Migraine

I don’t remember exactly when I developed my first headache; it started during childhood. But I was about 25 when my headache officially got confirmed by a Neurologist as Migraine.

I used to read a lot of science including medical stuffs/headache related and hence I knew that it was migraine. But I never consulted a doc for treating my headache till I visited that Neurologist. After that I did see some. During childhood, nobody cared to take me to a doc when I had headache.

So, what is migraine? It is the most popular headache in this world. The rich, poor, doctors, teachers, students, musicians, athletes, …..all types of people from all over the world are put up with it. About 30 million people in the U.S suffer from it (no idea whether such a statistics available for my country) with women being affected three times more than men.

I read somewhere it is a neurological disease. And don’t agree to that. It is not a disease but a defect. There are lots of theories behind it but no one knows what exactly is the cause and cure, since there are so many causes and so far no cure available.

But it is good that day by day new and new research is happening and we get some results. If the research is carried out by some pharmaceutical company, they come out with some new drug….If it is sponsored by some other body, the result might show the color of that body. And if it is carried out by some genuine body out of humanitarian grounds, well, it might come out with some facts behind it.

My mom was the first migraineur I happened to see. I spent a lot of time in my life trying to observe, study, and understand this headache….not from a medical point of view. I had taken Allopathic and Homoeopathic medicines.

Some doctors gave me false assurance that migraine can be cured and thus I took lots of medicine for it. Under that neurologist, I took so many drugs for about six months continuously and then it went up to one year. And finally I realized that I wasted all that money and time. But during that treatment period, there weren’t much migraine attacks since my doc’s approach was preventing migraine.

What is migraine again?

Migraine is classified under vascular headache. And it has a lot to do with the dilation and constriction of blood vessels in our head. When these vessels enlarges (usually till to a point where it can not stretch any longer) beyond normality, we get migraine.

Migraine can be broadly classified into two, viz,

Migraine with Aura : Sufferers gets a visual indication like blurred/double vision, golden flies etc before an episode.

Migraine without Aura : Most common. No visual indication. I belong to this group

There are some other variations of migraine. But I don’t know anybody suffering from that (I personally know at least 7 people with migraine). Though I have read about Basilar Type Migraine which can even be fatal, never heard about somebody died of migraine.

Migraine is mostly one sided headache, not always. Sometimes it starts from the eyes/temple and spreads back. Migraine gives a pulsating/throbbing headache and nausea. Gets aggravated by physical movement/activity, light (especially florescent) and sound – photophobia and phonophobia. Some times we might feel vertigo. I prefer to crash out in a dark room. Sometimes sitting position gives a better feeling than lying down. May be coz of less flow of blood to head. In general migraine has a family history/hereditary.

What causes all this? Why all people are not facing this problem? Why only some?

It is due to chemical imbalance in our brain/body.

There are some chemicals in our body that help communication between nerves. These chemicals are known as Neurotransmitters. It is said that, the imbalance of neurotransmitters is the cause of migraine.

I read somewhere that in some people, the number of neurotransmitter receptors is more and hence it creates another type of imbalance in such people which is the cause for migraine in them.

The most important neurotransmitters of the Central Nervous System (CNS) in connection with migraine are Serotonin and Norepinephrine. These chemicals have a role in controlling the size of the blood vessels, apart from other functions.

So, migraineurs need more of these chemicals. For that the best option is eating well than popping a pill. That is why at least some doctors think in this direction at least in the U.S. and west. Some even came out with patented nutritional supplements for this purpose. I think it won’t become popular till some pharma giant starts producing it.

If it is these neurotransmitters that cause all these problems, why some get migraine when they eat particular food?

There are lots of things which can cause a chemical imbalance in our body. Number one is food allergy. Then toxic waste within our body, internal inflammation, poor absorption of nutrients, poor metabolism, food/chemicals that can deplete the level of these neurotransmitters etc etc…..

So, a bad/not so healthy stomach is one of the reasons, stress is another big reason which produces stress hormones and there by causing an imbalance. Physical exertion including too much sex (in male), mental exertion and stress, and lots of similar stuffs can cause a chemical imbalance.

Hormonal change during menstrual period is another reason for migraine in females.

We need to provide enough nutrients so that brain can produce enough of these chemicals, by eating properly and wisely. This means avoiding those foods which can trigger a migraine and including those foods which can help in the production of these chemicals.


Main Trigger Factors

Food allergy and sensitivity towards certain food and chemicals
Dehydration
Irregular eating time/ missing a meal
Change in sleep-wake cycle
Too much sleep and lack of sleep
Loud sound
Too much exposure to sun
Inhalation of some chemicals and smells (like paint), which are serotonin depleting and vaso-constrictive.
Bowl problems
Hormone change
Cold or Sinusitis
Change in blood sugar level
Malnutrition (especially magnesium deficiency)
Change in atmospheric pressure / stormy weather condition
Anxiety/stress/physical excretion/too much sex

Prevention

Avoid food that already gave you enough migraine (need to observe – keep a food diary)
Eat balanced food with enough nutrients/ take supplement
Exercise regularly but moderately
Practice yoga/meditation or some breathing technique to control stress (and there by stress hormones). - I have personally benefited by this
It is said that cold water shower/head bath helps (not when there is a headache, but otherwise)

There are lots of drugs available. That is beyond the scope of this blog.

Food to avoid

Have an eye on what you eat. If you noticed that a particular food gave you migraine many times, avoid it. Or better note down the food you suspect and talk to your doc.

Here are some proven trigger foods, in many people.

Red Wine
Monosodium Glutamate or MSG
Cheese
Chocolate
Nuts – especially peanut
Over ripened fruits
Tobacco
Fermented food
Alcoholic drinks (beer included)
Very strong coffee

There is a very loooooooooooooooooong list that can scare and we might think ‘ oh, then what will I eat?’ . No need to panic. Just avoid the ones that already gave migraine, coz, most of the time, it depends on person to person.

Eating a few peanuts never gives me a migraine, for example. And eating lot if it gave migraine many times. Sometimes food had indirect effect. That is, we might get indigestion, the food waste gets fermented and thus releases toxins.


Food to include

An Apple keeps ……. Yes, fresh apple is good for you, including pineapple
A couple of almonds per day
Banana, carrot
Beef, Pork, Chicken, lamb, liver – eat fresh
Watermelon, cucumber
Oats, dates, barley, corn
Milk - if you are not allergic
Pears, sweet potato, spinach
Broccoli and cabbage, Lettuce
Brown rice
Fresh lobster and mackerel

This also is a long list.

There are some food supplement available in many countries like U.S. (not in India) which are targeted for migraineurs. It mainly contains:

Vit-C, Niacin, Vit-B6, Magnesium, Folic Acid, Calcium, Copper and some ‘proprietary blend’

My personal experience

When I was under migraine specific drugs like ergotamine, things became worst after every attack. Migraine became more and more strong. And my present doc straightaway asked me to stop that, who understands migraine well because he too used to get it.

What helped me to control my migraine is regular exercise, drinking adequate water, avoiding some specific trigger foods, and then a wonderful breathing technique called ‘Sudarshan Kriya’.

If I break rules, sometimes I get a migraine. But now, things are under better control.

Conclusion

Migraine is a vascular headache, meaning, a headache caused by the enlargement of blood vessels in our head. This happens because of the imbalance of neurotransmitters like Serotonin and Norepinephrine.

And finally the disclaimer part, I just shared some of my experience, thoughts and what I read about migraine. This is not an authentic/medical article on migraine.

It is always better to consult your doc than treating all by yourself !!!

OldMan and the Moon

October -11-2007

Oldman did not sleep well yesterday night. So he was very tired the whole day. He looked at his wish list for that day. He was having a strange wish list. He did not know when the items in the list will change. He read the first two things from the list

Hummer – 2 nos
Air ticket to Greece – 4 to 5
…
…
…

He checked his wallet and bank accounts and sighed. Then he kept his head ahead and smiled. He remembered a Gospel “ Nothing is impossible for God”.

Then he went to gym. He thought he need to keep fit to take delivery of a sports utility vehicle. He wore a tight T-shirt and entered the gym. There were many young guys. They looked at his fit looking body. Old man did not know whether they drooled or not. But he told them:

“Sons, if you want to keep young, be young at heart. For that you need the company of young people. Not just young but young and active people, who can dance sing, jump, climb artificial wall, play badminton, swim, moon gaze….”

“What? Moon gaze? You mean star gaze?” asked one of them

“Yes son, its moon gazing… moon gazing is very good for keeping young. Moon is astrologically connected to our mind and those who are connected to moon are dreamers.. Dreamers can at least dream that they are young even when they are getting older…gotcha?”

“But we already are young…” another one

“Then you grow old and get the company of young ones….pssssst, son, don’t tell this to anybody”

“Thanks” they all replied.

Oldman finished his workout and he felt really good. He went out and walked a little….some thoughts flashed in his mind and he became happy.

He thanked God and then he thanked his friends and he said to himself “This is not the time to think about death……Good Night”

The night became good!!! There came lots of stars in the sky...and the moon too!!!

Open Sesame !!

Q: Which is the most difficult thing to open?

A: Closed minds and hearts.

Right Time!

It is said that there is no wrong time for doing a right thing. If one feels like doing a right (right and wrong are relative, I know, I use the word ‘right’ in a generally/socially/rationally accepted way) thing, just do it now. If one thinks over it again and again, who knows what will happen?

There is a good example/story in Mahabharata.

Karna is known for his generosity. One day, while he was taking bath, a man from a priestly family asked for alms. He was holding a vessel in his left hand (since he was a king, it must be expensive) and he gave that to the man.

In India, one is not supposed to do that with his left hand, that too a King. The man got surprised and asked why he did that. Then Karna said :

“By the time I bring it to my right hand, what if I lose the intention of giving?”

The End….

Dr.Jay's Successful Disappointment !

What do I wanted to become in my life? Yes, my profession…

Forget about childhood days. If there is nobody to guide and we are not exceptional, there might come so many options, as a child…

In this regard, here, in India, we need to have an idea once we clear the 10th grade. And according that one need to choose ones 11th grade then take the entrance exams for higher studies etc.

I wasn’t an outstanding student, though I came within the first 2-3-4 ranks in my class. That just happened because other students weren’t good at studies (There was class strength of 40-50 students). But I was a ‘first class’ student from first grade.

One of my uncles (my dad’s eldest brother) wished to ‘make’ his children (three) a doctor. He had enough money to support the studies. But his daughters did not study well. Since I was the one who successfully came out with first class from the start, he was interested in me. And science was my favorite subject. Sometimes I even scored a 90% in science, not always. This I achieved without exceptional brains or any support from my family, friends or teachers…

Computer science wasn’t a popular thing that time. I haven’t even seen any computer that time. The most common choices for ‘not-bad-at-studies’ students were, Medicine, Engineering, CA/CPA, and Law

So, after tenth, I decided to build my career as a doctor. That uncle said he has got some plans and hence to proceed with my wish. I too was happy. But I did not get the marks I expected for the final exam conducted by that Board. There was this option for going for a re-valuation. But many people discouraged me and told me that I might lose an academic year and hence continue with my studies and study better next time. But I was very much sure that I did not get the marks I deserved. Usually it was me who used to score better marks than my sister, from first grade till 10th grade final exam, but this time, she got better scores!! (one reason could be my bad handwriting)

But I had enough marks to get which course I wanted. So I did not try in many colleges, just put an application in a college where I wanted to study and waited. Yes, finally I was called and thus happily joined for science. In this course, apart from languages, I need to study, Physics, chemistry, Botany and Zoology (which was then called as the II group). But if anyone wants to try engineering as a career, he needs to take the I group where they study Math instead of our biology.

And we, the II group students had the option to study Math as additional subject (study privately and give the exam), since it does not have any labs. So that they can appear for both medicine and engineering entrance exams. Most of my classmates took Math, not me.

I was too much into college politics that time. And till 10th grade, I studied in Malayalam medium, which was my mother tongue and local language. Here from 11th grade, we need to study everything in English. I did not get a shock to see the big text books printed in English coz of two reasons. One, I liked English and two, I have seen these text books three years ago when my sister studied.

Physics was one of my favorite subjects. But I managed to fail in the first test given by my college (hehehe). I bunked classes and attended political meetings. I got involved into college strikes and protests. I did not attend any classes if the professors did not take attendance. And in many cases, I attended counting the attendance so that I will get a minimum. But I hardly attended any English class (English is one of the subjects where most of the failed ones fail since there is drastic difference between the 10th and 11th grade syllabus). But science teachers came out with a rule that if we don’t attend the theory classes, we won’t be allowed in the labs. So, I attended most of the science classes, usually were boring and useless. This happened that way coz, all these lecturers and professors used to give private tuitions at home and they preferred that than teaching at this government college.

But I started working on my physics (physics syllabus also wasn’t continuation of 10th grade but was tough). And I decided to come out with a first class here too.

My family was going through a financial crisis that time. So, there weren’t any money available for Entrance coaching classes (after 12th we need to take an entrance exam to get admission in medical colleges. And most of the students who really wish to pursue their medical studies started attending the entrance exam coaching classes from the start of 11th grade). That wasn’t a big issue since that uncle was there. I was sure that he might help me when I move to 12th grade or when I clear the exam.

Bad luck. That uncle died all of a sudden. (One night he came back , took his shower, and had dinner did his prayers and sat on a chair. And then he did now wake up).

But there goes my medical dream!!!

He had told me his plan. He will help me in the start. Then he will look for a girl from a rich family and then ‘fix’ my marriage with that rich man’s girl (who must be a dump I think…hehehe) in such a way that they will sponsor my studies and once I am of age, I should marry that girl. WOW ! what a brain!. I wasn’t interested in this, but I was sure that he will help me out, someway.

Now I lost all my hope. I did not put any extra effort. I cleared 12th grade and I had enough marks to take the Entrance exam. But that time, our family’s financial condition was such that at the end or the month, there weren’t even a 10 bucks currency in my dad’s wallet. And to add a colorful feather to the hat, I developed some strange eye allergy. Eyes became red and I felt like there is sand inside it. It itched and became watery. Two or three eye docs failed to cure it and it even affected my studies. (Finally, a retired professor doc cured it)

I was very disappointed. De-motivated. Frustrated. I could take the entrance exam next year also, if I wanted. Or even after three years, after finishing my graduation in science (taking either physics, chemistry, botany or zoology as main).

Since I did not see much things happening, I decided to quit science itself. Studying commerce/accounting was the next option to get a job as an accountant etc. And thus for graduation I took commerce as my subject with Accountancy as main. I studied it privately without joining any college. Means, Enroll for the course, just study in whatever way I want, pay the exam fee and take the university exam with other college students.

But I kept on reading science. I took science magazines and books from library. And whenever I visited hospitals (to see somebody), I used to sigh and I got a sort of feeling.

I was not at all interested in these commerce ‘stuffs’. Accountancy looked ‘stupid’ at the start. And the main problem I faced here is, the degree level was the continuation of those commerce and accountancy of the 11th and 12th grade and I never had any idea about what even debit and credit was.

Then I went for tuition for the very basic things and that tutor was hopeless. Since that guy was known to me, I attended the classes as some obligation and I paid fee. (Yes, one need learn to say NO when it is needed). This went for some months and then I stopped his ‘accounting basic’ class, by just stop going. He might have waited for me for many days.

Failed in accountancy in the first year! I wasn’t used to failures. Disappointment again, then regrets for taking this stream for my graduation.

I started giving tuitions for school children to earn my own pocket money. Another reason was, my dad bought me a moped (small scooter like thing) and I put forward a condition that he doesn’t have to give me money for the fuel. (That time, my parents retired from jobs and thus we had enough money (since they were in government service, they had gratuity, provident fund, pension etc).

But the worst thing was politics and social work. It was like a fulltime work. Most of the time I was out doing this and that and I hardly studied anything. Rest of the time I laid up with migraine.

Then during second year, my dad passed away. Thus my responsibility-being the only male member of the family- increased. But his death created some unwanted issues. The death certificate came with wrong spelling. Then it became a mess. Then to get the insurance money, it was another fight. Thus solving those things became my main job during second year. And it took months. But I cleared the exams. During some of the exams, I was suffering from migraine.

During my graduation years, lots of BIG political and social event happened where I was involved. It really took a toll on my studies.

Finally, the final exam came. And I wasn’t prepared at all. I thought I will give the exams next year.

But the problem with me is I like writing exams and writing an exam would give us some practical experience. So I took all the exams and waited for a ‘fail’.

Unfortunately I cleared all the exams, but with indecent marks!!! (Except for accountancy where I got a first class). That was one of the moments in my life- may be the only one- where a success gave me disappointment. So, I thought I will make up all these things when I do my Post Graduation.

Did I? That’s another story…..

If any youngster is reading this, my advice is not to follow my path. Have a dream and work for it. Don’t worry, it will come true…..I will pray for you!!

Love and Sixth Sense !

Love is a positive emotion. But the strange thing with love is it makes you weak!! Don’t take it literally but think it over….It can cause longing and longing can cause sort of pain. And this pain is something different! Sometimes at least for some people, it’s a pleasant and sweet pain.

Anyway, having a loving environment in your house generates a positive energy in your house. If you visit a house where most of the time it is quarrel what is happening, you get a negative ‘feel’….. a sort of unhappy feeling…some discomfort…... So, if the humans who live there can’t generate the emotion ‘love’ towards each other, or when somebody step into his or her own house and then loses that emotion (thinking, “don’t know what cud be the menu for today’s fight”!!!), what can be done?

There come pets. We can have pets and love them. Thus we can bring the emotion love into our home.

True love creates an emotional attachment. Sometimes one can even feel the loved one… read their mind….. This not only applies to humans but with pets also. I would share an incident.

One of my cousins had a cat as pet. She was a spinster till she died. She really loved that cat and vice versa. I have personally seen some dramatic scenes. One day the cat comes from outside, she spreads her hands and the cat jumps into her hands. Then she asks “where did you go? What happened?” …etc and cat answers her with a “ Meaow”….

One major difference between a cat and a dog is, a cat connects itself to the house and its environment and not to the humans living there. So, if you ask a cat to follow you, outside the house, it hardly follows. I am not talking about cats that live in closed environments like apartments. We used to live in independent houses where we had land and the cat goes outside as and when it wants to go. It was always free.

Cousin had to shift the house. So, when they actually locked up the house the cat was out and they could not find him (was a boy).

My cousin became very sad (she was living with her brother’s family and when brother moved, there weren’t any choice and other family members weren’t ready to wait for the cat to come!!!). The new place was about 4 kilometers (abt 2.5 miles) away from her old place, and they started living there. My cousin missed this cat very badly and it even affected her health and she started losing her weight.

Weeks later, one day she heard a “Meaow’ and there comes her cat……it traveled all this distance to find his master…no need to say how happy she became! And then she recovered even without medicine!!!

(I asked the cat “ Man, how did you do this? Then the cat answered “ Psssssst, its sixth sense..”, with a wink!)

OMG !

The other day I happened to hear a movie dialog :

“ …this is not the right time for a fight, you pray to Gods …..”

So, how many Gods are there in this universe?

Number-wise I don’t know, but there are two types of Gods.

First – Who is the reason for all these creation, omnipotent and omnipresent. Without this force knowing not even a microbe moves. Whose presence is there everywhere and in everything. Humans are also created by this force. Very loving….. Not at all popular.

Second – Man made. They are present in places of worship. They have particular religion which again created by man. They are partial to their followers. Followers can enjoy heaven and others will be cursed and sent to hell. Cause for many fights, riots and terror ………….. VERY POPULAR!

Booooooo....I possess !!!

If somebody is possessive about friends, what should he (or she ...I am using 'he' for convenience) do? If you had a bad experience with a friendship, what do you do? Have more friends or run away from further friendships?

Where do I stand? Am I the right person to assess myself?

Well, looking at oneself is always good, which many of us don’t do. If we don’t know what we are, then things will get more complicated.

I am not a typical possessive person who can’t be reasoned, who hesitates to share and very jealous. I did not face any such problem when I was a child or a teenager (it starts at childhood and troubles more at teenage). I also understand that it is not completely up to me to decide whether I am possessive or not.

But in friendship, in my life, some friends became closer to me. Means, I considered them closer to me (not the other way). It doesn’t mean that they did not like me and I was after them. For them, may be it’s just a friendship and for me I liked them a little more.

In such friendships, when a “quarrel like” thing happens or a breakage happens, a person like me gets more hurt (if a friendship is not built on trust, there are more possibilities for such situations).

So based on that experience, my opinion is, it is always better to have more friends. When one fully depends on a particular friend to meet all his needs, he is in trouble. It is always better to discuss many topics with different friends than talking everything with a particular friend (if both are in sync, there is nothing wrong in doing so, but here the issue is a 40-60 or 30-70 or 20-80 friendship).

The advantage of having many friends is that different persons might have different likes (and dislikes) so we can share many things with many friends. If one of them leaves you (due to work, marriage etc) you won’t get completely drained.

So if somebody had some issues with one friend and got really hurt, that doesn’t mean that he/she should avoid making new friends. It doesn’t mean that he should avoid people. And in many cases, friendship just happens.

Just because all humans are nature’s product, are we all same? (not talking at spiritual or theological level). No is my answer. Many of us might have an experience of feeling uncomfortable when we see some people, when some people stand with us in the lift (especially when our aura’s overlap)……people are different and some people are not much emotionally attached with their friends, its their birth nature. In the same way we feel some people as special. Some people fall in love at first sight……. Since friends are also humans (here in this context), this applies in friendships also; for some, some people are not just another human.

When I was hospitalized long ago, mostly it was my friends who stayed with me and not my relatives. I sat as a by-stander for one of my cousins whenever he underwent his eye operation (many times) why because we were more friends than relatives.

There is one writer, Anais Nin, who talked about friends in a beautiful way:

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Another Pain

Today was another day which reminded me that life is unpredictable.

Yesterday I thought I will start from where I left. But today I was occupied with some unexpected things. But I am not disappointed. It was a good day today, though it did not went as I planned. It was a pleasant day. A day becomes pleasant when somebody close to you sits with you and ask ‘ ok what you want me to tell’….and may be that’s why our grannies used to ask the kids ‘ ok, which story you want to hear today?’... …..but I haven’t even seen my grannies.

Months ago, one of my friends came to me with a ‘relationship’ issue and asked some advice. She wasn’t looking for someone to listen to her. She asked for some suggestion and it looked like she was under emotional pain which only heart can understand. Today I saw her opening her heart. And it was like writing with her blood that coming from the heart! Today she proved that she doesn’t need my advice.

She said so many things which I wanted to tell. So if I say similar things, I personally won’t feel comfortable.

Its Not Fair !

You asked me to lose my hair
So I can save money on shampoo
I lost hair, and you called me bald man
Now look, it’s not-it's not fair

You asked me to get older
So I will become wiser
I grew older, and you called me old man
Now look, it’s not-it's not fair

Back to Normal !

It looks like things are back to normal again. Does normal means back to insanity? Most of the times, it is better to be in the insane world where things are sane than in the sane world where things look insane.

I spent some time with a Pinoy friend of mine discussing about the political things in that country and that person even doesn’t care about it... not coz of ignorance but coz of lack of faith in the system. Sort of similar reaction from a U.S friend.

At one side of the world, monks got killed by police (Myanmar) and another side (Philippines) police got killed by terrorists!. Pakistani Cricket Captain thanked Muslims around the world for supporting them and the Pakistani Christians who actually supported Pakistan team, got hurt! Many sports persons asked this question whether they were playing for a religion or a country. And it is said that the Captain had to explain things again……

So, things were normal this week. So I thought I will accept one more friend from another country. But my wife told me sarcastically

“Please, don’t add any more friends; you can’t handle not even one”

Is that true? I don’t think so. It is not the friendship that is tough to handle but (may be) the emotions. Our emotions towards all our friends are not the same, always. That is the normality.

When I looked back to my childhood, I realized that I never had a friend to whom I talked everything. I had many friends but with each one I had a set of topics to share and there were common things we talked out commonly.

If I had the experience of handling more than one friend why can’t I handle a single friend? What does it mean? Was that a joke? What is the most common ‘trouble’ with friendships? What are the things we need to keep in mind in a friendship? Is friendship something we need to take initiative and make, or does it just happens? How can we avoid disappointments? How can we avoid getting hurt?

Lots and lots of things came into my mind….

But sorry am going to take a break……

Tuesday With Jay

One of my friends asked me why I am not writing anything in my blog these days….

Then again another one comes with the same question. Third one asked 'you have any update?'

The answer is - Well, I wasnt in a good mood.....Somebody close to me wasnt feeling well.

I thank every one of you for reading my blog….

Yesterday was a ‘blessed’ day…I recovered from that moodless state and started proceeding towards my mood with boosted enthusiasm, but at the end …………another sleepless night and got thrown away to another flavor of moodlessness. If the previous one gave anxiety and helplessness, the second one gave pain…..

My wife came back from office in a bad mood and I was sitting in a worse mood. She stared at me and asked ‘ again?” ….

I just sighed

But a blessing came in the form of a cricket match. India won the ICC Twenty20 World Cup that too defeating Pakistan. I was able to witness that moment.

But at night spiders came in my dream…. I woke up with sudden shock and a pumping headache…icing on the cake

(Look spiders, there are lots of people who loves you, why don’t you enter into there dream and bless their night?)

I woke up (with slight headache) but the day did not start as usual….I thought day might start as usual if I wait, but did not; it became worse…

Went to gym for a relief and change …cud not do much….but I did not give up…there weren’t anybody to say ‘ yes, come on’ and gimme a pat …so I said that and gave a pat to myself. ..

Back home….Took my laptop and checked mails and the first mail read:

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things.
The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others……"

– Extracts from Tuesdays with Morrie

I read it aloud and told my wife “ This is one of < >’s favorite books”

She did not listen a thing but said “look, you are possessive and …….”

I did not have any answer….

Then I thought about my friends. And there came the memory of this friend….

I met him when I was doing my first year graduation. I was doing a house to house contact program in connection with some social event. There he stands outside his house, smiling…he was wearing very thick eye glasses. He was heavily built….he wasn’t tall…though young he had a big belly….had lots of hair in his hand and chest but less hair on his head…he was a small time wrestler and rowdy during his school days..

One day he joined us and became part of our political and social organization. He was very friendly, he can mingle with any kind or person, always ready to smile and help…..he cracked jokes, he teased others…and I liked him

We became sort of friends but he had lots of other friends…..I started visiting his house and he used to visit mine…he became a family friend of mine…..we all liked him, me, my mother, sister……

Though he teased others a lot, I observed he can not tolerate somebody teasing him….

Our friendship was something different….he had two sets of friends and one with whom he used to drink and then this on the other side, a group, where I belonged, which contained young men who did not drink or smoke ( at least that time) .…I understood that his mother and father did not like the other set of friends…

His mom used to make tea for me (she sometimes used to tell her son ‘look at him and learn’ refereeing to me) ……and he used to tease me in this way ‘mom, if any tea is left, don’t worry, jay is here’….those days, I used to drink lots of tea….his uncle was the Vice President of Unilever and thus they always had a good stock of first quality tea…..his dad was a Botany Professor, who also loved plants and mom a house wife…well reputed family….all his relatives were in high positions…..he had a great name in his locality and had he stood for the elections, he would have bagged all the votes from his area…

But his parents were not satisfied with this lazy, obese boy who wasn’t good at studies who never showed any interest in taking up a job or they never had any idea what he is upto.

Days passed and this funny fear about him developed in me….I used to stay at home bare-chested sometimes. One day this guy came and said ‘wow what biceps’ ...I fell ill after a couple of days….then another day, for fun, I clutched my hands around his hip and lifted him up who then weighed 90 Kgs (198 pound)…”you are strong”…..I fell ill again…. since I wasn’t superstitious I did not bother but this happened many times and this was too much of a co-incidence!!!!

The most memorable moment about him was when my dad died. He was with me when my dad died. I still remember that hug…he holding my hand…and me telling him that I want a glass of water…..dad’s death created some technical issues at the hospital and referred for post-mortem and we had to wait till next day to get the body…..he stayed with me the whole night, without sleeping (much), though he wasn’t feeling well…

He arranged a job for me and he himself messed it up!!!…..then I took up a job and our ways got separated, I was mostly at office and with my colleagues and him with some others. But I used to visit him whenever I got a chance….

I left that city after marriage, we happened to be in this city only once….heard that he got his share of property from his parents and thus got lot of money with him….drinking became his habit….

Some years passed one day I got a call from my native place (don’t remember whether it was my sister or one of my cousins) and said “that friend of yours committed suicide”….

I don’t know why, but today I missed him too.

****
Sleepless nights gives you lots of thoughts……same if you have a headache... funny are the ways our mind work....

****

If one is in search of God, one is going away from Him……But if you don’t search for Him, you will not find Him !!!!

****

Today I remembered this story

Two monks were traveling on a rainy day. They reached a river. There they saw a beautiful girl who was struggling to cross the river. Seeing this, one of the monks carried her over to the other side. The girl thanked him and gone.

But the other monk did not talk to him at all till they reached their monastery. Then he asked

“Why did you do that? We monks are not supposed to touch women “

“But I left her there itself” answered the other monk!!!

****

Good Night Jay !!

I Miss You

The oceans between us
The miles between us
The rain between us
The Strom between us
Can not take the you from me

I will reach again
Though you leap away
You are my hope
You are my prayer
You are my peace

You filled zest
To my slothful days
In my breath, in my dreams
In my days, in my nights
All the time I miss you a lot

Rama/Adam 's Bridge

The other day, our (pseudo) secular Central Government filed an affidavit to the Supreme Court of India saying there is no proof that Rama existed. This became an issue (not the affidavit, but the project) since they have a project called ‘Sethusamudram’ which might damage the existing Rama’s Bridge . Government says, it is not manmade and hence it could not have been made by Rama, the legendary epic character who was an incarnation of the Supreme, as per the Hindu belief.

I have spoken to many people from many part of the world and in my personal experience, all of them were proud of their culture. I remember a person from China verbally attacking me when I was just kidding about they eating insects. That person told me it is part of their complex culture which I don’t understand. Though I apologized and said, I was just joking and no offence meant, it all vent in vain.

But this is not the case with India, world’s largest democratic nation. Though the country was divided into two based on religion in 1947, Indian politicians are ashamed of admitting it. India stands as a Secular nation. They were always pseudo secular showing more concern to protect the rights of the minority. But when elections come, thy consider religion, caste, creed and what not.. Politicians thought more religion than so called religious leaders.

In most of the case, these leaders where ashamed to admit that they are Hindus (if that is the case). The left always was against Hinduism. But leaders from other religion proudly said they belong to their religion. This is what is happening to a culture rich nation and there is no wonder the government took such a stand. This will also help other religious groups who want to spread their faith.

When did Rama live? He is supposed to be lived about 8,69,000 to 21,65,000 years back. What was the bridge building technology used by the then people? Dose the government has got any idea? Nope…..how will it look if something is kept under sea water this many years? No idea….

What does Ramayana says about this bridge? It says they made it using stones, there is no mention of they using cement or any other artificial/man made stuff. And as per Ramanaya, where did Rama build that bridge? From Rameswaram (India) to Sri Lanka. And is there anything like that exists now? It does. Then why is it not popularized? Coz that will provide the Hindu religion more historical roots and the whole world don’t want that to happen, especially the top nations.

Adam's Bridge a pic by NASA (courtesy NASA)

Another pic from NASA (courtesy NASA)

So, when NASA found out that there exists such a structure which is mentioned in Ramayana, which was written thousands of years ago, they named it as ‘Adam’s Bridge’. Well, why after Adam? Does it mean that Adam lived in India? Did he travel to Sri Lanka using this bridge? Did he make this bridge? So what is the idea behind naming a Bridge like structure which has a lot to do with Hindu mythology as Adam’s bridge? Well well well…… Ask NASA …..

Areal view of Rama's Bridge (courtesy Wikimedia Commons)

Too much religion is too dangerous. Long ago somebody compared religion with salt. You are eating some food and you think about salt, when? Either salt is less or it is more. If it is in correct proportion, you won’t think particularly about the salt but just enjoy the food.

Religion should be like salt, too much of it or too less of it is a problem. And a classic example is Bin Laden asking America to embrace Islam (or face the consequences!)

Six and Seven

There weren’t much memorable things that happened in the next couple of years or so. I passed 5the grade with first class. Moved on to a new division (previously was in A division) which I don’t remember, for 6th grade. Opposite to my class room was a big tamarind tree. I got some new friends here. But none of them were specially close to me since they had their own set of friends. So, my 5th grade friend remained with me as a close friend. Till that time, among my friends, I was the most studious and hence there weren’t any competition from them.

Most of our teachers came in bicycles. Many high school teachers had scooter. I did not see anybody coming in car.

For seventh grade I was put into C division. Got acquainted with some more kids and my friends remained same, (those who belonged to my original ‘I’ division). But I met one of my old buddies in this class. He was there with me during my second grade. And among the acquainted ones, one became a little more friendly than the rest of the C division kids (we moved on to different class and then met again at college and he finally became a Dentist)

One thing I remember about this seventh grade is a flood.

There was a kind of slum area half a kilo meter away from our school and that got affected during flood. Hence government used our school to temporarily accommodate them. It was like a camp. Thus we got lots of holidays :). But when we were back to school, on the first day, we were asked to wash and clean our class :(

I went to a tuition center that year. And there I met another old buddy. He wasn’t in my class but we studied in the same school when we were in second grade. He became a friend of mine. When I remember him, the first thing that comes in my mind is the smell of fish. He used to take fish daily and most of the time smelled too. His nick name was ‘monkey’

There was some pressure at the end of the exam since we were moving to high school next year. But I did not take any of these pressures seriously, either from school or from the tuition center. Parents did not bother about my studies.

There was a club and community hall half a kilometer from our house and even today, it is there. Opposite to my house lived a politician who then was the member of the legislative assembly. He also was leftist a trade union leader.

On the way to my school lived two (or three?) ministers. That means, it is the official residence of ministers. Then the city police commissioner’s office. Police training college also was very near. Then this building called ‘Residency’, with vast compound. This is called so because, when the British were ruling this place, their resident representative, a British citizen, lived here. We used to wander inside this place and throw stones at the mango trees (to get mangoes). And for some kids, this served as a safe place to hide when they bunk class.

There were ice stick venders outside the gate of our school. Though teachers ask the students to not to buy them, we always bought them. They came in different colors and flavors. The most popular type had sort of ‘pasta’ in it. These weren’t of high quality and I hardly think that they were made at hygienic conditions. But still we bought them very frequently, some even daily. There was a small shop near our school’s front entrance where we get nice jaggery-coconut candies. They were very tasty.

Another ‘establishment’ one can never forget is a small restaurant opposite to the back entrance of our school. We students used to have our lunch from there if we could not bring lunch box. None of us ordered a regular meal, though we were there to have lunch, but its most popular ‘item’ was ‘dosa’ which weren’t like home-made ones. It looked like pan cake and tasted differently. The curry supplied along with it was ‘sambar’. Then in a tray comes snacks like ‘vada’, ‘modakam’ etc…my favorite was ‘modakam’. Most of us preferred having food from this restaurant than brining from home. But what if the parents think the other way? Huh !


Dosa in that restaurant looked like this


Sambar



Dosa


Vada made of black gram



Vada made of bengal gram

We mostly played ‘konnikkali’ a ‘limping-game’ where we draw a court and using one leg to jump/leap, we need to touch the others inside the court. If that person accidentally touches his other leg on the ground, he is out. And next member from his team continues the game. Otherwise we played cricket. There weren’t any cricket ball, no bat, no stumps !!! We will make a ball using paper (or sometimes used rubber ball), use some flat piece of wood as bat and some sticks or our school trunk as wicket. Sometimes we play even hide and seek or ‘seven tiles’

I wasn’t doing great at studies, I never aggregated above 80%, but since there weren’t much competition, I always stood within the top 10 of our class, where we had about 40 students (then moved on to top 3)….I wasn’t self motivated. There weren’t any encouragement from either the teachers or parents, so I did not participate in any of the other-than-study competitions, though I could have achieved something.

At home, only change that happened was, the house owner’s wife gave birth to a baby boy (later on, one more……I met them recently, I could not identify them, one of them became a CA – like CPA)….cat died and new cat came. Then some minor quarrels between my mother and the house owner’s wife. Once I even heard about my dad’s plan to leave us and live alone, which I think was just a bluff to threaten his wife.

But again, as the four members sit together as a family, without any doubt, it wasn’t a happy family.

I entered into puberty……

I developed the habit of writing diary/journal.

Once again I passed the final exam with first class. Now time to move on to high school.

I Mean

What do I mean? I mean what does my name mean? One Penoy friend asked me this. Yes, Indian names has got some meaning.

Jaya or Jai can be translated as ‘hail’ or even ‘praise’
Ram (or Rama )- though it can be further split (in Sanskrit), one of its meaning is – the Supreme or for convenience we can call it as Lord

So, my name means – Praise the Lord!

And somebody asked me what you mean by mantra…..

Mantra is a sacred word. These were ‘heard’ or felt by ancient Rishis/ seers when they were in deep meditation. ‘OM’ is considered as the ‘mantra of mantras’ or the ‘Pranava’ Mantra or the primal sound…..it even symbolizes the entire universe….

Confused? From your name (who asked me), it looks like you are a Christian. So, look at this

“ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”

- John 1:1

Just relax and think over and over and over again about that Word

We Still Have Hope

Of late I developed a habit of avoiding political news, sometimes we can’t help. But how one can ignore some of the achievements by Indian politicians, recently?

One nuclear deal in desk, if we sign, no more nuclear tests can be conducted by India, and the US will help our further nuclear programmes carried out by our (already underpaid) scientists. If we don’t sign, face the consequences!(It is said that long ago, we got a US ‘help’ during the India-China war which helped China win the war!!!)

Strict action against immoral traffic and (poor) sex workers!!! If a man and woman get caught together, they can end up in jail for six months and pay hefty fine!! And who came out with this idea? The Indian politicians who keeps very high moral values !!!!

Some went a step further and banned condom with extra features since the purpose of the condom is just to prevent pregnancy (and may be STDs)!!!

A gangster got arrested who has only 38 cases registered in his name that includes many murder and rape (yes, now he is qualified to enter into politics). He enters a building to show the police where he hid a revolver. What happens then? He takes the revolver and fires at the inspector (who cleverly escaped, wow) who was with him and hence the other policemen fired at him and killed him on the spot , WOW!! To save who’s a**?

Intel decided to back out from their plan to have one Chip factory in India. Why? Politicians are busy solving issues and they did not get any time to frame a policy and give the approval…

We had a genius/humble/loving human as our President and our patriotic politicians did not give him another term!!!! May be he don’t have a criminal record and his educational qualifications are not in par with the Industry!!!!

Kudos to Indian politicians!

(At least we still have hope since our judiciary is very transparent. In a rape and murder case, where a man raped a kid (I think she was only 6 years old) and the kid died, the court ruled that it is not the rape that killed the girl but the bleeding (due to rupture))

In Search

The Q = I is 5cm away from P; how far is P from I?

He was in search, in search to find the answer
He went this way, he went that way
Ways leading him out, out from where he was

He asked X, he asked Y he asked even Z
All said its 5cm and gave him sort of look
He was in search, in search to find the answer

Then he saw this path, which did not look nice
A Path that did not lead him out and
He did not know where it goes

He asked the Q, in the hollow path
‘It can be miles, if I and P are humans’
“Should I cry? Or Should I smile?”

He is in search, in search to find his answer.

Psssst..Its a Secret..

As per Indian belief, there are five major secrets around us. I am not talking about the people around us who keep lots of secrets from us. Such people and secrets are in abundant in this world.

Mantrarahasya (Secret of the Mantras) – How does a mantra work? Mantras said to generate a particular vibration (depends on the mantra you chant). But that is not just the thing and it is a secret

Jananarahasya (Secret of birth) – We don’t know why we were born. Nor do we know the entire process behind it. That too as humans. There are so many other whys in the queue (why in this country? Why at this particular place? Etc etc)….so why it is so? It’s a secret

Maranarahasya (Secret of death) – Though this is the ultimate truth, that we will die one day, we don’t have the truth behind it. When? Where? At what time? How? why? And from there where will we go? ….its a ……

Prakritirahasya (Secret of the Nature) – Without any doubt, many of us might have exclaimed at some nature related things ‘ wow, how does it happen?’ …The other day there came a hurricane (Dean) and it affected Jamaica and Mexico. Though its ‘power’ faded a little, it then gained before reaching Mexico (scientists might have some ‘theory’ , thanks)….but why it came to that place? You can ask a hundred beautiful ‘why’s if you are open to nature…..but it is a………..

Rajarahasya (Secret of ruling) – The creation of this universe and its ruling. It’s a big secret

Since all these are secrets, how can I reveal it?

The Sky Is So High !

You have got a best friend?
………………….

Today I saw/heard somebody telling somebody else, ‘you are the only friend I have got’….. that person stressed the word ‘friend’….Later, I asked the other person ‘ do you feel the same emotion towards that person?’ Since the person who received my question started thinking, I said, ok, I know…..(I know them both, in person)
………………….

Some might ask who is a best friend…it depends on the person who considers who his/her best friend is…

For me, a best friend is not a friend of mine who possess all the best qualities a human can possess but a person, from a group of friends, with whom I am most comfortable with…who I can easily get along with ….somebody gives a ‘feeling good’ ….

It may not always be a permanent relationship. It can change.. During childhood we might have a best friend and when we grow up, we might get separated due to various situations in our life….like continuing higher education at different places and then taking up jobs at different countries etc etc

When does that relationship becomes so beautiful? When both consider the other person as their best friend…but do it happen always? Nope. Sometimes it happens and in most of the cases it does not happen. But it does not matter here, for me, as my thought for today is in a different direction.

This is not an exclusive thing that happens when being (only) with your best friend….(then? …) But that is one of such beautiful moments and it has a lot to do with your present and even your future…..these moments has got a long lasting effect.

Don’t feel like agreeing with me?

If friendship moments gives you a ‘feeling good’, well, that moment is worth in your life. At present, I am not telling why it is so. You don’t have any reason to believe me; also, you don’t have any reason to disbelieve me.

Why?

Because the sky is so high!!!!

Four or Five?

Sometime ago, one of my acquaintances asked me this:

“Do you know how many horses are tied to the chariot driven by Krishna during the Mahabharata war?”

“Five” , I said.

“No, it is only four” he showed the ISKCON Bhagavad Gita.

ISKCON’ s Gita is the most popular one around the world, it seems, I don’t know. Some people say it is the authentic one, well I doubt. Gita by them contained only four horses. Even for a Hindu, if this is confusing what about others who try to understand Gita?

How many Hindus themselves understand what that picture means?

A major thing which is common with scriptures of all religion is that, they are not direct and simple. It mostly speaks through symbols. Thus just because a person can read and write dose not mean that he/she can understand a scripture. I think this is applicable to Bhagavad Gita, Holy Bible, Holy Quran, Holy Toras etc…

And that is why we need somebody to explain those. And since it not being direct, it can be interpreted in many ways. Jesus conveyed many things through fables. That further should be studied and understood. Those weren’t some kids stuff.

Well, the question is four horses or five.

First of all we need to understand what that chariot is. It is not just Lord Krishna driving a silly Chariot with some horses. Everything is in symbols.

That whole thing symbolizes ‘us’, a typical human

The Chariot is the Body
Krishna is the Driver which again means wisdom
The harness held by Krishna is mind
Horses are our FIVE sense organs

The whole thing is deep again and hence needs further analysis and explanation (since the question is number of horses…..hmmm…let me skip that)

So, it is five itself, five horses.

But why then it is told as four in many versions? Is that wrong? Not at all….that too is right

These organs deal with – sound, touch, taste, vision, and smell.

Some people club touch (skin) and taste (tongue) together since tongue is also sort of skin, externally. Tongue uses the skin layer to help taste (am not talking the science part)

(Why the horses are white? Why Krishna’s Conch called by that name, why Arjuna’s Conch called by that name, why that flag with Hanuman? Etc etc …..all these have some logic and they are not just a shown there for beauty of the picture)

Sometimes !

Sometimes I don’t understand you
You looked at me with eyes of kindness
You looked at me with eyes of cuteness
I looked at you with eyes of fear, coz
Sometimes I don’t understand you

You did not take me anywhere
But you took me all around
You walked ahead without looking at me, behind
I never knew where I go, coz
Sometimes I don’t understand you

Where is love and where is the heart?
I saw the heart in you I saw the love in you
You looked at me with eyes of fury
You looked at me with eyes of anger
Sometimes I don’t understand you

You stared at me you smiled at me
You did not give anything for me
Then you gave everything for me
I looked at you with eyes of puzzle, coz
Sometimes I don’t understand you

Sometimes I don’t understand you, coz
Sometimes I don’t understand you.

No Taido !

I was bit busy with some other preoccupied things for the last couple of days.

I got a comment and a mail regarding my post related to Taido. The mail does not need any attention since it was an appreciation. Thanks for the mail and comment. I expressed my view or ignorance and others have right to express theirs, with the same logic.

Since I have got friends and relatives in many parts of the world (which includes the U.S and Japan), I have other source than just browsing the net. The very best example is one of my friends providing information about Capoeira, from Brazil.

In any case, I don’t have any particular personal credentials with respect to any form of martial arts. Nor am I a martial arts historian.

(But I was lucky enough to get a kick from our national champion (of one time and of course I fell down) and be a student (for sometime) of a martial artist who then held a 6th Dan Black Belt).

My intention never was to tell that that Taido just copied something from Kalari and thus tarnish the image of Taido. Can I perform some moves of Taido and show the similarity with Kalari? I never said that.

Look at this situation, my Karate master developed some moves of his own (this is for real, he did that). But though he is my master, I won’t agree if he says it is his unique moves. Coz, all his base is his Karate and it originated from his exposure to it.

As far as Kalari is concerned, I was lucky to get acquainted with two of our State/Province champions. How long does it takes to master Karate and get a Black Belt? Below four years, if you are regular and has aptitude. And what about Kalari? When will you master it, in the traditional way? It takes about 10 years! (12 to 14 years, sometimes, even if you are regular and have got aptitude). Kalari can not be easily compared with modern Martial arts like Karate why because they have different approach.

Somebody who is an expert in Kalari is capable of making any move which is possible with a human body. Its emphasis on eye-mind-body co-ordination is very high. It makes you capable of moving the body (hand or legs) where the mind demands/requires it should go/reach. It meets demands of the situation - 100 %

Kalari not only address the defense, attack self discipline etc etc , but it has got a complete idea about the human body. Systematic treatment of injury is part of it (herb based). When combined with traditional Ayurveda, it can even address any form of human disease/illness/injury (from fracture to dandruff !!)

I remember some incidents during my training period. Accidents/injuries happening during training. My Kalari teacher handled it all by himself with his own medicines/techniques and in the second case (Karate), the victim was taken to a hospital for treatment (plus I have personal injury-doc visit experience). That makes a lot of difference. Today, in some Kalaries, many people from all over the world come for treatments for various ailments and rejuvenation.

A well accomplished Kalari Ashan ( a Kalari Teacher) knows what happens when a particular ‘vital point’ of Marma, gets hit. He knows when this person will die with what symptoms, if not treated. He is very much capable telling which part got hit looking at the symptoms and take appropriate action. I have seen them giving minor anesthesia by giving just a tap, as part of treatment. Kalari is not just another martial art; it’s a way of living.

Anybody who has looked into the history of martial arts knows who Bodhidharma is and what was his contribution to martial arts forms of Asia and from where he came from and what his base was.

Capoeira is unique in its own way since music is part and parcel of it. And its moves are different from the traditional left-right-front-back moves. And yes, it looks like they have the three dimensional moves. And it is more original than new brands of Karate with a different name.

Jeet Kune Do has nothing to do with Kung Fu? Aikido?.......

I don’t have any disrespect towards any form of martial arts found in any part of the world. In fact I love them. I respect them. And I am not ‘over proud’/prejudiced of my country’s martial arts. I am not at all partial about it, even I chose Karate over it.

But how many people now know Kalari, in its depth and originality? It did not develop or spread further but went the other way, unfortunately.

Taido

From childhood, I always wished to learn Karate. Though my place is the birth place of the mother of all martial arts, the Kalari Payattu’. Karate had some ‘style’. Kalari Payattu was too traditional. But my dad never allowed me to learn. He did not give me a proper reason for it. May be he was scared that I will get killed or something. And there were some people who spread this kind of message ‘ if you want to join Karate, you need to give a declaration saying even if you die while learning, they are not responsible’

How true it is? Partly it is true, coz, I signed a similar condition where it said, I am learning it at my own risk.

My first attempt to learn any martial art was about 20 years ago. When I become of age, I just joined a ‘Kalari’ – a school that teach Kalari Payattu – and started learning Kalari Payattu. My dad did not show much resistance, mom said, better you don’t come here receiving all the kicks and punches. But it was part of learning any martial arts.

I stopped it before me becoming good at it, after learning it for some months when my martial arts teacher shifted the Kalari to a far away place. Then there was a huge gap of 10 years, and I finally joined a Dojo to learn Karate.

Oooops! My intention wasn’t to write about my learning of martial arts....

I was about to write something else…something about a martial art form which is not that popular in my country or even most of the other countries (though it is practiced in Japan, Sweden, Finland, Portugal, Denmark, France, Great Britain, the Netherlands, Australia and the USA)…….. It is called Taido, and some even call it as the martial art of the 21st century.

Many of us are familiar (heard about) with most popular martial art forms like:

Boxing, Karate, Kung Fu, Taekwondo, Muay Thai, Judo, Ju Jitsu, Aikido, capoeira etc etc. but most of the people I know, don’t have any idea about Taido.

Taido originated in Japan, just like Karate. Founded by Seiken Shukumine about 40 years ago and it is based on Okinawan Karate . The major change (The usual moves are left, right , back front one) he made into his new form of martial art was the introduction of ‘three dimensional’ moves. This is implemented by spinning and twisting moves.

But all these moves are there in Kalari Payattu, which originated thousands of years ago. So back to basics?

The Preacher

Today I am going to tell a story. A Mulla Nasruddin Story


The old preacher of the neighboring town breathed his last. So, after his death, the people there told Mulla to preach for them.

“I am too tired, please find someone else” said the Mulla

But the crowd compelled him and took him to the dais. Looking at the audience Mulla asked,

“ Do you all know what I am going to speak?”

“Yes”, cheered the crowd.

“As you already know of it, I don’t have to speak” , said Mulla

But the crowd did not leave him.

“We don’t know what you are going to speak, so please speak’, they requested.

“When you don’t know, what is the use of me speaking?” , Mulla asked

Then half the crowd said they know and the other half said they didn’t know what he was going to speak.

So Mulla said to them:

‘In that case, those who know what I am going tot speak, tell it to the others!”,

and he left for home.

Friendship Portals and True Friends

I was bit lazy today....did not write anything to blog here....so just posting something which I wrote for another blog of mine which is part of Friendster, a friendship portal.

******

Recently, one of my friends here posted a message saying something like this : ‘it is very difficult to find a true friend here, in Friendster so be careful’ etc etc

For a moment I thought about it. Did I get a true friend from here? I asked myself….not once but many times….all the time, I got answers like ‘ may be’ , ‘ I don’t know’ etc……but the result of my mind-brain co-ordination hesitated to give the output ‘Yes’, with confidence…..

But does it mean that I agree with that friend of mine? Nope. Because I have studied this place. People join this portal to fulfill different requirements. Though it has a global color, its sort of a Pinoy portal, at least as on today.

Most of them are here to have a ‘virtual get together’. They are looking for their old classmates or old buddies. For such people, this portal is not a disappointing one, that too if one is a Filipina.

Some are here looking for friends (just friends, true friends, time pass ones etc etc).

Those who are here for time pass, they get thousands of friends, that too if you are a good looking female. For many, one or two account itself is not enough. They keep on adding and some of them even keep them in ‘show case’…

If anybody is after just friends, they might also get many friends here, not that difficult.

But if somebody here is looking for a true friend, well, they might get, I am not sure, but it takes time. And it all depends on one’s perception about what a ‘true friend’ is. A good friend of yours can turn into your life partner, but basically, that is not what friendship is all about.

In a real friendship world, it is easy to make out who is close to whom, among our friends circle. But here it is not possible. One can easily get disappointed, after sometime, when one realizes certain ‘realities’.

Those who are here for flirting, they too might get their targets, am not sure, since there are better places for such people.

There are some others who are looking for a ‘relationship’. They better be careful to avoid frustration.

World over, people ends many relationships even after ‘knowing each other’ for many years, personally. Boy friend after boy friend, girl friend after girl friend, divorces after divorce - even after finding their ‘soul mate’…So, if such is the case with the real world, even after knowing people in person for many years, hanging around with them for many years, getting enough chance to understand how the other one reacts or behaves to many situations and ending up in break ups after years, how safe or real is this virtual world? It is a limitation which can be addressed with common sense (there is a saying that common sense is a sense which is absent in common man!!).

In this virtual friendship world, for many of them, it is just a head-hand coordination work, without involving heart. They type many things without any emotional content. And there are also people who play with other people’s emotions. Here the person who is at the receiving end gets hurt (usually the weak minded ones/soft types).

So, take a moment, and come out of it and look at it…..isn’t a funny place? A big family of millions of people from (almost) all over the world, smiling, crying, praying, hurting (getting hurt), cheating (getting cheated), helping (getting helped), advising (getting advised), using scripts for doing good things (and using it to damage), being a culprit (being a victim)…………… remember that it is a cross section of the world and society and hence you meet all kinds of people here, not just goody goody ones.

If you are emotionally depending somebody here, well, its all up to you and your mental strength…

But anyway I am happy to be part of this BIG family and looking forward to meet many wonderful people here.

Intelligence

When I was standing in a queue to pay my telephone bill, a guy said this ‘ how can he be called brilliant? Did he clear his matriculation exam?’ he was talking to another guy, holding a newspaper, and the guy in question is a famous international cricket player from India.

When I looked at him, he smiled at me with a look of ‘ am I right or not’. So I too smiled. (Look at his guts looking at me and smile! This hardly happens, though I am not a monster). I did not converse with him, but avoided. And thought a little more about what he just said.

I think he might be referring to the intelligence of that player. I don’t know whether he passed his matriculation or not, but he is one of the richest Indian and sports person. He has got world reputation and is not a silly thing. I am not a fan of him, but I disagree with that person who thinks this sports person is ‘something else’.

Being intelligent is not being a book worm. It neither is being very studious. Many people think chess players are all ‘intelligent’. If you are not good at chess, they might say, ‘chess needs brains’… I don’t play chess and am not much interested in it. But I know a couple of people who are very good at chess but are were bad at studies. And I know a college topper (engineer)who is bad at 'chess'

So, what is intelligence and who exactly is an intelligent person?

There are tons of definitions by psychiatrists, psychologists etc…but the interesting one I ever heard is this : ‘Intelligence is what you use when you don’t know what to do’ . Is this the most scientific definition? I don’t know but I liked it.

Who is an intelligent person? It depends because intelligence is not a single faculty of the mind. There exists many flavors of it. When we talk about multiple intelligence, we obviously think about Professor Howard Gardner and his theories. Again, there are different opinions. Some say he only identifies seven types and some say he talks about nine. Unfortunately I could not attend any of his class at Harward…

But the seven types are as follows:

1. Musical : why need more explanation? All the music celebrities have this. Not only them, but the sensitive listeners also.- Eg, composers, Singers…

2. Logical and Mathematical : Those who like playing with numbers, strategy, quantify, patterns etc etc. – Scientists, Detectives…

3. Interpersonal : The ability to understand and interact with others. This is not just verbal communication but also includes the non verbal acting skills. – Politicians, social workers…

4. Intra-personal : The capacity to understand oneself, one’s thoughts, feelings, human condition etc and use that knowledge. – Spiritual Leaders, philosophers, psychologists….

5. Kinesthetic/Physical/Bodily : The use of physical ability and strength. These people has better ‘timing’ ability, mind-body co-ordination. – Athletes, dancers and yes, surgeons…

6. Linguistic : Ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meaning. These people like telling stories, doing crossword puzzles etc – Novelists, journalists, public speakers…

7. Spatial: Thinking in three dimension….Imaginative, good at image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills….- Painters, architects, sailors, sculptors…

From the above it is clear that the sports person in question is intelligent, without any question. Usually, we all are a mixture of all these and in some people, one or more skills dominates.

Life is a Candle

Your mind is a flame. You are a flame, this body is a wick, and the karma is the wax. As long as the karma is there and the wick is here, then your mind, the glow, sticks onto it. Your soul sticks onto it. - Guruji

God's Work!

Following is taken from one of my mails I wrote 2-3 years ago.

"

....
....

Understand one thing, God’s work is not just working in/only in any ashrams or being with holy people. And with the same logic, we can say just coz you are in the ashram, whatever you do can not be called as God’s work. God is love and he doesn’t want us to suffer. Jesus suffered a lot of pain; you can guess how it feels when nails passing through your flesh….may be he got fainted coz of the sheer pain. But he didn’t want us to suffer like that; instead he said he suffered it for the entire humanity. (But still why we suffer is a different issue.) And in India, some fools even believes in torturing their own bodies to please God. I agree that India is rich in spirituality, but don’t ever think that every Indian you meet is spiritual. When I read about your back pain while you were in the ashram, two things came into my mind.

I always believed in good and bad and want to stand with the good. I was known as a good person (don’t think that I became bad now). But what I received from others or from the nature (as fate) wasn’t good (may be my Guru is staring at me at this point….lol). Whenever this sort of thing- bad things- happens, I used to ask “ why me? I was always good to others” . Then one day my Guru’s answer came, “ see, there is no point in just being a goodie goodie in this world, you need skills to survive in this planet….you have to be good but intelligent too”.

A year ago or so, I was in the ashram doing a course. Seva was part of the course. Every person should do some seva (some pple wont listen even if it is from Guru’s mouth, they do it as a work, if at all they do it). One day I decided to help the kitchen people with cleaning. It was hard physical work. They cooked for thousands. I kept on doing it. Almost every one had food, but not me. (I have this acidity and migraine problems. If I don’t eat in time, I might develop stomach probs and head ache) I was still cleaning. Finally when it became past 3, I took some food and started eating. Then came the kitchen-in-charge. He scolded me. Can you guess why?

He said “I know you are doing seva here, as part of your course, but it doesn’t mean that you should not have your food in time….all the time, I thought you had food….” (removed name), don’t expect people like him even in ashrams, these days. They are rare species.

"

Note: Seva means Volunteer work or selfless service or work offered to God etc

Its A Dog's Life !

Ever thought about why dogs are so loving?

I never got any particular answer for it, though I thought about it. I thought may be its in their nature to love humans. I did not try to get an answer looking deep into any of our scriptures. Since we have tons of scriptures and it touches every aspect of life, there must be some solid things available. But its like searching in the ocean.

There are lots of mentions about dogs and their love, in most of the religions or religious books and scriptures. For a layman Hindu, if at all he/she remembers, most probably, the dog related memory that connects to religion might be the dog that followed the Yudhistira, the eldest of Pandavas (Mahabharata).



Mahabharatha, the great epic of India almost ends with this dog story. Yudhishtira, his four other brothers and wife decides to renounce kingdom and even life. They started for the Himalayas. A dog followed them. All the five died on their way who followed Yudhishtira but the dog. At the entrance of the heaven, Lord of the Heaven asked him to ditch the dog and then Yudhishtira refuses to enter and he says

“ I can not leave this holy creature who has accompanied me through all my trials and tribulations. Either you admit both, or else I will not enter Heaven”

Most of the Muslims I know don’t have dog as their pet and one of them told me they are not supposed to keep it. They consider dog as a ‘dog’. But I refuse to believe in it coz there is a story like this, connected to Mohammed the Prophet.

One day, a panting dog feebly approached one of his followers, who took notice of the poor animal. Seeing a puddle of muddy water, he tore a scrap off the hem of his shirt, soaked it in the water and taking the dog in his lap, he moistened its mouth.

Another person, witnessing this, went and told the Prophet that a member of the group had handled a filthy animal, "and therefore he should not be allowed back here again." Mohammed asked, "What was he doing to the dog ?" "I don't know, but I saw him moistening its mouth with a torn piece of cloth dipped in muddy water." "Then," replied the Prophet, "He is a better Muslim than you, because he is kind to animals."

In the Bible, there is no direct mentioning of any connection between Jesus and dogs. But the other day I read something strange. Somebody saying that Jesus was followed by a puppy (I wish to add : a cute lil puppy). As we know, Jesus was love and he was promoting love. A dog also shows love and spreads the message of love. Jesus tried to ease the suffering of the mankind and so do a dog. Look at this:

(What I have with me is the New King James Version of The Holy Bible)

“ There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously everyday.

But there was a certain begger named Lazarus, full of sores, who was laid at his gate.

Desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table. Moreover, the dogs came and licked his sores.

So, it was that the beggar died and was carried by the angles to Abraham’s bosom. The rich man also died and was buried”

- LUKE 16:19,20,21,22

But it looks like it is the Greek who really availed the dog’s doc service, apart from their guard and guide roles. From 500 BC till 300 A.D, in Asklepian Temples (Asklepius is the son of Apollo), dogs served as healers. These dogs were called cynotherapists. They used to smell the ill pple and then lick. But most of those temples got destructed and I don’t know what happened to those dogs. It is said that they got killed or thrown into the streets. One thing I am sure, if Jesus were there, he wouldn’t have allowed them to do so.

When St.Roch was just Roch, he had a wonderful dog. He was involved in healing plague, in the Europe, and he himself contracted the disease. When he was in the dying bed (?? He was lying under a tree), this dog used to steal a loaf of bread everyday for him and even licked his master's sores.

Florence Nightingale also promoted pets in therapies. Now it is proved that a dog’s saliva has got antibiotic capabilities (I think our saliva also should have similar qualities).



MOTI the dog who came with me (us) during Himalayan Hiking (over 13000 ft above sea level, he came all the way)

So, what are dogs, if they are not living example for love and care?

Lucid Moment!!

How many blogs I read on a regular basis? None.

I am not particularly regular with anybody else’s blogs these days. I got pulled to blogs by one of my friends, I was very keen reading her blogs when she was writing about her visit to India. I commented on most of her posts. Thus my first blog related writing was putting comments on somebody else’s blog.

But I used to read some blogs randomly. Many people around us are very talented and gifted. These blogs are a nice place for them to grow and express their thoughts and views. This year I read some nice poems, some nice thoughts on technology, money making using blogs (which ended up in a tragedy in my case), some bad stuffs (psssssst) etc etc.

So which is the title or ‘something’ that attracted me more, as far as the blogs I already read are concerned?

One guy says, “there are three ways to write, the right way, the wrong way and my way” I don’t remember in which blog it is. But I liked it…..nicely put….

Anybody already wrote something which I wished to write? Sometimes I think so.

Though they used different words and style, many of them said what I wanted to express. I don’t have any issues in that.

But there are some ‘titles ‘that I really wished to use but already used by others. Two of such which I always remember are:

In my Lucid State

Surreal Moment

I am happy that at least these were used by one of my buddies.

(Man, am not prejudiced, it’s a truth)

Gimme a Date!

It looks like the season of Relationships is over. One of them who came to me earlier now keeps mum, as if she doesn’t want to talk to me. May be things are fine at her end. But last week, one of my friends talked to me about her failed date.

They met each other on the net. Had some chats. Exchanged some pics. Made some fone calls. Everything went just great……Then this date. Then this disappointment!

According to her, his physical appearance wasn’t as she thought. Then this and that…. Her version was that he wasn’t truthful. I don’t know what he has to say.

My role was listener. So, I just listened. But I was surprised too because she was an educated girl. As with present generation of girls, they are well versed with internet. So, I thought a little about a Date.

I personally don’t have a date experience. (Once I had a coffee with a friend in a restaurant. She was just a friend, a close friend. Then I had picked up a friend of mine from her hostel directly to my home. She spent half the day with me and my mother. We talked a lot and had lunch and tea together (hey, I am talking about you, buddy, who was doing a research paper for your PhD on Thomas Hardy. I then gave you my copy of The Woodlanders to you, remember?). In both cases, we never had any idea to build up any sort of relationship other than friendship).

I am not talking about how to date a woman. It looks like, most of the time, if a date fails, men usually stands at the safer side. He don’t have anything to lose, apart from some money. But I feel girls should be more careful and cautious.

Most common mistakes made by girls during a date:

1. Leaving an impression that you are badly in need of a date. The Needy and Insecure aspect.

How does a man read this aspect? If you ever use any swear word to talk about your old boyfriend. A man with reasonable brains will note it. If a girl thought this will impress her new man, she is wrong.

2. Too much physical contact.

A man will definitely note this, enjoy this but will never mention what he thinks about this girl.

3. Giving too much priority over his sex aspect than his emotional aspect.

If a girl thinks the sex she offers/obliges will get translated into a solid relationship, she is wrong. Men are not just fools to not to observer this. They will enjoy the sex part but they also are capable of sorting out the emotional attachment and sexual attachment.

In a relationship, men are (if he is serious) not after just sex. He expects his other half to understand him emotionally.

4. Too much attraction

The problem with trying to attract too much or getting attracted to (out of proportion) will definitely create a strange problem. When we see somebody too much attractive, that force of attraction overrides our basic logics and instincts. This is a problem that will develop in the long run. We are not going to lead a long lasting relationship based on a particular body part or faculty (like ability to sing). It is beyond that.

And what about net based dates? Since there are lots of dating sites coming up, one should be a lil careful with them. There are some basic precautions a girl should take.

The following advice looks convincing:

1. Know your date. Don't go out with someone unless you have exchanged emails a few times and talked on the phone. Make sure you have a good feeling about the person. Trust your inner voice. If the other person is for real, he should understand and be able to wait a bit longer.

2. Meet in a public place for the first few times. Have coffee at a restaurant or go to a movie. Most likely nothing will happen but it is better to be safe than sorry.

3. For a first date, maybe invite the person to a party you are going too where you will have some friends and they will be able to bring some their friends. If it doesn't work out at least you can still have some fun.

4. Always tell someone where you are going and who you are going with, and tell them you will call when you get home. Make sure to bring your cell phone and some extra money, just in case you find out you are not a match and you need to get home.

5. Make sure you have a time limit on your first date. It will allow for an out if you need it. A good example for this is going to lunch.

6. Get a few photo's of the person, especially some with his friends or family. It will give you some hints on what type of person he is plus you will know who to look for when you go to meet him.

7. Don't let the person pick you up at home, meet the person at the location you are going to. You shouldn't give out your address until you have met the person a few times. Always be aware of the personal information you're revealing to a date. Most likely nothing will happen but it is better to be safe than sorry.

8. Never do anything you feel unsure about. As an example if he suggests to sitting at the back of the theater and you don't want to, then don't. If they continue to try, walk out. If the person has already raised a few red flags on the first date, it probably is not going to work out.

9. Refrain from drinking excessively, as it could impair your ability to make good and wise decisions.

10. If you are serious and want to do a criminal background check for your date, many people offer it. This too is not a bad idea.

What kind of a person you should consider if you are looking for a life partner? Your other half should compliment you, at least in some basic personality aspects. Two egoistic people, two very proud people, two very sensitive people, two very insensitive people, two short tempered people, two very emotional people, two very arrogant people etc etc has got less chance to go on and on and on.

Me, Now-Friends and IMs

So far, I have used MSN, Yahoo!, Google Talk, and ICQ (once or twice, long ago). MSN was my first IM. And my most of the contacts had MSN…

When I was with MSN, I was part of a chat room. A room to discuss about almost anything decent. The moderator was from the U.S (how do I know? For skilled users, there were ways to find this out). I forgot his name. Then he made me a moderator. We never allowed racist people there. I had some good time with that chat room. I met lots of good and nice people there. Everyday, new new people, new new things to discuss. Since the other moderator was in the U.S., we met each other only during a cusp period. When he sleeps, I used to be there (not always) and when I sleep, he used to be there…

I was regular with some other chat rooms also, like medical, psychology, spiritual, religion etc. Another one was a room where depressed people used to come. I wasn’t depressed, though I was stressed ….I was there to study people and help…. I tried to help many people there. One thing I remember is, most of the time, at least a couple of visitors were interested in talking about cats….once I got kicked off from that room for cracking some jokes!! And they banned me for 24 hours!!!

That time, I got a couple of friends from those rooms. But alas!, I lost all of them, except Two (may be three, cant say since one guy is still there in my MSN, though we don’t chat).

One was a lady from the U.S. She was very kind and informative. She gave me lots of information about her place. She underwent a surgery and after that I had only a couple of chats with her. She wasn’t rich and she wasn’t able to take enough post-operative care. She told me, if she won’t report she will lose her job. Yes, she was an American born Italian. (Hope she is still alive.). Thus only one left. I thought I lost this person but came back after a long break. Thanks buddy.

(There is one exception. I got one person after a looong search just to ask a doubt about Trekking/hiking shoe and became a buddy, though we don’t chat these days)

Because of these chat rooms, I was/am lucky to have chat with people from Australia, the U.S, Philippines, Russia, Laos, Turkey, China, Korea, Pakistan, Thailand (this I suspect now, after my Thailand visit….English is not that popular there) and Estonia…. This is what I remember now.

When Microsoft stopped free MSN Chat Rooms for India, I shifted to Yahoo!. But I did not spent much time with Yahoo!. I liked MSN rooms compared to Yahoo. I never was regular with any of the Yahoo chat rooms. Same with my IM, there weren’t many contacts in my Yahoo IM. So, I hardly used it.

I don’t remember any ICQ related friends or event, as far as my ICQ IM is concerned. With ICQ, I had a more web based chats, in rooms. I never had any ICQ friend. May be it will come soooooooon, after I install ICQ (hehehe)

Then came the Google Talk. I have only one exclusive Google Talk friend who doesn’t have any other IM.

This year, I became part of a friendship portal and then Yahoo came back again.

So, which is the IM of my choice? MSN, Yahoo! ICQ or Google Talk?

Since most of my present buddies are in Yahoo I habitually use Yahoo these days.

If you are looking for stability, go with GoogleTalk. And it is brilliantly linked to Gmail. It works most of the time. Then comes MSN. But MSN has got some connectivity issues. And at the last position comes Yahoo! (I don’t know much about ICQ, as on this date)

But Yahoo has got so many other things in its basket.

The most beautiful thing about Yahoo! is its emoticons (about 88 of them) and audibles. If you have not tried those, you are missing something . Yahoo! has got such cute emoticons. And now, audibles in many different languages. Let us have a closer look at the Yahoo! IM ….No, I am not paid for writing about Yahoo!.

• Photo Sharing
• Radio
• Games
• IMvironments – theme based background
• You can add your MSN buddies here
• Search
• Calendar
• File transfer
• Stealth mode
• Allows to add plug-ins
• Avatars
• Skins
• Free Chat Rooms
• Sound Effects during PC calls
• Yahoo Mobile
• PC to PC calls
• Phone to PC calls (not free)
• PC to Phone calls (not free)
• Blogs
• Conference
• Webcam

May be many more…….but it is horrible as far as providing a stable and continuous connection. You will get disconnected very frequently (with default settings)

Is that the only thing bad with Yahoo!? Nope

There is a big bug with the Photo Sharing, which can lead to misunderstanding (I have personal experience). The photo sharing allows the other person to save the pic in the window. What if the person who is placing the picture is trying to remove the pic while the other person is trying to save?

It gives a message to the person who has kept the pic, saying that the other person is saving the image…..True.

What if the picture is still in the process of streaming (that is one person has kept a pic in the folder/window and the other person is not able to see it properly as the bits are still in transfer) and the person who kept it on the folder tries to remove it?

It will again give the very same message saying that the other person is saving a bigger version of the image, which is ridiculous.

What about the stealth mode? Is it possible to find a person who is online but in invisible mode? The answer is ‘Yes’ , if one is ready to compromise one’s own security, it is possible…Now the security is so pathetic in this aspect that anybody in this world can find out anybody else’s yahoo online status……

How safe is the cam? Can we see somebody’s cam without their permission? I started thinking in this direction when I noticed somebody trying to connect to my cam......my present knowledge in this regard is not enough to give an explanation to this….

Can we use multiple ids at the same time in the same PC? It is possible

Can we fake the cam? Yes, you can

These crooked things are not provided by Yahoo! But it is high time Yahoo! look into these matters and fix the bugs for once and all. I have sent out a mail to them but did not get any reply so far.

Friendship Day!

Yesterday was ‘Friendship Day”……

Who are friends? If you checkout the friendship related cards, you get a lot of definitions. Friends are like this… friends are like that……Many are fancy ones and many are funny ones. Many makes us think, many makes us laugh…

The very latest one which I remember is one by one of my friends:

“Friends are like piss on your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth of it. Thank you for being the piss on my pants!”

Yesterday I spent some time to go back to my memories related to my friends….there came some smile…there came some pain too…

I never thought some of those moments would remain as ‘most memorable’ moments in my life, even after 10-15-20 years…..

The major difference between the ‘then friends’ and ‘now friends’ in my life is, my then friends were for real, who were physically present with me…..time changed …and my now friends are mostly friends who really exists somewhere but may not exist as what they claim what they are……

Its my personal experience. My type are rare type. Even in the cyber world, most of the people around me are having my then friends and not my now friends, though its now. I don’t know whether they are aware how lucky they are……

On this special occasion , I would like to thank all my then friends and now friends…..for making me feel light, making me cry, making me laugh, making me think, making me crazy, making me feel that I am part of this world, for making me understand how beautiful friendships are……

I am not here to announce ‘my friend of the year’ …… but I dedicate this day to a friend who made me soooo sad and soooo happy………

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!