Soliloquy? I don't know..

It was kind of festive season for people like me who are from that particular part of this planet. Thus for a couple of days I had a change as far as my food is concerned. A relief from our cook and my wife (am sorry, if you are reading this) and even from myself. This became possible coz we got invited and had feast from (my) in-laws place. I think I ate a little more than I used to. And thus I got an extra reason to thank God…. Thank you God for the food I eat….thank you God for the lovely treat…

Things around me weren’t stagnant these days. I wrote at least a dozen blogs in my mind. Every night, I thought I will write next day morning.. but I could not.. Were I that busy? I don't know..

Being busy is something funny. But most of the time, I am bit lazy when it comes to my personal things. During this festive season, we bought new dress. Wife has some idea about me and hence she said I should buy some new cloths first and then we will buy for others, fearing that I might not buy for me. I preferred to go ahead and buy for others. But when I got accused of cheating, I had no choice but to buy something for me too. I went alone….. yes, I remember, many a times, I am alone….No, I wasn’t busy for others, may be I was just worried..

I was mostly worried about my knee. I used to climb up and down 200 steps and all of a sudden, stairs became a fear factor… I was a good runner and now I struggle to walk… if there was no choice but to walk, at the end of the day, I limbed…

I spent lot of time with me. Sometimes I felt calmness…I thought of my old best friend…there even was happiness…thoughts took many different ways and directions, leading to somewhere or nowhere…. I felt heat…there was fear....sadness, helplessness, insecurity feeling...... I saw fumes…....I became soo happy when I got a call from a swim buddy. One day, I wrote a mail to one of my friends. It was a ‘Thanks mail’. I thanked her for not being my best friend ! . Did she take it in the right sense? I don’t know.

There was another set of serial blasts killing more than 50 and injuring about 250 people. An act of terror. That too during the Holy month of Ramadan. There were attacks on some Christians and missionaries. These made me think of Karl Marx. Was he such a visionary? Or was he just an atheist? I don’t know.

But I understood that even after eight weeks, my knees are not normal. Even after completing physiotherapy, it still is not normal…was it just coz of badminton? I don’t think so…. Will such prolonging injuries lead to arthritis? A possibility….

Jay Jay Jay, What are you going to do now?

I don’t know.