Posts
Yesterday I was sitting in a ‘happinessless’ mood. But I wasn’t sad. May be I missed somebody. That won’t make you sad coz it’s a different feeling. Then came a call from a friend of mine who lives in a different place (abt 1000 km away). We know each other since 24 years and I became a lil happy that he called me up. It was very odd time and hence I thought something might be wrong. But he said he is in a train and it’s yet to move and thought he just call me. Thanks you pal.
Day before yesterday, another friend called me up from one icy and frosty place (he is a soldier) to update me on certain things. We are friends since 32 years.
So it was a mixture of things - whether getting updated or losing the updates and getting missed, but it had something in common – friends
What is special about today? I did not see anything particularly special. Many cells in my body might have died and new one might have born. I became one more day older and I am one more day closer to death.
But today I once again thought about friends.
How long a friendship lasts?
One of my friends, who also is a blogger, observes that friends move together and then part. And she says the maturity is not getting panic when our friend(s) moves away from us. She even compares friendship with plants – it can die…..period of intimacy, withdrawal, distance… she gives many such nice observations.
Why am I telling this? I saw a friendship happening and dying on the same day. The ‘friendship’ lasted only a few minutes, may be….. I don’t know the exact reason why it died but religion can be one of the reasons.
May be for some people even religion matters in a friendship. Most of my friends are followers of this person’s religion. This was the first experience of this kind. I believe friendship is beyond religion. Religion is something personal. And believing that God is partial to a particular religious sect is absolute nonsense.
I used to spend the whole day in a church with a Christian friend of mine during Good Friday service. Nothing happened to me or my/his religion. I had food from the church and it did not create any indigestion but it was more enjoyable since I was having it with my friend.
Christmas is on its way and how I wish I could spend that with a (particular) Christian friend of mine, this year.
I was talking about my day…. Yes, by 4 O’clock in the evening, I was expecting my son back from school. He used to come between 3.55 and 4. It became 4.05…4.10….4.15… then I started getting worried. I called up his friend who used to come in the same bus. Nobody picked up the phone. I called another friend of his and her parent said she reached home in time. Then I called up his school. Nobody picked the phone. Then I called my wife and informed about the situation. She tried her level best to contact whoever she knows like the parent of one of his (son’s) friends, the in-charge of the school bus, school…. And she became a lil panic. I could make out the shiver in her voice (she was in a bus on her way home from office)…….. Son reached home one hour late due to some unexpected problems with school bus schedule
In such situations we are prone to think ‘bad’ possibilities. I did not become panic, but I became too silly for a moment and thought of sending one txt to one of my friends and ask to pray (who lives thousands of miles away and believes in a different religion!!)….
My thought might have been silly, but what I believe is there are friends who stand with us when we are in need of them, irrespective of what religion both believes in.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The Truth !
Hmmm, OK, let it be a story this time
Once there were some truth seekers. They were very regular in attending all the ceremonies and related things that happened in heir place of worship. One day they were coming after attending such an activity. They saw one old lady searching for something outside her house. So, they asked her:
“What are you looking for?”
“I lost my needle” , replied the old lady
They joined in the search and finally found nothing.
“The needle is not here, where did you lose it” , one of them asked.
“I lost it inside my house” said old lady
“Then you should look inside your house and not outside” said another.
“It is dark inside, so I am searching outside”
They all laughed at her loudly.
“Children, you are also doing the same thing, what you are searching is not outside, you too need to look inside” replied the old women.
So?
Once there were some truth seekers. They were very regular in attending all the ceremonies and related things that happened in heir place of worship. One day they were coming after attending such an activity. They saw one old lady searching for something outside her house. So, they asked her:
“What are you looking for?”
“I lost my needle” , replied the old lady
They joined in the search and finally found nothing.
“The needle is not here, where did you lose it” , one of them asked.
“I lost it inside my house” said old lady
“Then you should look inside your house and not outside” said another.
“It is dark inside, so I am searching outside”
They all laughed at her loudly.
“Children, you are also doing the same thing, what you are searching is not outside, you too need to look inside” replied the old women.
So?
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Let Me Praise
You had told me that
The journey won’t be effortless
You had told me that
I should not give up
You had told me that
You will be there with me, always
I thought you left me
I thought you gave up
I got engrossed by the wonderful garden
You said we still have long way to go
I waked here I walked there
And I thought I lost you, you left me
I got fascinated by the mountains
The dew and oceans
I wandered here I wandered there
And I thought I lost you, you left me
When I was about to fall
You held me up
When I was to got washed away
You took me on your shoulder
How can you be this patient?
How can you be this loving?
When I realized it was me
Who walked away
Who left you ; I felt guilty
But you patted me on my back
When I realized
You were always waiting for me
Patiently ; I felt guilty
You smiled at me with glory
Thank you for always being there
Thank you for keeping the promise
Thank you for always waiting for me
Let me praise your name again
Friday, October 19, 2007
Sexy Migraine!
Well, first of all, thanks Michael for the comment. I was in a fix on where to start from… Should I explain the male sex process or not…. Should I explain the common myths in this connection or not….should I explain the major difference between male and female orgasm, ejaculation or not…..etc etc ….. Am still in the fix.
Please understand that most of the men around us wont even accept the fact that there is fatigue in connection with sex, where as it’s a reality we both know being men. Please remember that I used the word ‘too much sex’. And I had a reason.
Most of the information you might get in connection with this subject might be western thoughts. But East had clear idea on this subject than the west and hence we have the Tantric and Taoistic thoughts (out of scope of migraine). So understand that male sex involves lots (loss) of Vital Energy also.( And there are ways to improve the energy levels too).
(West is gifted with science and East with religion and spirituality.. All we need to do is respect each other’s knowledge and thus it complements. Creator sees this place as a single thing and not as many continents or countries. Its all our ego that limits)
My answer, for the time being, is : please understand that neurotransmitters, including Serotonin, are heavily involved in sex.
Most of male are ignorant about the scientific understanding of his genitals and its function. The very best example is people believing both orgasm and ejaculation are just the same, in case of a male. So, if one say that one felt tired after sex, one might even get an answer that its just psychological. Semen is not just a liquid carrying some sperms. It contains so many other things (like citric acid, amino acids, fructose, enzymes, phosphorylcholine, prostaglandin, potassium, zinc, water, calcium, chlorine, magnesium, vitamin B12…… etc etc etc )Through the sperms, part of ‘you’ goes. Don’t forget that it is part of another ‘creation’ process which needs energy.
I remember one incident. When I consulted a doc (for my headache), and when he came to know that I was a bachelor that time, he suggested me to get married. But I asked him, why he suggested that since from a physiological/biological point of view, we don’t need a women to fulfill our sexual urge. Then he answered me that he did not mean the ‘only sex’ part, but I might get a companion and thus I can unload some of my stress by talking to her, discussing with her etc. (well, it can swing the other way also, but lets be optimistic)
So, that is one reason for this belief. Somebody might have suggested a marriage and he might have something in his mind. For many people, when they hear ‘get married’ first thing that comes into their mind is sex. Where as that is not the case.
By telling this, please understand that I did not tell normal sex will cause migraine. I did not try to explain the sex process. I just tell you that neurotransmitters plays a role in both cases and that is one of the the logics behind it.
Easy way to practically experience this logic is having sex/ejaculating when there is migraine and see the effect.
If you have any specific doubt regarding this/want more clarification on what I wrote, please feel free to mail me and I will be happy to give you a personal reply.
Please understand that most of the men around us wont even accept the fact that there is fatigue in connection with sex, where as it’s a reality we both know being men. Please remember that I used the word ‘too much sex’. And I had a reason.
Most of the information you might get in connection with this subject might be western thoughts. But East had clear idea on this subject than the west and hence we have the Tantric and Taoistic thoughts (out of scope of migraine). So understand that male sex involves lots (loss) of Vital Energy also.( And there are ways to improve the energy levels too).
(West is gifted with science and East with religion and spirituality.. All we need to do is respect each other’s knowledge and thus it complements. Creator sees this place as a single thing and not as many continents or countries. Its all our ego that limits)
My answer, for the time being, is : please understand that neurotransmitters, including Serotonin, are heavily involved in sex.
Most of male are ignorant about the scientific understanding of his genitals and its function. The very best example is people believing both orgasm and ejaculation are just the same, in case of a male. So, if one say that one felt tired after sex, one might even get an answer that its just psychological. Semen is not just a liquid carrying some sperms. It contains so many other things (like citric acid, amino acids, fructose, enzymes, phosphorylcholine, prostaglandin, potassium, zinc, water, calcium, chlorine, magnesium, vitamin B12…… etc etc etc )Through the sperms, part of ‘you’ goes. Don’t forget that it is part of another ‘creation’ process which needs energy.
I remember one incident. When I consulted a doc (for my headache), and when he came to know that I was a bachelor that time, he suggested me to get married. But I asked him, why he suggested that since from a physiological/biological point of view, we don’t need a women to fulfill our sexual urge. Then he answered me that he did not mean the ‘only sex’ part, but I might get a companion and thus I can unload some of my stress by talking to her, discussing with her etc. (well, it can swing the other way also, but lets be optimistic)
So, that is one reason for this belief. Somebody might have suggested a marriage and he might have something in his mind. For many people, when they hear ‘get married’ first thing that comes into their mind is sex. Where as that is not the case.
By telling this, please understand that I did not tell normal sex will cause migraine. I did not try to explain the sex process. I just tell you that neurotransmitters plays a role in both cases and that is one of the the logics behind it.
Easy way to practically experience this logic is having sex/ejaculating when there is migraine and see the effect.
If you have any specific doubt regarding this/want more clarification on what I wrote, please feel free to mail me and I will be happy to give you a personal reply.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Migraine
I don’t remember exactly when I developed my first headache; it started during childhood. But I was about 25 when my headache officially got confirmed by a Neurologist as Migraine.
I used to read a lot of science including medical stuffs/headache related and hence I knew that it was migraine. But I never consulted a doc for treating my headache till I visited that Neurologist. After that I did see some. During childhood, nobody cared to take me to a doc when I had headache.
So, what is migraine? It is the most popular headache in this world. The rich, poor, doctors, teachers, students, musicians, athletes, …..all types of people from all over the world are put up with it. About 30 million people in the U.S suffer from it (no idea whether such a statistics available for my country) with women being affected three times more than men.
I read somewhere it is a neurological disease. And don’t agree to that. It is not a disease but a defect. There are lots of theories behind it but no one knows what exactly is the cause and cure, since there are so many causes and so far no cure available.
But it is good that day by day new and new research is happening and we get some results. If the research is carried out by some pharmaceutical company, they come out with some new drug….If it is sponsored by some other body, the result might show the color of that body. And if it is carried out by some genuine body out of humanitarian grounds, well, it might come out with some facts behind it.
My mom was the first migraineur I happened to see. I spent a lot of time in my life trying to observe, study, and understand this headache….not from a medical point of view. I had taken Allopathic and Homoeopathic medicines.
Some doctors gave me false assurance that migraine can be cured and thus I took lots of medicine for it. Under that neurologist, I took so many drugs for about six months continuously and then it went up to one year. And finally I realized that I wasted all that money and time. But during that treatment period, there weren’t much migraine attacks since my doc’s approach was preventing migraine.
What is migraine again?
Migraine is classified under vascular headache. And it has a lot to do with the dilation and constriction of blood vessels in our head. When these vessels enlarges (usually till to a point where it can not stretch any longer) beyond normality, we get migraine.
Migraine can be broadly classified into two, viz,
Migraine with Aura : Sufferers gets a visual indication like blurred/double vision, golden flies etc before an episode.
Migraine without Aura : Most common. No visual indication. I belong to this group
There are some other variations of migraine. But I don’t know anybody suffering from that (I personally know at least 7 people with migraine). Though I have read about Basilar Type Migraine which can even be fatal, never heard about somebody died of migraine.
Migraine is mostly one sided headache, not always. Sometimes it starts from the eyes/temple and spreads back. Migraine gives a pulsating/throbbing headache and nausea. Gets aggravated by physical movement/activity, light (especially florescent) and sound – photophobia and phonophobia. Some times we might feel vertigo. I prefer to crash out in a dark room. Sometimes sitting position gives a better feeling than lying down. May be coz of less flow of blood to head. In general migraine has a family history/hereditary.
What causes all this? Why all people are not facing this problem? Why only some?
It is due to chemical imbalance in our brain/body.
There are some chemicals in our body that help communication between nerves. These chemicals are known as Neurotransmitters. It is said that, the imbalance of neurotransmitters is the cause of migraine.
I read somewhere that in some people, the number of neurotransmitter receptors is more and hence it creates another type of imbalance in such people which is the cause for migraine in them.
The most important neurotransmitters of the Central Nervous System (CNS) in connection with migraine are Serotonin and Norepinephrine. These chemicals have a role in controlling the size of the blood vessels, apart from other functions.
So, migraineurs need more of these chemicals. For that the best option is eating well than popping a pill. That is why at least some doctors think in this direction at least in the U.S. and west. Some even came out with patented nutritional supplements for this purpose. I think it won’t become popular till some pharma giant starts producing it.
If it is these neurotransmitters that cause all these problems, why some get migraine when they eat particular food?
There are lots of things which can cause a chemical imbalance in our body. Number one is food allergy. Then toxic waste within our body, internal inflammation, poor absorption of nutrients, poor metabolism, food/chemicals that can deplete the level of these neurotransmitters etc etc…..
So, a bad/not so healthy stomach is one of the reasons, stress is another big reason which produces stress hormones and there by causing an imbalance. Physical exertion including too much sex (in male), mental exertion and stress, and lots of similar stuffs can cause a chemical imbalance.
Hormonal change during menstrual period is another reason for migraine in females.
We need to provide enough nutrients so that brain can produce enough of these chemicals, by eating properly and wisely. This means avoiding those foods which can trigger a migraine and including those foods which can help in the production of these chemicals.
Main Trigger Factors
Food allergy and sensitivity towards certain food and chemicals
Dehydration
Irregular eating time/ missing a meal
Change in sleep-wake cycle
Too much sleep and lack of sleep
Loud sound
Too much exposure to sun
Inhalation of some chemicals and smells (like paint), which are serotonin depleting and vaso-constrictive.
Bowl problems
Hormone change
Cold or Sinusitis
Change in blood sugar level
Malnutrition (especially magnesium deficiency)
Change in atmospheric pressure / stormy weather condition
Anxiety/stress/physical excretion/too much sex
Prevention
Avoid food that already gave you enough migraine (need to observe – keep a food diary)
Eat balanced food with enough nutrients/ take supplement
Exercise regularly but moderately
Practice yoga/meditation or some breathing technique to control stress (and there by stress hormones). - I have personally benefited by this
It is said that cold water shower/head bath helps (not when there is a headache, but otherwise)
There are lots of drugs available. That is beyond the scope of this blog.
Food to avoid
Have an eye on what you eat. If you noticed that a particular food gave you migraine many times, avoid it. Or better note down the food you suspect and talk to your doc.
Here are some proven trigger foods, in many people.
Red Wine
Monosodium Glutamate or MSG
Cheese
Chocolate
Nuts – especially peanut
Over ripened fruits
Tobacco
Fermented food
Alcoholic drinks (beer included)
Very strong coffee
There is a very loooooooooooooooooong list that can scare and we might think ‘ oh, then what will I eat?’ . No need to panic. Just avoid the ones that already gave migraine, coz, most of the time, it depends on person to person.
Eating a few peanuts never gives me a migraine, for example. And eating lot if it gave migraine many times. Sometimes food had indirect effect. That is, we might get indigestion, the food waste gets fermented and thus releases toxins.
Food to include
An Apple keeps ……. Yes, fresh apple is good for you, including pineapple
A couple of almonds per day
Banana, carrot
Beef, Pork, Chicken, lamb, liver – eat fresh
Watermelon, cucumber
Oats, dates, barley, corn
Milk - if you are not allergic
Pears, sweet potato, spinach
Broccoli and cabbage, Lettuce
Brown rice
Fresh lobster and mackerel
This also is a long list.
There are some food supplement available in many countries like U.S. (not in India) which are targeted for migraineurs. It mainly contains:
Vit-C, Niacin, Vit-B6, Magnesium, Folic Acid, Calcium, Copper and some ‘proprietary blend’
My personal experience
When I was under migraine specific drugs like ergotamine, things became worst after every attack. Migraine became more and more strong. And my present doc straightaway asked me to stop that, who understands migraine well because he too used to get it.
What helped me to control my migraine is regular exercise, drinking adequate water, avoiding some specific trigger foods, and then a wonderful breathing technique called ‘Sudarshan Kriya’.
If I break rules, sometimes I get a migraine. But now, things are under better control.
Conclusion
Migraine is a vascular headache, meaning, a headache caused by the enlargement of blood vessels in our head. This happens because of the imbalance of neurotransmitters like Serotonin and Norepinephrine.
And finally the disclaimer part, I just shared some of my experience, thoughts and what I read about migraine. This is not an authentic/medical article on migraine.
It is always better to consult your doc than treating all by yourself !!!
I used to read a lot of science including medical stuffs/headache related and hence I knew that it was migraine. But I never consulted a doc for treating my headache till I visited that Neurologist. After that I did see some. During childhood, nobody cared to take me to a doc when I had headache.
So, what is migraine? It is the most popular headache in this world. The rich, poor, doctors, teachers, students, musicians, athletes, …..all types of people from all over the world are put up with it. About 30 million people in the U.S suffer from it (no idea whether such a statistics available for my country) with women being affected three times more than men.
I read somewhere it is a neurological disease. And don’t agree to that. It is not a disease but a defect. There are lots of theories behind it but no one knows what exactly is the cause and cure, since there are so many causes and so far no cure available.
But it is good that day by day new and new research is happening and we get some results. If the research is carried out by some pharmaceutical company, they come out with some new drug….If it is sponsored by some other body, the result might show the color of that body. And if it is carried out by some genuine body out of humanitarian grounds, well, it might come out with some facts behind it.
My mom was the first migraineur I happened to see. I spent a lot of time in my life trying to observe, study, and understand this headache….not from a medical point of view. I had taken Allopathic and Homoeopathic medicines.
Some doctors gave me false assurance that migraine can be cured and thus I took lots of medicine for it. Under that neurologist, I took so many drugs for about six months continuously and then it went up to one year. And finally I realized that I wasted all that money and time. But during that treatment period, there weren’t much migraine attacks since my doc’s approach was preventing migraine.
What is migraine again?
Migraine is classified under vascular headache. And it has a lot to do with the dilation and constriction of blood vessels in our head. When these vessels enlarges (usually till to a point where it can not stretch any longer) beyond normality, we get migraine.
Migraine can be broadly classified into two, viz,
Migraine with Aura : Sufferers gets a visual indication like blurred/double vision, golden flies etc before an episode.
Migraine without Aura : Most common. No visual indication. I belong to this group
There are some other variations of migraine. But I don’t know anybody suffering from that (I personally know at least 7 people with migraine). Though I have read about Basilar Type Migraine which can even be fatal, never heard about somebody died of migraine.
Migraine is mostly one sided headache, not always. Sometimes it starts from the eyes/temple and spreads back. Migraine gives a pulsating/throbbing headache and nausea. Gets aggravated by physical movement/activity, light (especially florescent) and sound – photophobia and phonophobia. Some times we might feel vertigo. I prefer to crash out in a dark room. Sometimes sitting position gives a better feeling than lying down. May be coz of less flow of blood to head. In general migraine has a family history/hereditary.
What causes all this? Why all people are not facing this problem? Why only some?
It is due to chemical imbalance in our brain/body.
There are some chemicals in our body that help communication between nerves. These chemicals are known as Neurotransmitters. It is said that, the imbalance of neurotransmitters is the cause of migraine.
I read somewhere that in some people, the number of neurotransmitter receptors is more and hence it creates another type of imbalance in such people which is the cause for migraine in them.
The most important neurotransmitters of the Central Nervous System (CNS) in connection with migraine are Serotonin and Norepinephrine. These chemicals have a role in controlling the size of the blood vessels, apart from other functions.
So, migraineurs need more of these chemicals. For that the best option is eating well than popping a pill. That is why at least some doctors think in this direction at least in the U.S. and west. Some even came out with patented nutritional supplements for this purpose. I think it won’t become popular till some pharma giant starts producing it.
If it is these neurotransmitters that cause all these problems, why some get migraine when they eat particular food?
There are lots of things which can cause a chemical imbalance in our body. Number one is food allergy. Then toxic waste within our body, internal inflammation, poor absorption of nutrients, poor metabolism, food/chemicals that can deplete the level of these neurotransmitters etc etc…..
So, a bad/not so healthy stomach is one of the reasons, stress is another big reason which produces stress hormones and there by causing an imbalance. Physical exertion including too much sex (in male), mental exertion and stress, and lots of similar stuffs can cause a chemical imbalance.
Hormonal change during menstrual period is another reason for migraine in females.
We need to provide enough nutrients so that brain can produce enough of these chemicals, by eating properly and wisely. This means avoiding those foods which can trigger a migraine and including those foods which can help in the production of these chemicals.
Main Trigger Factors
Food allergy and sensitivity towards certain food and chemicals
Dehydration
Irregular eating time/ missing a meal
Change in sleep-wake cycle
Too much sleep and lack of sleep
Loud sound
Too much exposure to sun
Inhalation of some chemicals and smells (like paint), which are serotonin depleting and vaso-constrictive.
Bowl problems
Hormone change
Cold or Sinusitis
Change in blood sugar level
Malnutrition (especially magnesium deficiency)
Change in atmospheric pressure / stormy weather condition
Anxiety/stress/physical excretion/too much sex
Prevention
Avoid food that already gave you enough migraine (need to observe – keep a food diary)
Eat balanced food with enough nutrients/ take supplement
Exercise regularly but moderately
Practice yoga/meditation or some breathing technique to control stress (and there by stress hormones). - I have personally benefited by this
It is said that cold water shower/head bath helps (not when there is a headache, but otherwise)
There are lots of drugs available. That is beyond the scope of this blog.
Food to avoid
Have an eye on what you eat. If you noticed that a particular food gave you migraine many times, avoid it. Or better note down the food you suspect and talk to your doc.
Here are some proven trigger foods, in many people.
Red Wine
Monosodium Glutamate or MSG
Cheese
Chocolate
Nuts – especially peanut
Over ripened fruits
Tobacco
Fermented food
Alcoholic drinks (beer included)
Very strong coffee
There is a very loooooooooooooooooong list that can scare and we might think ‘ oh, then what will I eat?’ . No need to panic. Just avoid the ones that already gave migraine, coz, most of the time, it depends on person to person.
Eating a few peanuts never gives me a migraine, for example. And eating lot if it gave migraine many times. Sometimes food had indirect effect. That is, we might get indigestion, the food waste gets fermented and thus releases toxins.
Food to include
An Apple keeps ……. Yes, fresh apple is good for you, including pineapple
A couple of almonds per day
Banana, carrot
Beef, Pork, Chicken, lamb, liver – eat fresh
Watermelon, cucumber
Oats, dates, barley, corn
Milk - if you are not allergic
Pears, sweet potato, spinach
Broccoli and cabbage, Lettuce
Brown rice
Fresh lobster and mackerel
This also is a long list.
There are some food supplement available in many countries like U.S. (not in India) which are targeted for migraineurs. It mainly contains:
Vit-C, Niacin, Vit-B6, Magnesium, Folic Acid, Calcium, Copper and some ‘proprietary blend’
My personal experience
When I was under migraine specific drugs like ergotamine, things became worst after every attack. Migraine became more and more strong. And my present doc straightaway asked me to stop that, who understands migraine well because he too used to get it.
What helped me to control my migraine is regular exercise, drinking adequate water, avoiding some specific trigger foods, and then a wonderful breathing technique called ‘Sudarshan Kriya’.
If I break rules, sometimes I get a migraine. But now, things are under better control.
Conclusion
Migraine is a vascular headache, meaning, a headache caused by the enlargement of blood vessels in our head. This happens because of the imbalance of neurotransmitters like Serotonin and Norepinephrine.
And finally the disclaimer part, I just shared some of my experience, thoughts and what I read about migraine. This is not an authentic/medical article on migraine.
It is always better to consult your doc than treating all by yourself !!!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
OldMan and the Moon
October -11-2007
Oldman did not sleep well yesterday night. So he was very tired the whole day. He looked at his wish list for that day. He was having a strange wish list. He did not know when the items in the list will change. He read the first two things from the list
Hummer – 2 nos
Air ticket to Greece – 4 to 5
…
…
…
He checked his wallet and bank accounts and sighed. Then he kept his head ahead and smiled. He remembered a Gospel “ Nothing is impossible for God”.
Then he went to gym. He thought he need to keep fit to take delivery of a sports utility vehicle. He wore a tight T-shirt and entered the gym. There were many young guys. They looked at his fit looking body. Old man did not know whether they drooled or not. But he told them:
“Sons, if you want to keep young, be young at heart. For that you need the company of young people. Not just young but young and active people, who can dance sing, jump, climb artificial wall, play badminton, swim, moon gaze….”
“What? Moon gaze? You mean star gaze?” asked one of them
“Yes son, its moon gazing… moon gazing is very good for keeping young. Moon is astrologically connected to our mind and those who are connected to moon are dreamers.. Dreamers can at least dream that they are young even when they are getting older…gotcha?”
“But we already are young…” another one
“Then you grow old and get the company of young ones….pssssst, son, don’t tell this to anybody”
“Thanks” they all replied.
Oldman finished his workout and he felt really good. He went out and walked a little….some thoughts flashed in his mind and he became happy.
He thanked God and then he thanked his friends and he said to himself “This is not the time to think about death……Good Night”
The night became good!!! There came lots of stars in the sky...and the moon too!!!
Oldman did not sleep well yesterday night. So he was very tired the whole day. He looked at his wish list for that day. He was having a strange wish list. He did not know when the items in the list will change. He read the first two things from the list
Hummer – 2 nos
Air ticket to Greece – 4 to 5
…
…
…
He checked his wallet and bank accounts and sighed. Then he kept his head ahead and smiled. He remembered a Gospel “ Nothing is impossible for God”.
Then he went to gym. He thought he need to keep fit to take delivery of a sports utility vehicle. He wore a tight T-shirt and entered the gym. There were many young guys. They looked at his fit looking body. Old man did not know whether they drooled or not. But he told them:
“Sons, if you want to keep young, be young at heart. For that you need the company of young people. Not just young but young and active people, who can dance sing, jump, climb artificial wall, play badminton, swim, moon gaze….”
“What? Moon gaze? You mean star gaze?” asked one of them
“Yes son, its moon gazing… moon gazing is very good for keeping young. Moon is astrologically connected to our mind and those who are connected to moon are dreamers.. Dreamers can at least dream that they are young even when they are getting older…gotcha?”
“But we already are young…” another one
“Then you grow old and get the company of young ones….pssssst, son, don’t tell this to anybody”
“Thanks” they all replied.
Oldman finished his workout and he felt really good. He went out and walked a little….some thoughts flashed in his mind and he became happy.
He thanked God and then he thanked his friends and he said to himself “This is not the time to think about death……Good Night”
The night became good!!! There came lots of stars in the sky...and the moon too!!!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Right Time!
It is said that there is no wrong time for doing a right thing. If one feels like doing a right (right and wrong are relative, I know, I use the word ‘right’ in a generally/socially/rationally accepted way) thing, just do it now. If one thinks over it again and again, who knows what will happen?
There is a good example/story in Mahabharata.
Karna is known for his generosity. One day, while he was taking bath, a man from a priestly family asked for alms. He was holding a vessel in his left hand (since he was a king, it must be expensive) and he gave that to the man.
In India, one is not supposed to do that with his left hand, that too a King. The man got surprised and asked why he did that. Then Karna said :
“By the time I bring it to my right hand, what if I lose the intention of giving?”
The End….
There is a good example/story in Mahabharata.
Karna is known for his generosity. One day, while he was taking bath, a man from a priestly family asked for alms. He was holding a vessel in his left hand (since he was a king, it must be expensive) and he gave that to the man.
In India, one is not supposed to do that with his left hand, that too a King. The man got surprised and asked why he did that. Then Karna said :
“By the time I bring it to my right hand, what if I lose the intention of giving?”
The End….
Monday, October 08, 2007
Dr.Jay's Successful Disappointment !
What do I wanted to become in my life? Yes, my profession…
Forget about childhood days. If there is nobody to guide and we are not exceptional, there might come so many options, as a child…
In this regard, here, in India, we need to have an idea once we clear the 10th grade. And according that one need to choose ones 11th grade then take the entrance exams for higher studies etc.
I wasn’t an outstanding student, though I came within the first 2-3-4 ranks in my class. That just happened because other students weren’t good at studies (There was class strength of 40-50 students). But I was a ‘first class’ student from first grade.
One of my uncles (my dad’s eldest brother) wished to ‘make’ his children (three) a doctor. He had enough money to support the studies. But his daughters did not study well. Since I was the one who successfully came out with first class from the start, he was interested in me. And science was my favorite subject. Sometimes I even scored a 90% in science, not always. This I achieved without exceptional brains or any support from my family, friends or teachers…
Computer science wasn’t a popular thing that time. I haven’t even seen any computer that time. The most common choices for ‘not-bad-at-studies’ students were, Medicine, Engineering, CA/CPA, and Law
So, after tenth, I decided to build my career as a doctor. That uncle said he has got some plans and hence to proceed with my wish. I too was happy. But I did not get the marks I expected for the final exam conducted by that Board. There was this option for going for a re-valuation. But many people discouraged me and told me that I might lose an academic year and hence continue with my studies and study better next time. But I was very much sure that I did not get the marks I deserved. Usually it was me who used to score better marks than my sister, from first grade till 10th grade final exam, but this time, she got better scores!! (one reason could be my bad handwriting)
But I had enough marks to get which course I wanted. So I did not try in many colleges, just put an application in a college where I wanted to study and waited. Yes, finally I was called and thus happily joined for science. In this course, apart from languages, I need to study, Physics, chemistry, Botany and Zoology (which was then called as the II group). But if anyone wants to try engineering as a career, he needs to take the I group where they study Math instead of our biology.
And we, the II group students had the option to study Math as additional subject (study privately and give the exam), since it does not have any labs. So that they can appear for both medicine and engineering entrance exams. Most of my classmates took Math, not me.
I was too much into college politics that time. And till 10th grade, I studied in Malayalam medium, which was my mother tongue and local language. Here from 11th grade, we need to study everything in English. I did not get a shock to see the big text books printed in English coz of two reasons. One, I liked English and two, I have seen these text books three years ago when my sister studied.
Physics was one of my favorite subjects. But I managed to fail in the first test given by my college (hehehe). I bunked classes and attended political meetings. I got involved into college strikes and protests. I did not attend any classes if the professors did not take attendance. And in many cases, I attended counting the attendance so that I will get a minimum. But I hardly attended any English class (English is one of the subjects where most of the failed ones fail since there is drastic difference between the 10th and 11th grade syllabus). But science teachers came out with a rule that if we don’t attend the theory classes, we won’t be allowed in the labs. So, I attended most of the science classes, usually were boring and useless. This happened that way coz, all these lecturers and professors used to give private tuitions at home and they preferred that than teaching at this government college.
But I started working on my physics (physics syllabus also wasn’t continuation of 10th grade but was tough). And I decided to come out with a first class here too.
My family was going through a financial crisis that time. So, there weren’t any money available for Entrance coaching classes (after 12th we need to take an entrance exam to get admission in medical colleges. And most of the students who really wish to pursue their medical studies started attending the entrance exam coaching classes from the start of 11th grade). That wasn’t a big issue since that uncle was there. I was sure that he might help me when I move to 12th grade or when I clear the exam.
Bad luck. That uncle died all of a sudden. (One night he came back , took his shower, and had dinner did his prayers and sat on a chair. And then he did now wake up).
But there goes my medical dream!!!
He had told me his plan. He will help me in the start. Then he will look for a girl from a rich family and then ‘fix’ my marriage with that rich man’s girl (who must be a dump I think…hehehe) in such a way that they will sponsor my studies and once I am of age, I should marry that girl. WOW ! what a brain!. I wasn’t interested in this, but I was sure that he will help me out, someway.
Now I lost all my hope. I did not put any extra effort. I cleared 12th grade and I had enough marks to take the Entrance exam. But that time, our family’s financial condition was such that at the end or the month, there weren’t even a 10 bucks currency in my dad’s wallet. And to add a colorful feather to the hat, I developed some strange eye allergy. Eyes became red and I felt like there is sand inside it. It itched and became watery. Two or three eye docs failed to cure it and it even affected my studies. (Finally, a retired professor doc cured it)
I was very disappointed. De-motivated. Frustrated. I could take the entrance exam next year also, if I wanted. Or even after three years, after finishing my graduation in science (taking either physics, chemistry, botany or zoology as main).
Since I did not see much things happening, I decided to quit science itself. Studying commerce/accounting was the next option to get a job as an accountant etc. And thus for graduation I took commerce as my subject with Accountancy as main. I studied it privately without joining any college. Means, Enroll for the course, just study in whatever way I want, pay the exam fee and take the university exam with other college students.
But I kept on reading science. I took science magazines and books from library. And whenever I visited hospitals (to see somebody), I used to sigh and I got a sort of feeling.
I was not at all interested in these commerce ‘stuffs’. Accountancy looked ‘stupid’ at the start. And the main problem I faced here is, the degree level was the continuation of those commerce and accountancy of the 11th and 12th grade and I never had any idea about what even debit and credit was.
Then I went for tuition for the very basic things and that tutor was hopeless. Since that guy was known to me, I attended the classes as some obligation and I paid fee. (Yes, one need learn to say NO when it is needed). This went for some months and then I stopped his ‘accounting basic’ class, by just stop going. He might have waited for me for many days.
Failed in accountancy in the first year! I wasn’t used to failures. Disappointment again, then regrets for taking this stream for my graduation.
I started giving tuitions for school children to earn my own pocket money. Another reason was, my dad bought me a moped (small scooter like thing) and I put forward a condition that he doesn’t have to give me money for the fuel. (That time, my parents retired from jobs and thus we had enough money (since they were in government service, they had gratuity, provident fund, pension etc).
But the worst thing was politics and social work. It was like a fulltime work. Most of the time I was out doing this and that and I hardly studied anything. Rest of the time I laid up with migraine.
Then during second year, my dad passed away. Thus my responsibility-being the only male member of the family- increased. But his death created some unwanted issues. The death certificate came with wrong spelling. Then it became a mess. Then to get the insurance money, it was another fight. Thus solving those things became my main job during second year. And it took months. But I cleared the exams. During some of the exams, I was suffering from migraine.
During my graduation years, lots of BIG political and social event happened where I was involved. It really took a toll on my studies.
Finally, the final exam came. And I wasn’t prepared at all. I thought I will give the exams next year.
But the problem with me is I like writing exams and writing an exam would give us some practical experience. So I took all the exams and waited for a ‘fail’.
Unfortunately I cleared all the exams, but with indecent marks!!! (Except for accountancy where I got a first class). That was one of the moments in my life- may be the only one- where a success gave me disappointment. So, I thought I will make up all these things when I do my Post Graduation.
Did I? That’s another story…..
If any youngster is reading this, my advice is not to follow my path. Have a dream and work for it. Don’t worry, it will come true…..I will pray for you!!
Forget about childhood days. If there is nobody to guide and we are not exceptional, there might come so many options, as a child…
In this regard, here, in India, we need to have an idea once we clear the 10th grade. And according that one need to choose ones 11th grade then take the entrance exams for higher studies etc.
I wasn’t an outstanding student, though I came within the first 2-3-4 ranks in my class. That just happened because other students weren’t good at studies (There was class strength of 40-50 students). But I was a ‘first class’ student from first grade.
One of my uncles (my dad’s eldest brother) wished to ‘make’ his children (three) a doctor. He had enough money to support the studies. But his daughters did not study well. Since I was the one who successfully came out with first class from the start, he was interested in me. And science was my favorite subject. Sometimes I even scored a 90% in science, not always. This I achieved without exceptional brains or any support from my family, friends or teachers…
Computer science wasn’t a popular thing that time. I haven’t even seen any computer that time. The most common choices for ‘not-bad-at-studies’ students were, Medicine, Engineering, CA/CPA, and Law
So, after tenth, I decided to build my career as a doctor. That uncle said he has got some plans and hence to proceed with my wish. I too was happy. But I did not get the marks I expected for the final exam conducted by that Board. There was this option for going for a re-valuation. But many people discouraged me and told me that I might lose an academic year and hence continue with my studies and study better next time. But I was very much sure that I did not get the marks I deserved. Usually it was me who used to score better marks than my sister, from first grade till 10th grade final exam, but this time, she got better scores!! (one reason could be my bad handwriting)
But I had enough marks to get which course I wanted. So I did not try in many colleges, just put an application in a college where I wanted to study and waited. Yes, finally I was called and thus happily joined for science. In this course, apart from languages, I need to study, Physics, chemistry, Botany and Zoology (which was then called as the II group). But if anyone wants to try engineering as a career, he needs to take the I group where they study Math instead of our biology.
And we, the II group students had the option to study Math as additional subject (study privately and give the exam), since it does not have any labs. So that they can appear for both medicine and engineering entrance exams. Most of my classmates took Math, not me.
I was too much into college politics that time. And till 10th grade, I studied in Malayalam medium, which was my mother tongue and local language. Here from 11th grade, we need to study everything in English. I did not get a shock to see the big text books printed in English coz of two reasons. One, I liked English and two, I have seen these text books three years ago when my sister studied.
Physics was one of my favorite subjects. But I managed to fail in the first test given by my college (hehehe). I bunked classes and attended political meetings. I got involved into college strikes and protests. I did not attend any classes if the professors did not take attendance. And in many cases, I attended counting the attendance so that I will get a minimum. But I hardly attended any English class (English is one of the subjects where most of the failed ones fail since there is drastic difference between the 10th and 11th grade syllabus). But science teachers came out with a rule that if we don’t attend the theory classes, we won’t be allowed in the labs. So, I attended most of the science classes, usually were boring and useless. This happened that way coz, all these lecturers and professors used to give private tuitions at home and they preferred that than teaching at this government college.
But I started working on my physics (physics syllabus also wasn’t continuation of 10th grade but was tough). And I decided to come out with a first class here too.
My family was going through a financial crisis that time. So, there weren’t any money available for Entrance coaching classes (after 12th we need to take an entrance exam to get admission in medical colleges. And most of the students who really wish to pursue their medical studies started attending the entrance exam coaching classes from the start of 11th grade). That wasn’t a big issue since that uncle was there. I was sure that he might help me when I move to 12th grade or when I clear the exam.
Bad luck. That uncle died all of a sudden. (One night he came back , took his shower, and had dinner did his prayers and sat on a chair. And then he did now wake up).
But there goes my medical dream!!!
He had told me his plan. He will help me in the start. Then he will look for a girl from a rich family and then ‘fix’ my marriage with that rich man’s girl (who must be a dump I think…hehehe) in such a way that they will sponsor my studies and once I am of age, I should marry that girl. WOW ! what a brain!. I wasn’t interested in this, but I was sure that he will help me out, someway.
Now I lost all my hope. I did not put any extra effort. I cleared 12th grade and I had enough marks to take the Entrance exam. But that time, our family’s financial condition was such that at the end or the month, there weren’t even a 10 bucks currency in my dad’s wallet. And to add a colorful feather to the hat, I developed some strange eye allergy. Eyes became red and I felt like there is sand inside it. It itched and became watery. Two or three eye docs failed to cure it and it even affected my studies. (Finally, a retired professor doc cured it)
I was very disappointed. De-motivated. Frustrated. I could take the entrance exam next year also, if I wanted. Or even after three years, after finishing my graduation in science (taking either physics, chemistry, botany or zoology as main).
Since I did not see much things happening, I decided to quit science itself. Studying commerce/accounting was the next option to get a job as an accountant etc. And thus for graduation I took commerce as my subject with Accountancy as main. I studied it privately without joining any college. Means, Enroll for the course, just study in whatever way I want, pay the exam fee and take the university exam with other college students.
But I kept on reading science. I took science magazines and books from library. And whenever I visited hospitals (to see somebody), I used to sigh and I got a sort of feeling.
I was not at all interested in these commerce ‘stuffs’. Accountancy looked ‘stupid’ at the start. And the main problem I faced here is, the degree level was the continuation of those commerce and accountancy of the 11th and 12th grade and I never had any idea about what even debit and credit was.
Then I went for tuition for the very basic things and that tutor was hopeless. Since that guy was known to me, I attended the classes as some obligation and I paid fee. (Yes, one need learn to say NO when it is needed). This went for some months and then I stopped his ‘accounting basic’ class, by just stop going. He might have waited for me for many days.
Failed in accountancy in the first year! I wasn’t used to failures. Disappointment again, then regrets for taking this stream for my graduation.
I started giving tuitions for school children to earn my own pocket money. Another reason was, my dad bought me a moped (small scooter like thing) and I put forward a condition that he doesn’t have to give me money for the fuel. (That time, my parents retired from jobs and thus we had enough money (since they were in government service, they had gratuity, provident fund, pension etc).
But the worst thing was politics and social work. It was like a fulltime work. Most of the time I was out doing this and that and I hardly studied anything. Rest of the time I laid up with migraine.
Then during second year, my dad passed away. Thus my responsibility-being the only male member of the family- increased. But his death created some unwanted issues. The death certificate came with wrong spelling. Then it became a mess. Then to get the insurance money, it was another fight. Thus solving those things became my main job during second year. And it took months. But I cleared the exams. During some of the exams, I was suffering from migraine.
During my graduation years, lots of BIG political and social event happened where I was involved. It really took a toll on my studies.
Finally, the final exam came. And I wasn’t prepared at all. I thought I will give the exams next year.
But the problem with me is I like writing exams and writing an exam would give us some practical experience. So I took all the exams and waited for a ‘fail’.
Unfortunately I cleared all the exams, but with indecent marks!!! (Except for accountancy where I got a first class). That was one of the moments in my life- may be the only one- where a success gave me disappointment. So, I thought I will make up all these things when I do my Post Graduation.
Did I? That’s another story…..
If any youngster is reading this, my advice is not to follow my path. Have a dream and work for it. Don’t worry, it will come true…..I will pray for you!!
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Love and Sixth Sense !
Love is a positive emotion. But the strange thing with love is it makes you weak!! Don’t take it literally but think it over….It can cause longing and longing can cause sort of pain. And this pain is something different! Sometimes at least for some people, it’s a pleasant and sweet pain.
Anyway, having a loving environment in your house generates a positive energy in your house. If you visit a house where most of the time it is quarrel what is happening, you get a negative ‘feel’….. a sort of unhappy feeling…some discomfort…... So, if the humans who live there can’t generate the emotion ‘love’ towards each other, or when somebody step into his or her own house and then loses that emotion (thinking, “don’t know what cud be the menu for today’s fight”!!!), what can be done?
There come pets. We can have pets and love them. Thus we can bring the emotion love into our home.
True love creates an emotional attachment. Sometimes one can even feel the loved one… read their mind….. This not only applies to humans but with pets also. I would share an incident.
One of my cousins had a cat as pet. She was a spinster till she died. She really loved that cat and vice versa. I have personally seen some dramatic scenes. One day the cat comes from outside, she spreads her hands and the cat jumps into her hands. Then she asks “where did you go? What happened?” …etc and cat answers her with a “ Meaow”….
One major difference between a cat and a dog is, a cat connects itself to the house and its environment and not to the humans living there. So, if you ask a cat to follow you, outside the house, it hardly follows. I am not talking about cats that live in closed environments like apartments. We used to live in independent houses where we had land and the cat goes outside as and when it wants to go. It was always free.
Cousin had to shift the house. So, when they actually locked up the house the cat was out and they could not find him (was a boy).
My cousin became very sad (she was living with her brother’s family and when brother moved, there weren’t any choice and other family members weren’t ready to wait for the cat to come!!!). The new place was about 4 kilometers (abt 2.5 miles) away from her old place, and they started living there. My cousin missed this cat very badly and it even affected her health and she started losing her weight.
Weeks later, one day she heard a “Meaow’ and there comes her cat……it traveled all this distance to find his master…no need to say how happy she became! And then she recovered even without medicine!!!
(I asked the cat “ Man, how did you do this? Then the cat answered “ Psssssst, its sixth sense..”, with a wink!)
Anyway, having a loving environment in your house generates a positive energy in your house. If you visit a house where most of the time it is quarrel what is happening, you get a negative ‘feel’….. a sort of unhappy feeling…some discomfort…... So, if the humans who live there can’t generate the emotion ‘love’ towards each other, or when somebody step into his or her own house and then loses that emotion (thinking, “don’t know what cud be the menu for today’s fight”!!!), what can be done?
There come pets. We can have pets and love them. Thus we can bring the emotion love into our home.
True love creates an emotional attachment. Sometimes one can even feel the loved one… read their mind….. This not only applies to humans but with pets also. I would share an incident.
One of my cousins had a cat as pet. She was a spinster till she died. She really loved that cat and vice versa. I have personally seen some dramatic scenes. One day the cat comes from outside, she spreads her hands and the cat jumps into her hands. Then she asks “where did you go? What happened?” …etc and cat answers her with a “ Meaow”….
One major difference between a cat and a dog is, a cat connects itself to the house and its environment and not to the humans living there. So, if you ask a cat to follow you, outside the house, it hardly follows. I am not talking about cats that live in closed environments like apartments. We used to live in independent houses where we had land and the cat goes outside as and when it wants to go. It was always free.
Cousin had to shift the house. So, when they actually locked up the house the cat was out and they could not find him (was a boy).
My cousin became very sad (she was living with her brother’s family and when brother moved, there weren’t any choice and other family members weren’t ready to wait for the cat to come!!!). The new place was about 4 kilometers (abt 2.5 miles) away from her old place, and they started living there. My cousin missed this cat very badly and it even affected her health and she started losing her weight.
Weeks later, one day she heard a “Meaow’ and there comes her cat……it traveled all this distance to find his master…no need to say how happy she became! And then she recovered even without medicine!!!
(I asked the cat “ Man, how did you do this? Then the cat answered “ Psssssst, its sixth sense..”, with a wink!)
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
OMG !
The other day I happened to hear a movie dialog :
“ …this is not the right time for a fight, you pray to Gods …..”
So, how many Gods are there in this universe?
Number-wise I don’t know, but there are two types of Gods.
First – Who is the reason for all these creation, omnipotent and omnipresent. Without this force knowing not even a microbe moves. Whose presence is there everywhere and in everything. Humans are also created by this force. Very loving….. Not at all popular.
Second – Man made. They are present in places of worship. They have particular religion which again created by man. They are partial to their followers. Followers can enjoy heaven and others will be cursed and sent to hell. Cause for many fights, riots and terror ………….. VERY POPULAR!
“ …this is not the right time for a fight, you pray to Gods …..”
So, how many Gods are there in this universe?
Number-wise I don’t know, but there are two types of Gods.
First – Who is the reason for all these creation, omnipotent and omnipresent. Without this force knowing not even a microbe moves. Whose presence is there everywhere and in everything. Humans are also created by this force. Very loving….. Not at all popular.
Second – Man made. They are present in places of worship. They have particular religion which again created by man. They are partial to their followers. Followers can enjoy heaven and others will be cursed and sent to hell. Cause for many fights, riots and terror ………….. VERY POPULAR!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Booooooo....I possess !!!
If somebody is possessive about friends, what should he (or she ...I am using 'he' for convenience) do? If you had a bad experience with a friendship, what do you do? Have more friends or run away from further friendships?
Where do I stand? Am I the right person to assess myself?
Well, looking at oneself is always good, which many of us don’t do. If we don’t know what we are, then things will get more complicated.
I am not a typical possessive person who can’t be reasoned, who hesitates to share and very jealous. I did not face any such problem when I was a child or a teenager (it starts at childhood and troubles more at teenage). I also understand that it is not completely up to me to decide whether I am possessive or not.
But in friendship, in my life, some friends became closer to me. Means, I considered them closer to me (not the other way). It doesn’t mean that they did not like me and I was after them. For them, may be it’s just a friendship and for me I liked them a little more.
In such friendships, when a “quarrel like” thing happens or a breakage happens, a person like me gets more hurt (if a friendship is not built on trust, there are more possibilities for such situations).
So based on that experience, my opinion is, it is always better to have more friends. When one fully depends on a particular friend to meet all his needs, he is in trouble. It is always better to discuss many topics with different friends than talking everything with a particular friend (if both are in sync, there is nothing wrong in doing so, but here the issue is a 40-60 or 30-70 or 20-80 friendship).
The advantage of having many friends is that different persons might have different likes (and dislikes) so we can share many things with many friends. If one of them leaves you (due to work, marriage etc) you won’t get completely drained.
So if somebody had some issues with one friend and got really hurt, that doesn’t mean that he/she should avoid making new friends. It doesn’t mean that he should avoid people. And in many cases, friendship just happens.
Just because all humans are nature’s product, are we all same? (not talking at spiritual or theological level). No is my answer. Many of us might have an experience of feeling uncomfortable when we see some people, when some people stand with us in the lift (especially when our aura’s overlap)……people are different and some people are not much emotionally attached with their friends, its their birth nature. In the same way we feel some people as special. Some people fall in love at first sight……. Since friends are also humans (here in this context), this applies in friendships also; for some, some people are not just another human.
When I was hospitalized long ago, mostly it was my friends who stayed with me and not my relatives. I sat as a by-stander for one of my cousins whenever he underwent his eye operation (many times) why because we were more friends than relatives.
There is one writer, Anais Nin, who talked about friends in a beautiful way:
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
Where do I stand? Am I the right person to assess myself?
Well, looking at oneself is always good, which many of us don’t do. If we don’t know what we are, then things will get more complicated.
I am not a typical possessive person who can’t be reasoned, who hesitates to share and very jealous. I did not face any such problem when I was a child or a teenager (it starts at childhood and troubles more at teenage). I also understand that it is not completely up to me to decide whether I am possessive or not.
But in friendship, in my life, some friends became closer to me. Means, I considered them closer to me (not the other way). It doesn’t mean that they did not like me and I was after them. For them, may be it’s just a friendship and for me I liked them a little more.
In such friendships, when a “quarrel like” thing happens or a breakage happens, a person like me gets more hurt (if a friendship is not built on trust, there are more possibilities for such situations).
So based on that experience, my opinion is, it is always better to have more friends. When one fully depends on a particular friend to meet all his needs, he is in trouble. It is always better to discuss many topics with different friends than talking everything with a particular friend (if both are in sync, there is nothing wrong in doing so, but here the issue is a 40-60 or 30-70 or 20-80 friendship).
The advantage of having many friends is that different persons might have different likes (and dislikes) so we can share many things with many friends. If one of them leaves you (due to work, marriage etc) you won’t get completely drained.
So if somebody had some issues with one friend and got really hurt, that doesn’t mean that he/she should avoid making new friends. It doesn’t mean that he should avoid people. And in many cases, friendship just happens.
Just because all humans are nature’s product, are we all same? (not talking at spiritual or theological level). No is my answer. Many of us might have an experience of feeling uncomfortable when we see some people, when some people stand with us in the lift (especially when our aura’s overlap)……people are different and some people are not much emotionally attached with their friends, its their birth nature. In the same way we feel some people as special. Some people fall in love at first sight……. Since friends are also humans (here in this context), this applies in friendships also; for some, some people are not just another human.
When I was hospitalized long ago, mostly it was my friends who stayed with me and not my relatives. I sat as a by-stander for one of my cousins whenever he underwent his eye operation (many times) why because we were more friends than relatives.
There is one writer, Anais Nin, who talked about friends in a beautiful way:
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
Monday, October 01, 2007
Another Pain
Today was another day which reminded me that life is unpredictable.
Yesterday I thought I will start from where I left. But today I was occupied with some unexpected things. But I am not disappointed. It was a good day today, though it did not went as I planned. It was a pleasant day. A day becomes pleasant when somebody close to you sits with you and ask ‘ ok what you want me to tell’….and may be that’s why our grannies used to ask the kids ‘ ok, which story you want to hear today?’... …..but I haven’t even seen my grannies.
Months ago, one of my friends came to me with a ‘relationship’ issue and asked some advice. She wasn’t looking for someone to listen to her. She asked for some suggestion and it looked like she was under emotional pain which only heart can understand. Today I saw her opening her heart. And it was like writing with her blood that coming from the heart! Today she proved that she doesn’t need my advice.
She said so many things which I wanted to tell. So if I say similar things, I personally won’t feel comfortable.
Yesterday I thought I will start from where I left. But today I was occupied with some unexpected things. But I am not disappointed. It was a good day today, though it did not went as I planned. It was a pleasant day. A day becomes pleasant when somebody close to you sits with you and ask ‘ ok what you want me to tell’….and may be that’s why our grannies used to ask the kids ‘ ok, which story you want to hear today?’... …..but
Months ago, one of my friends came to me with a ‘relationship’ issue and asked some advice. She wasn’t looking for someone to listen to her. She asked for some suggestion and it looked like she was under emotional pain which only heart can understand. Today I saw her opening her heart. And it was like writing with her blood that coming from the heart! Today she proved that she doesn’t need my advice.
She said so many things which I wanted to tell. So if I say similar things, I personally won’t feel comfortable.
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