Booooooo....I possess !!!

If somebody is possessive about friends, what should he (or she ...I am using 'he' for convenience) do? If you had a bad experience with a friendship, what do you do? Have more friends or run away from further friendships?

Where do I stand? Am I the right person to assess myself?

Well, looking at oneself is always good, which many of us don’t do. If we don’t know what we are, then things will get more complicated.

I am not a typical possessive person who can’t be reasoned, who hesitates to share and very jealous. I did not face any such problem when I was a child or a teenager (it starts at childhood and troubles more at teenage). I also understand that it is not completely up to me to decide whether I am possessive or not.

But in friendship, in my life, some friends became closer to me. Means, I considered them closer to me (not the other way). It doesn’t mean that they did not like me and I was after them. For them, may be it’s just a friendship and for me I liked them a little more.

In such friendships, when a “quarrel like” thing happens or a breakage happens, a person like me gets more hurt (if a friendship is not built on trust, there are more possibilities for such situations).

So based on that experience, my opinion is, it is always better to have more friends. When one fully depends on a particular friend to meet all his needs, he is in trouble. It is always better to discuss many topics with different friends than talking everything with a particular friend (if both are in sync, there is nothing wrong in doing so, but here the issue is a 40-60 or 30-70 or 20-80 friendship).

The advantage of having many friends is that different persons might have different likes (and dislikes) so we can share many things with many friends. If one of them leaves you (due to work, marriage etc) you won’t get completely drained.

So if somebody had some issues with one friend and got really hurt, that doesn’t mean that he/she should avoid making new friends. It doesn’t mean that he should avoid people. And in many cases, friendship just happens.

Just because all humans are nature’s product, are we all same? (not talking at spiritual or theological level). No is my answer. Many of us might have an experience of feeling uncomfortable when we see some people, when some people stand with us in the lift (especially when our aura’s overlap)……people are different and some people are not much emotionally attached with their friends, its their birth nature. In the same way we feel some people as special. Some people fall in love at first sight……. Since friends are also humans (here in this context), this applies in friendships also; for some, some people are not just another human.

When I was hospitalized long ago, mostly it was my friends who stayed with me and not my relatives. I sat as a by-stander for one of my cousins whenever he underwent his eye operation (many times) why because we were more friends than relatives.

There is one writer, Anais Nin, who talked about friends in a beautiful way:

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”