Lies and a BOOOO

What is a lie? Webster’s dictionary defines a lie as:

“A statement that deviates from or perverts the truth”

Who lies?

Every one of us. We all lied at some point of time from the general definition of lie. If we tell the partial truth, it’s a lie. If we gave a misleading info, that’s a lie…..

So, the world is full of liars. Is that the right classification?

No, if it was very much part of humans, like we walk with our legs, why it has been discussed? why some religions and its scriptures directly addresses this issue and teach us lying is bad?

We also keep different standards for different set/category of people as far as lying is concerned. We expect the religious and spiritual people to be more truthful and we don’t expect politicians to be truthful (politicians and lawyers are two sets of people who can lie and get away without any punishment !!!)

Why do we lie in the first place? Modern psychology and psychologists say that the process of telling lies start at childhood, at the age of 4 to 5, may be. The intention of the child is not to lie. But that is the age when a child gets familiarized with words and language. And a child tries different words or phrase. Then he/she realize that language can be used to manipulate situations. Then they tries one or two of such ‘skill’ to escape from some trouble or situations. If it worked, then the child keeps it handy. People mostly lie when they are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth.

But when human grow, we learn about the dos’ and don’ts and good and bad and stuff like that. That is a turning point. And there one gets a choice too. Some people continue to be a liar and some not.

It also has something to do with family history or genetics. This doesn’t mean that a liar’s child will be a liar for sure and vice versa… but to say that apart from environmental factors, biological factors also plays a role.

And what are the types of liars?

There is no such strict classification available. There are pathological liars, occasional liars, professional liars, compulsive liars which again referred as habitual liars or chronic liars……
Based on the situation, liars change from one to another. But in general, the pathological and compulsive liars are the liars who are ‘popular’, or proper liars.

A pathological liar

Usually a person who lies persistently to get their things done and they don’t care about how others are affected by it. Those who did not chose 'to-not-to -lie',( after that childhood stage where they understood good and bad ) belong to this category. Some sort of mental abnormality also can lead a person to become pathological liar. These type of people are goal-getters and tries to achieve it at any cost (lie) and thy don’t even give it a damn about the rights of others. A pathological liar is often manipulator, who is cunning and self-centered.

Compulsive liar

For these people, lying is part of their life, just like eating and drinking. He/she might buy a pen for 50 bucks and when you ask how much he/she paid, he/she might say either 45 (most probable is a lesser price) or 55 but not 50…

(When I wrote this I remember one such person and situation. It is their habit to lie.
The situation was, he asked his son to pick him up from the railway station when he arrives with his wife. Son reaches the station a little late so he did not know when exactly the train arrived. But when I saw all of them together, I ask:

“What time did the train come?”

“5 am” said the gentleman and I gives a suspicious look and hence his wife says

“no, he JUST said that, but the train actually came only at 5.30”

I know that person very well, and hence I knew that he had a clear idea when the train came. I know his wife very well hence I knew that she don’t want to call her husband a liar in front of me.)

For a compulsive liar, that is the way to respond to any question. .for them telling a lie is more easy than telling the truth. A true compulsive liar is not that cunning as a pathological liar. But in many case, we see a mixture and not a 100% type. The person I referred is such a man. He is very cunning and he lies without any reason.

Types of lies

Bold – very obvious lies like somebody stands with a perfume spray in his hand and the room full of smell and the person says no, I did not spray (seriously, and not as a joke)

Omission - deliberately omit something from the conversation to mislead

Lie to children - "If you don’t go to sleep right now, the bogeyman will come and eat you" kind. We try such tricks to kids to make them eat, sleep obey etc but that too is classified as a lie.

White lie – harmless lie. Well intentional untruth. A friend of ours (not close enough) asks how his/her dress is and we might say good, even if we don’t like it.

Perjury – one example is giving false statement in the court , it’s a crime and not just a simple lie.

Bluffing - ‘yeah I did that’ kind of bluff where as its not done by him/her and taking the credit of something. It is also called Plagiarism, but that too is a lie.

Emergency Lies– sometimes we may have to save our best friend from a situation and even lie to his/her parents saying, I was with him/her and he did not do that (not talking about crimes etc. but may be a situation like smoking, having a drink etc)

Misleading – intentionally

Exaggeration – “ I saw a cat as big as a dog” kinda thing

Jocose – These are used in Stories, parables, jokes, pranks , humor etc. Some pple , including St. Augustine believes that these are actually not lies.

Then we can see lots of false profiles in social network and other area of internet, we can see lots of false curriculum – vitae , lots of ads in the TV, endorsed by professional people saying they used it and got result, even giving a reply like ‘ ok, I will look into it right away’ to our client just to console and not looking into it is a lie…

How bad is a lie?

* Many a times, to cover up a lie, one need to say a series of other lies…
* Breach of trust – in personal life, professional life, social life…
* Break ups in relationships. Lying in relationships is a big issue and is one of the reasons for the breakups. Now some Christian dating service providers warns against pathological liars and asks to avoid dating with them (they provide tips to find out pathological liars)
* Losing integrity
* Lies by political heads can even create a war

What do religions say about lie?

Most of the religions ( why did I say ‘most of the’? Coz some religions permits to lie on certain situations. Like, to save one’s life (Islam) or to avoid evil eye (a rich man can tell a lie about his wealth to avoid evil eye - Torah /Jewish )are against telling lies and in Christianity, they warn with strong words like:

…….. all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death'

- Revelations 21:8

So, how bad it is to lie? Do any scripture mention about it. I think in all religions, there are some guidelines in this regard, as of now, I dont have a clear idea.

So, does it mean that we should always tell the TRUTH? Should a doctor tell his patient directly and boldly that he/she is suffering from leukemia or brain tumor?

As per Manu Smruthi,

"Sathyam bruyaath, priyam bruyaath, Na bruyaath Sathyam Apriyam."

(Speak the truth, speak what is pleasing. But don’t speak truth that is unpleasant….this also means don’t tell untruth just coz its pleasing)

If a lie can save an innocent man’s life, may be its good. A lie can become very serious depending on the degree of lying.

Words and expressions have got its meanings, so even if it’s a white lie, use it wisely…….. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO