera
Dhirubhai Ambani (self made Indian businessman – billionaire)
Boris Becker
Pierce Brosnan
Jim Carrey
Charlie Chaplin
Charles Dickens
Agatha Christie
Jackie Collins
Christopher Columbus
Sean Connery
Daniel Craig
Tom Cruise
Johnny Depp
Cameron Diaz
Celine Dion
George Eastman
Thomas Alva Edison
Michael Faraday
Henry Ford
Benjamin Franklin
Harry Houdini
Elton John
Nicole Kidman
John Major
George Michael
Marilyn Monroe
Roger Moore
Florence Nightingale
Al Pacino
Alexander Pope
William Shakespeare
George Bernard Shaw
George Washington
Walt Disney (received honorary high-school diploma from hometown high school at age 58).

This is only part of the list which is very long….

All these people were dropouts…..a couple of them continued studies but they weren’t toppers for sure.

May be this is an interesting post for my son!!!

Grrrrrrrr, you better study.

Sleeping On The Moon

Some day during Jan-Feb 2006

Dear....

. . .
. . .

Sometimes it can be my neighbors’ dog, which troubles me. Sometimes even an aero plane………………… But most of the time, it is my mind which is playing tricks with me. I even tried self-hypnosis and white sound (this still goes on) and hot milk before retiring.

Whether you believe it or not, it has something to do with other planets also (especially moon, though it is just a moon).

When I said this to many rational and scientific minded people (who didn’t consider that I love science than commerce) laughed at me. I asked one of them ‘do you know how tides happen?’

He started with “the moon…….”

I said,

“ if that silly moon can influence that much of water why can’t it influence a silly and small man? Why do asthmatic people suffer more on full moon? Why do some bees sting without any provocation during full moon? And do you know the word Lunatic is derived from Lunar? "

He didn’t answer me but smiled at me and gave a look which said 'this-stupid-will-never –understand'.

Scientists call this ‘Full moon effect’, or explain this as our hormonal reaction to increased positive ions occurring during full moon (but why?). Astrologers put it in a different way, that’s all. And as with everything, each and every human reacts differently to one single thing. Like, acetaminophen is helpless in controlling pain in me; (.........) will get a diarrhea if he take Papaya; one of my old buddies – he is no more – used to get sneezing if he eat a type of banana; some people enjoy the smell of cigarette smoke and it triggers a migraine in many; some people cant stand in high altitudes-I saw one guy being sent back to base camp during my high altitude trek-; There is a man who has dark blue/sort of black colored blood – his name is Mohan and electricity has no effect on him and he makes his living by his shows using high voltage electricity - ….As with everything, we generalize things to come to some conclusion and leaves a space for exceptions.

There are about 20 types of bacteria in our mouth (may be not all at a time). They don’t know where they live. They even don’t know that it has an influence on us. We play the role of a perfect eco system for many living organisms. In many case, both don’t know that the other exists. I can say no molecule exists, as I have not seen it or studied up to a molecular level. I can live with that belief, till I die. But in reality, it exists. We can damage a computer hard disk without opening the case, without anybody noticing it. We can do the same thing with a digital camera, using just magnetism and sometimes even sound (created electronically). So, one has something to do with the other, whether they know it or not.

When I suggested to consult a homeopath for a particular problem, one person said ‘ I don’t believe in homeopathy’. I didn’t say anything. But this thought came to my mind that time. Take some castor oil and have a cup of hot water and just believe that nothing will happen and start your day. But the problem is one need to carry adult diapers as mobile toilets are not available. You take 60mg of phenobarbitone and believe that nothing will happen. But it will make you sleep. In both cases stuffs went to your stomach and belief didn’t help.

.....
......


Rgds,

Jay

GgahooYoogle

Ever wondered how to use Google and Yahoo! search at the same time? Try this

http://www.gahooyoogle.com/

Yoga

28.06.2005

Dear........

....................
...................

Yoga is becoming very popular day by day both here in India and abroad. But have you ever heard of ‘Yama’ and ‘Niyama’ ? They are the code of conduct prescribed by Patanjali, in his yoga sutra, for every practitioner of yoga. Yoga means union….union with the divine….union of self with God. To achieve this, one need to practice the twofold aspects of yoga, that is, the spiritual aspect and the physical aspect.

But 99% of those who do yoga follows only the physical aspect – doing the asanas and postures. It doesn’t mean that it is of no use, it is useful but the real goal of yoga is not achieved. Yama and Niyama are the spiritual aspects of yoga. Yama is the social discipline and Niyama is the self discipline.

Yama are of 5 kinds. (Some spiritual leaders add 5 more, but as I have not gone through the yoga sutra so far, I don’t know how many are there exactly).

Ahimsa – it is self explanatory, isn’t it? Don’t harm others in your acts, words or even in thoughts. This can include killing of animals or even cruel to them. (so don’t through stone when you see a dog next time, forget and forgive that dog which bit you loooong back…lol)
Satya – Be truthful and don’t lie. This also includes your act, words gesture etc
Asteya – Non stealing. Be honest and also don’t take advantage of others.
Brahmacharya – being celibate when single and being faithful to your spouse after marriage. Let you control the lust and not the other way.
Aparigraha – Don’t be greedy. You take only what you really need.

Niyama

Saucha – Cleanliness. Keep your body, mind and surroundings clean.
Santhosha – Be happy. Be happy with what you have and don’t worry about what you don’t have. This does not mean that you should not have any ambition in your life.
Tapas – Austerity. Practice those things which help to burn the impurities in your life. This includes the practice of yoga, meditation, pilgrimage, proper sleep, your regular fitness programme etc.
Svadhyaya – Self study of self examination. Apply what you learnt from the scriptures in your life and see the progress. Try to find who really you are.
Isvara Pranidhana – Worship God. Do puja and japa and surrender to God.

You won’t believe, but long long back, first we need to practice yama and niyama before we actually practice the asanas and other things in yoga. But now, this spiritual aspect of yoga is almost completely forgotten. And with some others, they start practicing yoga as a means to improve overall health and later on turns to spirituality (that is a good sign).

Some more which got added to this yogic discipline are

Kshama – patience
Daya – be compassionate
Mitahara – eat moderately
Dana – Charity or the “ art of giving”
Astikya – complete faith in God, Guru, your spiritual path etc
Sidhantha Shravana _ listening to scriptures
Vratha – adopting the religious vows in one’s life (man, this is not “tomorrow I will be observing vratha, so let me have one more chicken)
It became a very long mail now…..let me take some rest

Jai Guru Dev!!

Bye for now and take care.

With prayers,

Jayaram

Neighborhood etc

At home, I used to wear a Khaki half trouser. I did not get good cloths to wear during these periods This Khaki cloth was coming from the Government Transport Department where my uncle was working. Apart from the school uniform, I used to get one pair of color cloths per year, during Onam festival; and sometimes, when dad gets some additional money by surrendering his unused leave. Dad was extremely healthy (I don’t remember him taking bed rest not even a single time, except for surgery (like cataract). He never used to get fever or even cold, one reason could be that he practiced yoga for about 10-15 years ) and hence he always had some unused leave.

I don’t remember ‘celebrating’ any or my birthday except the one I mentioned, but I remember mother preparing ‘payasam’ (a sweet) during most of my birthdays’.

The in and around places near me were, Sasthamangalam, Vellayambalam, Kowdiar and Vazhuthacaud etc. My school was about 3 kilometers away from my house and we (me sis, cousins) used to walk to and fro. On the way there was a Temple called ‘Althara’ and near that there was house which had a gooseberry tree. We used to sneak in to the compound and get the berries.

There were two palaces in our neighborhood. One at Kowdiar and another at Kanaka Kunnu. During Onam festival, all these area would be illuminated and the Kanaka kunnu palace looked stunning. Family members of the Travancore dynasty still live in Kowdiar palace.

One of the main attractions of this city (Trivandrum) was the presence of Red colored Double Decker bus (just like the one seen in London). I think this started plying on the roads during the British rule. There were only two or three routes for the Decker and ours was one (Sasthamangalam). I liked traveling in that bus sitting ‘up’. That too catching a window seat.

When I grew up, I read in the news paper that ours was one of the cleanest cities in the world that time (my childhood days, the beginning of 70s), though it was a very small city. We used to drink water directly from the tap and we did not catch any waterborne disease. For wounds, we never used to go to any doc to dress it but used to squeeze out the drops from a plant called ‘poochedi’ in Malayalam and apply it. There were two types. This stuff worked really well. I might have wounded a hundred times (a lil exaggerated?) and it never became septic. The famous doc of our locality was Dr.Keshavan Nair and we all had very high respect for him. He worked in a hospital called ‘Sri Ramakrishna Mission Charitable Hospital’. But it was popularly known as the ‘Sasthamangalam Hospital’

I developed cavities in my tooth and my parents did not care. Thus I could not eat some food items and others in my family ate. I remember me crushing the peanuts to powder and having them. Since we play without wearing any shoe, I used to get lots of wounds. Main culprit was broken glass pieces and thorns. These things were plenty in our school ground. I hid my wounds from my dad else he would beat me.

I remember one walking experience during these periods. Dad took us to the beach. There was a temple also. Unfortunately there was huge rush in the bus and dad said we will walk and he kept walking and we followed. I was about 8-9 years old and we walked about 8-10 kilo meters.

As I mentioned, quarrel between dad and mom was a definite thing during salary day. Mom used to pay her ‘share’ to that uncle, though dad asked her not to do so. Then mom started borrowing money to adjust this. Thus she created some private debts without father knowing. She did some extravaganza by spending money in restaurants. And this was something good for us since either we were part of it or she brought parcels for us, excluding dad. I gave him a share of it once (banana fry) and he shouted at mom for wasting money and thus we stopped giving him any share. Mom spent lot of money for eatables and then paid off at a bakery and grocers shop; those purchases were made by that uncle and mom’s sister and not by us. Dad spent some part of his money in lotteries (The main reason was he won a decent amount before marriage and put that money in some private bank which then declared bankrupt). The ultimate result was there weren’t any saving and we moved from one rented house to another.

At this stage, dad’s eldest brother took some initiative and arranged some money and we finally bought a piece of land, built a small house and started living there. One of my neighbors was a drunkard and rowdy. Almost all days there were quarrel and shouting. That huge guy used to beat his wife and she cried loudly. Sometimes he used to take a dagger and threatened to kill her. We can hear all these shouting. If what we had inside the house was fire (quarrel) outside it was forest fire. I was very scared of that man, who always had red eyes. I used to run away when I spot him.

Thus I lived in total fear. My dad hated this place and thus we came back to my uncle’s another house as tenants, for a short time till that own house got disposed. Then moved to another rented house.

Here we were living in a portion along with house owner. Nothing scary here. But I had some minor fights with house owner’s son (committed suicide last year, due to some financial liabilities). Some kids stuff. His sisters were nice to me and the youngest one became a small time movie actress.

My dad had some money with him since he sold that house for a profit. Another uncle of ours (died a couple of months ago) borrowed a part of it and he then hesitated to return. Dad got a part of it in installments, and this process took many years. He invested the remaining money in some land, which had coconut cultivation. This we bought from one of my aunt’s relatives. Thus I accompanied that aunt (sometimes with sister or mom) when she goes there to pluck coconuts from her property, thus we can pluck coconuts from our property. That was interesting journey. There we used to visit aunt's some of the relatives too.

There were paddy fields, coconut cultivation, small ponds, streams, pine apple, mango trees, rocks, tapioca, hen, cattle etc...

Bob Woolmer

How did Bob Woolmer die? He died of natural causes!! Till now the question was who killed him. There were some 'he was poisoned' theories with proof too.....but all of a sudden he died of heart failure. And it took about 60 days for the 'experts' to find this out!!!!

Today’s reports keeps mum on the strangulation marks or poison. Pakistan entourage had high security that included intelligence people too. So, who can kill breaking such a security without the security knowing it? Well, was it the players or some 'political hands ' to divert the attention and save somebody’s ***?

So who let the dogs out?


(for some BBC reports : http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6634217.stm )

BLOOD SPORT

I went to another school (Sisu Vihar) next year and we moved into a rented house, which was a portion of my dad’s younger brother’s house. Quarrel between my dad and mom became more and more often. Sometimes (at night) mom used to leave the house (usually she proceeds to our old house (uncle’s) which was about 300 feet away) and it was my job running after her, crying, pleading her not to go and bringing her back to home. I have never seen my father beating my mom. He never abused her too. (My parents never used any bad words and once I got beaten to pulp for calling my sister a swear word, though I did not know what it meant).

(Dad was a non-smoker and teetotaler, but he used to chew betel leaf, that too very often. Or I better say he was addicted to it.

Betel Leaves

He did not use much tobacco along with it. Mostly only three things – betel leaf, betel nut and lime paste which is calcium carbonate. There was a dedicated plate for this purpose, which was used to keep all the ingredients in small quantities. There was a special cutter

Nut Cutter


for cutting betel nuts, in Malayalam, this is called ‘Pakku Vetti’ (pakku means betel nut and vetti means tool used for cutting)).

Thus my family atmosphere was morose. This was the situation till I became 17 years old. Life was under fear, insecurity, uncertainty and turmoil.

Overall, dad became more ferocious. He lived in his own world. He hardly talked to mom. I don’t remember him taking me to any movie. He wasn’t mild even to me and my sister. So I was always after my mom. She bought me almost everything she could. Books, pen, pencil, torch, toys. Chocolate…… Dad too used to buy one story book per month and he bought me ice cream whenever I came with a decent report card, which was the usual thing for me. But I did fail in math once or twice. Then he won’t sign the report card and I have to beg and apologize. But those moments were rare. There weren’t anybody to take care of our studies at home. Nobody asked me to study. There weren’t anybody to help me doing my home work (except my sister, sometimes, that too after cribbing!).

It was my job to wash my clothes. In my family everyone washed their clothes by themselves, including dad. We had separate plates for each member. That too we washed ourselves. I think this is hygienic but can stand in between developing sharing mentality in kids and induces ‘I’ and ‘My’ feeling. But if both parents are working and there is no servant, we need to adjust.

I was a timid boy. I got teased and troubled by even the girls of my class, in the new School. I cried. How long can I cry? Then I had a fight with another boy, for some reason, when I lost all my control. That was a turning point, though we both got beatings from our teacher. Then I started reacting to those who dared to trouble me. I proved to be good at fighting. I even fought with 2-3 kids of my size at the same time. Slowly I got the rowdy title. I never started a fight. Many times my class teacher asked me to bring my parents. But they did not turn up. More beatings, more standing out (of the class), more crying, more standing in front of the class with hands up, more standing in the class with books on head!!!!!

One aunty (my mom’s elder sister who was working in another school) came handy in these circumstances. She came to my school representing my parents.

There were small gangs headed by somebody and I too had one. Usually, members under us would be those who got beaten by us at some point of time. I had a right hand man who always stood with me and when grew up, became a Soldier. Even after 30 years, we are friends. After a BIG fight with another class (division), I got shifted to my enemy class as punishment. I cried a lot and begged my class teacher to put me back to my ‘home’ division.

Finally she agreed on one condition. I need to go to the Head Mistress and get her permission since it was her decision to change my division. Happily I went to her room and she forgave me. And my right hand man moved a little and gave me a place to sit. We both smiled at each other. That Head Mistress was one of the popular figures in the Teacher Community, those days – Mariyamma Teacher.

There was a beautiful girl (Lini) in our school whose presence made many of us a little bashful.

BRAHMA'S TIME

Following is taken from one of my mails to (?) ....I think the 'to' part is not important.

"
27-10-2005

...............
...............

I told you long ago that I will tell you something about Time. But I didn’t get enough time. I clearly remember one thing. My Guru talked about the Trimurthy’s time. He did that in Santa Monica, California. And it is in one of the seven tapes I have (I converted that into a CD). Don’t know when I am going to hear it again (lazy). So, I will tell you something about Brahma’s time. Do you have any idea how long Brahma will live? Only for 100 years. Then why is he still alive? The difference is his day is slightly(!!!) more than ours.

Our one year = 1 deva day and night
360 dava days and nights = 1 deva varsha
12,000 deva varsha = 1 mahayuga = 4.32 million years (ours)
71 mahayuga = 1 manvantara = 0.308448 billion years
14 manvantaras = 1 kalpa = a Brahma day = 4.32 billion years
2 kalpas = 1 brahma day and night = 8.64 billion years
360 brahma days and nights = 1 brahma year = 3.1 trillion years
100 brahma years = 1 brahma kaal = 310 trillion years

Don’t think that I remember all this calculations. I just took it from Guruji’s one of the books….Jai Gurudev.

28-10-2005

Not only this, the ancient Indians had very clear calculations about the universe. Now the Vedic Mathematics is picking up. Every book shop has it. Ancient Indians had very high precision that too without using any super computers. They were experts in mental math.

As of now I don’t know what our scriptures say about what will happen once brahma kaal is over. I guess that is the period where everything gets destroyed. And it may start again. It is like our breath. When we take a breath, our chest/stomach expands and when we breathe out, it contracts. Similarly, the entire universe it presently taking a breath and hence it is expanding. Scientists also say that this universe is presently expanding. And if you notice, there is a breathless moment between every cycle. Universe also follows the same principle. Guruji says the whole universe is a single organism. Look at this. In our mouth itself, we have at least 20 types of bacteria. They live there. They don’t know where they are. Then we have worms in our body. Now you stay in Germany. That is your country. India is my country. But what would we say, if we both go to space and look at the planet earth? It becomes ‘our home’. When we move out of this Galaxy (Milky way) we will point our finger to Milky way and say, that’s my home….this goes on and on. And that is the reason why astrology works. Everything affects the other thing in this universe, as everything is inter connected.

Convey my regards to all at home….bye for now and take care.

Rgds,

Jayaram.

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AN UNEXPECTED HOLIDAY

My dad was a ‘pooja’ (Worshiping the God by lighting lamp, offering prayer, flowers, chanting mantras etc) oriented man. He was very punctual about it. I remember him spending long time in his ‘pooja’ room (in India, people used to keep a dedicated room for worship and keeps it very neat and clean and calls it a pooja room. (One can hardly see this in modern middle-class Indian homes; it is becoming just a pooja cupboard…the rich still have this choice). He might skip a meal or two but not his pooja. I don’t know what kind of prayer he was saying or what ‘mantra’ he used. But anyway, he was ‘crazy’ about his pooja.

There was one maternal uncle I ‘hated’, that time. A horrible man. He used to scold me. I thought ‘when I grow up, I will beat him’. This guy was the prominent figure in my mother’s family. Mom’s parents died early and she was brought up by some of her relatives. I don’t remember how this uncle is related to me (while writing this). My mom used to call him uncle and we called him ‘big uncle’ (valyammavan, in Malayalam- valya means big and ammavan means uncle).

‘Mom’s house’ memory is like this. There was her elder sister and her 5 children (my cousins), then this uncle. All of those cousins were married except two. One got married later and other remained unmarried (and died a couple of years back). I and my cousins had huge age gap since mom’s marriage was a late marriage. One of those cousins even had a son of my age. This big uncle was very fond of one of those cousin’s kids and never treated me and my sis well. Sometimes he even treated us like servants. Mom did not raise any voice. Not just mom, nobody in that house raised any voice against him.

My mom used to part her salary with this uncle (and her elder sister’s family too). May be coz, it was he who brought her up, at some point of time, though his character does not match with such a benign act. But later on, this became the main issue in my family. The usual happy day, the salary day, thus provided disquietude.

The story tells that this uncle requested my mom to vacate our rented house and live with them (now the rent too would come to him). Dad asked for a dedicated pooja room and he agreed to that. We moved. But that uncle cheated my parents. We even did not get a separate room to sleep. This ended up in a sort of altercation and my dad’s elder brother also got involved.

But the issue here was my father was a very soft type. He never quarrels with others. A solid believer in God. Never troubles others but helps them if possible. All he wanted was a pooja room and he did not even get a proper pooja place. There weren’t anybody in that house to support him, not even his own wife. This led him to a nervous breakdown. He could not even sleep. And finally, his eldest brother took him to a doc, who prescribed sleeping pills.

My dad had nobody to open his mind/heart. His own wife wasn’t a support to him. She did not understand him. And may be he also did not understand her. Since the root cause is my mom (through which this uncle came to our life), may be my dad developed a dislike in her. There stated a gap and may be each other’s imprudent acts widened it. Minor tremours kept on happening in their married life/our life, and started the quarrel days, till I came of age.

If dad is with me now, I could have told him where and what went wrong with him, what went wrong with his belief in God, what went wrong with his poojas. But he is not anymore. This is a great lesson for everyone who is in the path of worshiping God. And I am thankful to my dad for that great lesson.

NEVER ‘FEAR’ GOD. HE WILL NOT PUNISH YOU. HE IS YOUR FRIEND AND NOT FOE. HE LOVES YOU. GOD IS NOT THAT IMAGE OR IDOL; HE IS BEYOND THAT. HE IS NOT THERE TO TEST YOU. A SCHOOL TEACHER GIVES A TEST TO GET AN IDEA TO WHAT EXTEND THE STUDENT UNDERSTOOD. WITH GOD, HE KNOWS OUR LIMITATIONS AND CAPABILITIES. HE DOESN’T HAVE TO PUT A TEST FOR THAT PURPOSE. IF HE HAS TO, THEN HE IS NOT WORTH CALLING GOD…..

I became 5 years. My nursery was over and I was supposed to go to 1st standard/grade. But nobody cared for it. Thus I was left out with another uncle, my dad’s eldest brother. I liked him. He was a nice guy. His wife, my aunt too was very nice. And my family started living with them. Parents went for work and sister attended her class and I was left out in the house, for one whole year. Thus I lost one academic year and my class mates moved ahead of me. I did not do any study during this period but forced my sis to read out stories to me which she did not like. But I achieved this by complaining to my mom, uncle aunty etc.

I don’t clearly remember how I spent that one year. I used to eagerly wait for my mom to come back, that I still remember. My one set of cousins (dad’s younger brother's 5 children) used to come to that house, after school. Then my sister. We played. My uncle had farms and coconut grooves. I remember him taking me with him for plucking coconut. I enjoyed that coz, we traveled in his car and that was a privilege I got over my sister or other cousins. He used get me tender coconut and I loved it. He had 3 children but those cousins were very elder to me.

The Zoo is not that far from our place, it was just 3 Km away by road, which was walkable even for me. Those days, the sound pollution was less mainly coz of fewer vehicles. Thus I could hear the lions roar mostly during evenings.

Uncle had a dog. I played with him. One day there came a puppy and this dog chased it. I got angry and decided to kill the dog and gave him some seed that I thought would be poisonous. The dog did not eat and I forced it and the result was a serious bite. My dad was present on that day and he came running to beat me and not to help me, though the wound was deep and I was bleeding. My aunty and her servant came to rescue me from dad and they did some home treatment. Keeping a well heated coconut husk over the wound was part of it and that was horrible. Hoooo hooo… Nobody took me to any doc; nor did any doc came to me! The bite mark stayed there for more than 10 years.

That doesn’t mean that I did not like animals. I loved/love them. After that incident, we became friends again. And Later on, when we came as a tenant in that uncle’s one of the houses, this dog used to accompany me till our house. He was capable of giving us ‘shake hand’….Dear dog, I miss you!!!

There were some other dogs in our surroundings. Some used to quarrel with our dog. And I used to stone them. Thus one dog considered me as his enemy. He chased me a couple of times.

The strangest thing I remember during the stay in this house is a duck attacking me. Uncle had about 5-6 ducks and one among them declared war on me. It always chased me and tried to bite me. And I threw stones at it. No idea how this enemity started. To be precise, I don’t remember whether I started it first by stoning the duck or not. But in that case, I don’t see any motive in me doing so.

That house was surrounded by ample land and it had many things of interest. There was a well. There were mango trees, jack fruit trees, tapioca, chilly, guava, tamarind, rose, jasmine and many other flowers and plants (I don’t know their names in English). Then this ducks, hens and a dog. There weren’t any 'own' cats, but some cats used to come when my aunty cut fish. I remember one yellow and sort-of-white striped cat. Behind the compound wall there was a bushy area and I was told that there were Foxes. The uninvited guest who visited very frequently was yellow colored huge rat snakes.

Next year I too joined my mom’s school (Barton Hill Primary School). I studied in Malayalam medium. The usual trend was, kids from upper middle class (sometimes even from middle class, but not poor) used to study in English medium. That too those who study well. But if you are rich, even if you are not good at studies, you study in English medium. In my case, I was good at studies and my parents could afford it (the irony is there weren’t any additional expense since I studied in a government school). But still I studied in Malayalam medium. Among my relatives, in my generation, only one person studied in English medium, and that is my dad’s youngest brother’s eldest son.. I wished to study in English medium.

Sometimes we won’t get bus and we walked 5 km to reach the school (at the age of 6). I did not have any footwear, most of the time; if I lose one, it took long time to get a new one!. And many a times this ended up in my feet hitting some stones and getting wounded accidentally, coz mom used to drag me. Since she was a teacher, she had to be there in time. But most of the time, we reached there after the first bell !!! I had the ‘teacher’s son’ immunity so, most of the time I did not get any punishment for coming late, but sometimes I got.

I studied decently and I remember me coming out with a 10 out 10 in my slate

Slate


(a rectangle piece of baked clay, black in color and looked like a thick board, with a wooden frame, which was the main medium to write using a slate pencil; we used even Sea Urchin’s – pencil urchin-

Pencil Urchin


spikes as pencil) after one exam.

But this did not happen quite often, me scoring out of out.

Nursery

When I became about 4, I joined a nursery (Bala Vihar Nursery, it seems, not sure). I cried and cried and cried and finally my sister, who was my only friend and acquaintance, sat with me and thus she lost her one academic year!! Later on, we weren’t friendly and always used to quarrel with each other and was known as 'Snake and Mongoose'.

I remember my class teacher’s face, just coz I still have a group photo. I can’t recognize any or my class mates. My dad used to drop me and then mother picked me. While coming back, I was on foot. Those days, we the middle class kids were able to walk 2-3 kilo meters without any trouble. Only the rich had a motor bike or a car. My dad’s eldest brother had a car. Owing a car in the late sixties was a big thing in India.

My parents were working. Mother worked in school (music teacher) and father in the secretariat library, both were State Government employees. I have a vague picture of my 'then house' (rented) and me going to nursery sitting on the small seat of my dad’s bicycle. In that house we had some open space too. Dad had made a shady stuff by keeping some wooden poles and letting the bitter gourd to creep over it. It looked like a small shed. I remember some caterpillars moving around. We sat there and reposed.



Upma with Banana

Most of the day I carried ‘Upma’ as my lunch and hence kids used to tease me. Our brain is very productive in remembering bad things. Dad used to stop at some shop to buy banana which I was supposed to have along with Upma. Many a times he used to get even my snacks on the way. I don’t know why but I have a dull picture in my mind of that Anglo Indian lady who ran a bakery, from which we used to buy biscuits and all. I do remember that oval shaped biscuit which I have never seen in any other shops.

Once my foot accidentally went between the moving spokes and thus got sprained and wounded. As usual, dad repaired my foot!.

My dad (and his younger brother) was a vegetarian, by choice, and mom a non vegetarian. Mom ate non veg without dad knowing it, but me and sis had a clue. We cooked only vegetarian food at home. And Thus I too became a vegetarian. I got many opportunities to eat fish and meat but did not eat or better say could not eat. Presently, I and my sister are the only vegetarians in our family and relatives.

There came a war in 1971. Dad told me war is going on with Pakistan. But I did not understand much. I might have taken a stick or the small bow and arrow and enacted some fights. But it seemed my family also faced some financial probs during war. I saw somebody coming and taking the sewing machine. Parents might have sold it.

One birthday came during this period. Dad bought small polythene covers and filled it with different eatables like cashew nut, dry grapes etc and I distributed it in my nursery.

It looks like, we were a happy family, that time.

End of my nursery era.

I Am Three

It just happened one fine day and night. Technically it was day but it really was dark and the electric lights were a blessing. But still I was confused and that is what usually happens when you choose to come to this world at wee hours, like 2 am.

Born in Thiruvananthapuram or Trivandrum at a government hospital called ‘Kottakkakam hospital’. Kottakkakam means inside the fort. There were four forts built by the old Travancore Kings around this place.

Though I was the second child to my parents, I was the third. First child was a dead child. Story says, mom happened to see a snake in a window next to her, accidentally, and that shock and scare killed the unborn child.

I don’t remember anything till I became 2 and a half or may be 3. The only one thing I remember is a black and white memory of me sitting in a coffee plant/tree and one of my legs got struck between two branches. And it was said that there was a boy (whose name was Vijayan) to take care of me who ate most of my food and caught for giving me milk which had a dead fly and thus got sacked. But there are some incidents told to me by mom or other relatives.

One fine evening, I was lying in the cradle and somebody gave me a wooden scale (12 inches one) to play with. Naturally, I kept that in my mouth. There was a temple nearby and like many other temples, here also they had the offering of ‘bang!**’. There came a bang sound and I got frightened and that scale pierced into my throat and thus became a ’bloody’ incident.

(**I don’t know the exact word for this offering. It is like this. There is an iron cylindrical thing of about 5-6 inches long with a diameter of about 2 inches. There is a hole in the middle, where thy fill gun powder and top it up with some mud or brick powder. And a small hole somewhere in its body just a few centimeters from the bottom, used to put the wick. When they lit the wick, ‘BANG!!!’)

This happened when I was 1 or two. I don’t know whether this is the reason, but when I happened to see an ENT doc for a throat infection, when I became adult, he told me that my throat is not symmetrical. Then I narrated this story and he said he can’t comment on that but just informed me what he just observed (clever)

About the same age, I fell down from one of my aunt’s hands. She was a teenager then. Neither my head nor the floor got broken!!

We had a Pomeranian dog that used to lie down under my cradle when I was sleeping in the cradle. Thanks buddy!. I had seen his pic and it looks like I lost it. My dad took it with his own Kodak camera, which looked like a box!

The Why Me

Why should I blog about me? I had the plan of blogging since blogs became popular. But I was either busy or lazy. And I had this habit of writing journals till 10 years ago. I used to comment on contemporary issues, books I read, people I met, the happy moments, sad things etc etc. I developed this habit when I was 11 years of age and thus I had many 200 page note books written by me. So, telling about me and my environment is not something fresh that came to me with blog-age. What is new is allowing others to read it and comment on it.

I had/have friends from different parts of the world. And some of them were interested to know about me, a little more. Some of them liked me telling some stupid things in a stupid way. Some of them became interested in my ‘spiritual talks’. Some of them came to me only when they were sad or depressed.

I wasn’t a tough fighter in my life, to achieve something, but I had a tough life with lots of bad (?) experience. Life wasn’t that easy for me. But luckily, bad experience teaches you a lot than good ones. Sharing this can be useful to somebody at some point of time, who knows? At least I don’t know……

Sometimes back, my son asked me some questions about my personal life (after marriage). Though I have answers, he is still too young to understand. Those were BIG questions from a small boy. Apart from that, he wanted to know the ‘story about me’.

I told him that I will tell everything when he grows up. But one day I developed a chest pain at night. That was the time I thought about writing about me seriously (like a diary and did not think about blogging it)…. My son love reading…….But again, there comes laziness…..

Apart from my son and the chest pain, there are some others who gave me a motivation or a push, especially Dr.Resenberg and Ms.Sanchez.

What am I going to write? I don’t know, as of now…….I might tell about me….I might talk about something…..I might comment on something…….I might share my thoughts….I might post my old mails to some of my old buddies, where it ‘has something’……or I might stop writing and become a hermit……..This moody man has different moods…….