Its Not Fair !

You asked me to lose my hair
So I can save money on shampoo
I lost hair, and you called me bald man
Now look, it’s not-it's not fair

You asked me to get older
So I will become wiser
I grew older, and you called me old man
Now look, it’s not-it's not fair

Back to Normal !

It looks like things are back to normal again. Does normal means back to insanity? Most of the times, it is better to be in the insane world where things are sane than in the sane world where things look insane.

I spent some time with a Pinoy friend of mine discussing about the political things in that country and that person even doesn’t care about it... not coz of ignorance but coz of lack of faith in the system. Sort of similar reaction from a U.S friend.

At one side of the world, monks got killed by police (Myanmar) and another side (Philippines) police got killed by terrorists!. Pakistani Cricket Captain thanked Muslims around the world for supporting them and the Pakistani Christians who actually supported Pakistan team, got hurt! Many sports persons asked this question whether they were playing for a religion or a country. And it is said that the Captain had to explain things again……

So, things were normal this week. So I thought I will accept one more friend from another country. But my wife told me sarcastically

“Please, don’t add any more friends; you can’t handle not even one”

Is that true? I don’t think so. It is not the friendship that is tough to handle but (may be) the emotions. Our emotions towards all our friends are not the same, always. That is the normality.

When I looked back to my childhood, I realized that I never had a friend to whom I talked everything. I had many friends but with each one I had a set of topics to share and there were common things we talked out commonly.

If I had the experience of handling more than one friend why can’t I handle a single friend? What does it mean? Was that a joke? What is the most common ‘trouble’ with friendships? What are the things we need to keep in mind in a friendship? Is friendship something we need to take initiative and make, or does it just happens? How can we avoid disappointments? How can we avoid getting hurt?

Lots and lots of things came into my mind….

But sorry am going to take a break……

Tuesday With Jay

One of my friends asked me why I am not writing anything in my blog these days….

Then again another one comes with the same question. Third one asked 'you have any update?'

The answer is - Well, I wasnt in a good mood.....Somebody close to me wasnt feeling well.

I thank every one of you for reading my blog….

Yesterday was a ‘blessed’ day…I recovered from that moodless state and started proceeding towards my mood with boosted enthusiasm, but at the end …………another sleepless night and got thrown away to another flavor of moodlessness. If the previous one gave anxiety and helplessness, the second one gave pain…..

My wife came back from office in a bad mood and I was sitting in a worse mood. She stared at me and asked ‘ again?” ….

I just sighed

But a blessing came in the form of a cricket match. India won the ICC Twenty20 World Cup that too defeating Pakistan. I was able to witness that moment.

But at night spiders came in my dream…. I woke up with sudden shock and a pumping headache…icing on the cake

(Look spiders, there are lots of people who loves you, why don’t you enter into there dream and bless their night?)

I woke up (with slight headache) but the day did not start as usual….I thought day might start as usual if I wait, but did not; it became worse…

Went to gym for a relief and change …cud not do much….but I did not give up…there weren’t anybody to say ‘ yes, come on’ and gimme a pat …so I said that and gave a pat to myself. ..

Back home….Took my laptop and checked mails and the first mail read:

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things.
The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others……"

– Extracts from Tuesdays with Morrie

I read it aloud and told my wife “ This is one of < >’s favorite books”

She did not listen a thing but said “look, you are possessive and …….”

I did not have any answer….

Then I thought about my friends. And there came the memory of this friend….

I met him when I was doing my first year graduation. I was doing a house to house contact program in connection with some social event. There he stands outside his house, smiling…he was wearing very thick eye glasses. He was heavily built….he wasn’t tall…though young he had a big belly….had lots of hair in his hand and chest but less hair on his head…he was a small time wrestler and rowdy during his school days..

One day he joined us and became part of our political and social organization. He was very friendly, he can mingle with any kind or person, always ready to smile and help…..he cracked jokes, he teased others…and I liked him

We became sort of friends but he had lots of other friends…..I started visiting his house and he used to visit mine…he became a family friend of mine…..we all liked him, me, my mother, sister……

Though he teased others a lot, I observed he can not tolerate somebody teasing him….

Our friendship was something different….he had two sets of friends and one with whom he used to drink and then this on the other side, a group, where I belonged, which contained young men who did not drink or smoke ( at least that time) .…I understood that his mother and father did not like the other set of friends…

His mom used to make tea for me (she sometimes used to tell her son ‘look at him and learn’ refereeing to me) ……and he used to tease me in this way ‘mom, if any tea is left, don’t worry, jay is here’….those days, I used to drink lots of tea….his uncle was the Vice President of Unilever and thus they always had a good stock of first quality tea…..his dad was a Botany Professor, who also loved plants and mom a house wife…well reputed family….all his relatives were in high positions…..he had a great name in his locality and had he stood for the elections, he would have bagged all the votes from his area…

But his parents were not satisfied with this lazy, obese boy who wasn’t good at studies who never showed any interest in taking up a job or they never had any idea what he is upto.

Days passed and this funny fear about him developed in me….I used to stay at home bare-chested sometimes. One day this guy came and said ‘wow what biceps’ ...I fell ill after a couple of days….then another day, for fun, I clutched my hands around his hip and lifted him up who then weighed 90 Kgs (198 pound)…”you are strong”…..I fell ill again…. since I wasn’t superstitious I did not bother but this happened many times and this was too much of a co-incidence!!!!

The most memorable moment about him was when my dad died. He was with me when my dad died. I still remember that hug…he holding my hand…and me telling him that I want a glass of water…..dad’s death created some technical issues at the hospital and referred for post-mortem and we had to wait till next day to get the body…..he stayed with me the whole night, without sleeping (much), though he wasn’t feeling well…

He arranged a job for me and he himself messed it up!!!…..then I took up a job and our ways got separated, I was mostly at office and with my colleagues and him with some others. But I used to visit him whenever I got a chance….

I left that city after marriage, we happened to be in this city only once….heard that he got his share of property from his parents and thus got lot of money with him….drinking became his habit….

Some years passed one day I got a call from my native place (don’t remember whether it was my sister or one of my cousins) and said “that friend of yours committed suicide”….

I don’t know why, but today I missed him too.

****
Sleepless nights gives you lots of thoughts……same if you have a headache... funny are the ways our mind work....

****

If one is in search of God, one is going away from Him……But if you don’t search for Him, you will not find Him !!!!

****

Today I remembered this story

Two monks were traveling on a rainy day. They reached a river. There they saw a beautiful girl who was struggling to cross the river. Seeing this, one of the monks carried her over to the other side. The girl thanked him and gone.

But the other monk did not talk to him at all till they reached their monastery. Then he asked

“Why did you do that? We monks are not supposed to touch women “

“But I left her there itself” answered the other monk!!!

****

Good Night Jay !!

I Miss You

The oceans between us
The miles between us
The rain between us
The Strom between us
Can not take the you from me

I will reach again
Though you leap away
You are my hope
You are my prayer
You are my peace

You filled zest
To my slothful days
In my breath, in my dreams
In my days, in my nights
All the time I miss you a lot

Rama/Adam 's Bridge

The other day, our (pseudo) secular Central Government filed an affidavit to the Supreme Court of India saying there is no proof that Rama existed. This became an issue (not the affidavit, but the project) since they have a project called ‘Sethusamudram’ which might damage the existing Rama’s Bridge . Government says, it is not manmade and hence it could not have been made by Rama, the legendary epic character who was an incarnation of the Supreme, as per the Hindu belief.

I have spoken to many people from many part of the world and in my personal experience, all of them were proud of their culture. I remember a person from China verbally attacking me when I was just kidding about they eating insects. That person told me it is part of their complex culture which I don’t understand. Though I apologized and said, I was just joking and no offence meant, it all vent in vain.

But this is not the case with India, world’s largest democratic nation. Though the country was divided into two based on religion in 1947, Indian politicians are ashamed of admitting it. India stands as a Secular nation. They were always pseudo secular showing more concern to protect the rights of the minority. But when elections come, thy consider religion, caste, creed and what not.. Politicians thought more religion than so called religious leaders.

In most of the case, these leaders where ashamed to admit that they are Hindus (if that is the case). The left always was against Hinduism. But leaders from other religion proudly said they belong to their religion. This is what is happening to a culture rich nation and there is no wonder the government took such a stand. This will also help other religious groups who want to spread their faith.

When did Rama live? He is supposed to be lived about 8,69,000 to 21,65,000 years back. What was the bridge building technology used by the then people? Dose the government has got any idea? Nope…..how will it look if something is kept under sea water this many years? No idea….

What does Ramayana says about this bridge? It says they made it using stones, there is no mention of they using cement or any other artificial/man made stuff. And as per Ramanaya, where did Rama build that bridge? From Rameswaram (India) to Sri Lanka. And is there anything like that exists now? It does. Then why is it not popularized? Coz that will provide the Hindu religion more historical roots and the whole world don’t want that to happen, especially the top nations.

Adam's Bridge a pic by NASA (courtesy NASA)

Another pic from NASA (courtesy NASA)

So, when NASA found out that there exists such a structure which is mentioned in Ramayana, which was written thousands of years ago, they named it as ‘Adam’s Bridge’. Well, why after Adam? Does it mean that Adam lived in India? Did he travel to Sri Lanka using this bridge? Did he make this bridge? So what is the idea behind naming a Bridge like structure which has a lot to do with Hindu mythology as Adam’s bridge? Well well well…… Ask NASA …..

Areal view of Rama's Bridge (courtesy Wikimedia Commons)

Too much religion is too dangerous. Long ago somebody compared religion with salt. You are eating some food and you think about salt, when? Either salt is less or it is more. If it is in correct proportion, you won’t think particularly about the salt but just enjoy the food.

Religion should be like salt, too much of it or too less of it is a problem. And a classic example is Bin Laden asking America to embrace Islam (or face the consequences!)

Six and Seven

There weren’t much memorable things that happened in the next couple of years or so. I passed 5the grade with first class. Moved on to a new division (previously was in A division) which I don’t remember, for 6th grade. Opposite to my class room was a big tamarind tree. I got some new friends here. But none of them were specially close to me since they had their own set of friends. So, my 5th grade friend remained with me as a close friend. Till that time, among my friends, I was the most studious and hence there weren’t any competition from them.

Most of our teachers came in bicycles. Many high school teachers had scooter. I did not see anybody coming in car.

For seventh grade I was put into C division. Got acquainted with some more kids and my friends remained same, (those who belonged to my original ‘I’ division). But I met one of my old buddies in this class. He was there with me during my second grade. And among the acquainted ones, one became a little more friendly than the rest of the C division kids (we moved on to different class and then met again at college and he finally became a Dentist)

One thing I remember about this seventh grade is a flood.

There was a kind of slum area half a kilo meter away from our school and that got affected during flood. Hence government used our school to temporarily accommodate them. It was like a camp. Thus we got lots of holidays :). But when we were back to school, on the first day, we were asked to wash and clean our class :(

I went to a tuition center that year. And there I met another old buddy. He wasn’t in my class but we studied in the same school when we were in second grade. He became a friend of mine. When I remember him, the first thing that comes in my mind is the smell of fish. He used to take fish daily and most of the time smelled too. His nick name was ‘monkey’

There was some pressure at the end of the exam since we were moving to high school next year. But I did not take any of these pressures seriously, either from school or from the tuition center. Parents did not bother about my studies.

There was a club and community hall half a kilometer from our house and even today, it is there. Opposite to my house lived a politician who then was the member of the legislative assembly. He also was leftist a trade union leader.

On the way to my school lived two (or three?) ministers. That means, it is the official residence of ministers. Then the city police commissioner’s office. Police training college also was very near. Then this building called ‘Residency’, with vast compound. This is called so because, when the British were ruling this place, their resident representative, a British citizen, lived here. We used to wander inside this place and throw stones at the mango trees (to get mangoes). And for some kids, this served as a safe place to hide when they bunk class.

There were ice stick venders outside the gate of our school. Though teachers ask the students to not to buy them, we always bought them. They came in different colors and flavors. The most popular type had sort of ‘pasta’ in it. These weren’t of high quality and I hardly think that they were made at hygienic conditions. But still we bought them very frequently, some even daily. There was a small shop near our school’s front entrance where we get nice jaggery-coconut candies. They were very tasty.

Another ‘establishment’ one can never forget is a small restaurant opposite to the back entrance of our school. We students used to have our lunch from there if we could not bring lunch box. None of us ordered a regular meal, though we were there to have lunch, but its most popular ‘item’ was ‘dosa’ which weren’t like home-made ones. It looked like pan cake and tasted differently. The curry supplied along with it was ‘sambar’. Then in a tray comes snacks like ‘vada’, ‘modakam’ etc…my favorite was ‘modakam’. Most of us preferred having food from this restaurant than brining from home. But what if the parents think the other way? Huh !


Dosa in that restaurant looked like this


Sambar



Dosa


Vada made of black gram



Vada made of bengal gram

We mostly played ‘konnikkali’ a ‘limping-game’ where we draw a court and using one leg to jump/leap, we need to touch the others inside the court. If that person accidentally touches his other leg on the ground, he is out. And next member from his team continues the game. Otherwise we played cricket. There weren’t any cricket ball, no bat, no stumps !!! We will make a ball using paper (or sometimes used rubber ball), use some flat piece of wood as bat and some sticks or our school trunk as wicket. Sometimes we play even hide and seek or ‘seven tiles’

I wasn’t doing great at studies, I never aggregated above 80%, but since there weren’t much competition, I always stood within the top 10 of our class, where we had about 40 students (then moved on to top 3)….I wasn’t self motivated. There weren’t any encouragement from either the teachers or parents, so I did not participate in any of the other-than-study competitions, though I could have achieved something.

At home, only change that happened was, the house owner’s wife gave birth to a baby boy (later on, one more……I met them recently, I could not identify them, one of them became a CA – like CPA)….cat died and new cat came. Then some minor quarrels between my mother and the house owner’s wife. Once I even heard about my dad’s plan to leave us and live alone, which I think was just a bluff to threaten his wife.

But again, as the four members sit together as a family, without any doubt, it wasn’t a happy family.

I entered into puberty……

I developed the habit of writing diary/journal.

Once again I passed the final exam with first class. Now time to move on to high school.

I Mean

What do I mean? I mean what does my name mean? One Penoy friend asked me this. Yes, Indian names has got some meaning.

Jaya or Jai can be translated as ‘hail’ or even ‘praise’
Ram (or Rama )- though it can be further split (in Sanskrit), one of its meaning is – the Supreme or for convenience we can call it as Lord

So, my name means – Praise the Lord!

And somebody asked me what you mean by mantra…..

Mantra is a sacred word. These were ‘heard’ or felt by ancient Rishis/ seers when they were in deep meditation. ‘OM’ is considered as the ‘mantra of mantras’ or the ‘Pranava’ Mantra or the primal sound…..it even symbolizes the entire universe….

Confused? From your name (who asked me), it looks like you are a Christian. So, look at this

“ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”

- John 1:1

Just relax and think over and over and over again about that Word

We Still Have Hope

Of late I developed a habit of avoiding political news, sometimes we can’t help. But how one can ignore some of the achievements by Indian politicians, recently?

One nuclear deal in desk, if we sign, no more nuclear tests can be conducted by India, and the US will help our further nuclear programmes carried out by our (already underpaid) scientists. If we don’t sign, face the consequences!(It is said that long ago, we got a US ‘help’ during the India-China war which helped China win the war!!!)

Strict action against immoral traffic and (poor) sex workers!!! If a man and woman get caught together, they can end up in jail for six months and pay hefty fine!! And who came out with this idea? The Indian politicians who keeps very high moral values !!!!

Some went a step further and banned condom with extra features since the purpose of the condom is just to prevent pregnancy (and may be STDs)!!!

A gangster got arrested who has only 38 cases registered in his name that includes many murder and rape (yes, now he is qualified to enter into politics). He enters a building to show the police where he hid a revolver. What happens then? He takes the revolver and fires at the inspector (who cleverly escaped, wow) who was with him and hence the other policemen fired at him and killed him on the spot , WOW!! To save who’s a**?

Intel decided to back out from their plan to have one Chip factory in India. Why? Politicians are busy solving issues and they did not get any time to frame a policy and give the approval…

We had a genius/humble/loving human as our President and our patriotic politicians did not give him another term!!!! May be he don’t have a criminal record and his educational qualifications are not in par with the Industry!!!!

Kudos to Indian politicians!

(At least we still have hope since our judiciary is very transparent. In a rape and murder case, where a man raped a kid (I think she was only 6 years old) and the kid died, the court ruled that it is not the rape that killed the girl but the bleeding (due to rupture))

In Search

The Q = I is 5cm away from P; how far is P from I?

He was in search, in search to find the answer
He went this way, he went that way
Ways leading him out, out from where he was

He asked X, he asked Y he asked even Z
All said its 5cm and gave him sort of look
He was in search, in search to find the answer

Then he saw this path, which did not look nice
A Path that did not lead him out and
He did not know where it goes

He asked the Q, in the hollow path
‘It can be miles, if I and P are humans’
“Should I cry? Or Should I smile?”

He is in search, in search to find his answer.

Psssst..Its a Secret..

As per Indian belief, there are five major secrets around us. I am not talking about the people around us who keep lots of secrets from us. Such people and secrets are in abundant in this world.

Mantrarahasya (Secret of the Mantras) – How does a mantra work? Mantras said to generate a particular vibration (depends on the mantra you chant). But that is not just the thing and it is a secret

Jananarahasya (Secret of birth) – We don’t know why we were born. Nor do we know the entire process behind it. That too as humans. There are so many other whys in the queue (why in this country? Why at this particular place? Etc etc)….so why it is so? It’s a secret

Maranarahasya (Secret of death) – Though this is the ultimate truth, that we will die one day, we don’t have the truth behind it. When? Where? At what time? How? why? And from there where will we go? ….its a ……

Prakritirahasya (Secret of the Nature) – Without any doubt, many of us might have exclaimed at some nature related things ‘ wow, how does it happen?’ …The other day there came a hurricane (Dean) and it affected Jamaica and Mexico. Though its ‘power’ faded a little, it then gained before reaching Mexico (scientists might have some ‘theory’ , thanks)….but why it came to that place? You can ask a hundred beautiful ‘why’s if you are open to nature…..but it is a………..

Rajarahasya (Secret of ruling) – The creation of this universe and its ruling. It’s a big secret

Since all these are secrets, how can I reveal it?

The Sky Is So High !

You have got a best friend?
………………….

Today I saw/heard somebody telling somebody else, ‘you are the only friend I have got’….. that person stressed the word ‘friend’….Later, I asked the other person ‘ do you feel the same emotion towards that person?’ Since the person who received my question started thinking, I said, ok, I know…..(I know them both, in person)
………………….

Some might ask who is a best friend…it depends on the person who considers who his/her best friend is…

For me, a best friend is not a friend of mine who possess all the best qualities a human can possess but a person, from a group of friends, with whom I am most comfortable with…who I can easily get along with ….somebody gives a ‘feeling good’ ….

It may not always be a permanent relationship. It can change.. During childhood we might have a best friend and when we grow up, we might get separated due to various situations in our life….like continuing higher education at different places and then taking up jobs at different countries etc etc

When does that relationship becomes so beautiful? When both consider the other person as their best friend…but do it happen always? Nope. Sometimes it happens and in most of the cases it does not happen. But it does not matter here, for me, as my thought for today is in a different direction.

This is not an exclusive thing that happens when being (only) with your best friend….(then? …) But that is one of such beautiful moments and it has a lot to do with your present and even your future…..these moments has got a long lasting effect.

Don’t feel like agreeing with me?

If friendship moments gives you a ‘feeling good’, well, that moment is worth in your life. At present, I am not telling why it is so. You don’t have any reason to believe me; also, you don’t have any reason to disbelieve me.

Why?

Because the sky is so high!!!!