Gimme a Date!

It looks like the season of Relationships is over. One of them who came to me earlier now keeps mum, as if she doesn’t want to talk to me. May be things are fine at her end. But last week, one of my friends talked to me about her failed date.

They met each other on the net. Had some chats. Exchanged some pics. Made some fone calls. Everything went just great……Then this date. Then this disappointment!

According to her, his physical appearance wasn’t as she thought. Then this and that…. Her version was that he wasn’t truthful. I don’t know what he has to say.

My role was listener. So, I just listened. But I was surprised too because she was an educated girl. As with present generation of girls, they are well versed with internet. So, I thought a little about a Date.

I personally don’t have a date experience. (Once I had a coffee with a friend in a restaurant. She was just a friend, a close friend. Then I had picked up a friend of mine from her hostel directly to my home. She spent half the day with me and my mother. We talked a lot and had lunch and tea together (hey, I am talking about you, buddy, who was doing a research paper for your PhD on Thomas Hardy. I then gave you my copy of The Woodlanders to you, remember?). In both cases, we never had any idea to build up any sort of relationship other than friendship).

I am not talking about how to date a woman. It looks like, most of the time, if a date fails, men usually stands at the safer side. He don’t have anything to lose, apart from some money. But I feel girls should be more careful and cautious.

Most common mistakes made by girls during a date:

1. Leaving an impression that you are badly in need of a date. The Needy and Insecure aspect.

How does a man read this aspect? If you ever use any swear word to talk about your old boyfriend. A man with reasonable brains will note it. If a girl thought this will impress her new man, she is wrong.

2. Too much physical contact.

A man will definitely note this, enjoy this but will never mention what he thinks about this girl.

3. Giving too much priority over his sex aspect than his emotional aspect.

If a girl thinks the sex she offers/obliges will get translated into a solid relationship, she is wrong. Men are not just fools to not to observer this. They will enjoy the sex part but they also are capable of sorting out the emotional attachment and sexual attachment.

In a relationship, men are (if he is serious) not after just sex. He expects his other half to understand him emotionally.

4. Too much attraction

The problem with trying to attract too much or getting attracted to (out of proportion) will definitely create a strange problem. When we see somebody too much attractive, that force of attraction overrides our basic logics and instincts. This is a problem that will develop in the long run. We are not going to lead a long lasting relationship based on a particular body part or faculty (like ability to sing). It is beyond that.

And what about net based dates? Since there are lots of dating sites coming up, one should be a lil careful with them. There are some basic precautions a girl should take.

The following advice looks convincing:

1. Know your date. Don't go out with someone unless you have exchanged emails a few times and talked on the phone. Make sure you have a good feeling about the person. Trust your inner voice. If the other person is for real, he should understand and be able to wait a bit longer.

2. Meet in a public place for the first few times. Have coffee at a restaurant or go to a movie. Most likely nothing will happen but it is better to be safe than sorry.

3. For a first date, maybe invite the person to a party you are going too where you will have some friends and they will be able to bring some their friends. If it doesn't work out at least you can still have some fun.

4. Always tell someone where you are going and who you are going with, and tell them you will call when you get home. Make sure to bring your cell phone and some extra money, just in case you find out you are not a match and you need to get home.

5. Make sure you have a time limit on your first date. It will allow for an out if you need it. A good example for this is going to lunch.

6. Get a few photo's of the person, especially some with his friends or family. It will give you some hints on what type of person he is plus you will know who to look for when you go to meet him.

7. Don't let the person pick you up at home, meet the person at the location you are going to. You shouldn't give out your address until you have met the person a few times. Always be aware of the personal information you're revealing to a date. Most likely nothing will happen but it is better to be safe than sorry.

8. Never do anything you feel unsure about. As an example if he suggests to sitting at the back of the theater and you don't want to, then don't. If they continue to try, walk out. If the person has already raised a few red flags on the first date, it probably is not going to work out.

9. Refrain from drinking excessively, as it could impair your ability to make good and wise decisions.

10. If you are serious and want to do a criminal background check for your date, many people offer it. This too is not a bad idea.

What kind of a person you should consider if you are looking for a life partner? Your other half should compliment you, at least in some basic personality aspects. Two egoistic people, two very proud people, two very sensitive people, two very insensitive people, two short tempered people, two very emotional people, two very arrogant people etc etc has got less chance to go on and on and on.