Misunderstanding

This happened sometime ago, when I visited a chat room. I visited that chat room to test some ICQ commands, though IRC chats are not considered as much safer. But I accidently saw a user with a nick ‘sad girl’. So, I just said hi and asked why she is sad. I don’t remember the exact talk between us, but it was something like this (and that person’s English was really bad, no offence meant, it happens with people from non-English countries):

“there is a misunderstanding between me and my best friend”

“I see, is it a girl or a boy?”

“boy”

I did not ask, ‘ if he cant understand you, why are you calling him your best friend?’

“what exactly happened?”

“difficult to explain, you wont understand…..but I am sad”

I might have sighed and asked myself ‘ what is that which I can not understand in this context?. May be it wasn’t easy for her to explain it properly. But if she is not willing to tell it, what is the point in she staying there and telling the public that she is sad? May be she might tell it to a person from her country. And with the very same logic, she don’t want to tell that to me. So, I just wanted to check whether she is interested in any talk with me at all. If she is not, I don’t have to waste time and I can quit the room and proceed with other activities.

“ok, I understand that you are sad. Lets talk something else’

“about what?”

“you tell anything you want to, I will just listen”

“you ever had misunderstanding in your life?”

“yes, many times”

“what was that”

I see. So, it really is a woman at the other end. She don’t want to talk about anything but want to know what kind or misunderstanding I had in my life.

I told her two incidents that happened in my life which has the element – misunderstanding. In both case, I really felt very bad and sad and hurt and what not? One is a dog story.

This happened about 11 years ago. I was living in a rented house with my mom. It was a house with partition. That is, in one partition , we lived and in the other, there lived the house owner. It was built on a big land. There were lots of plants, trees, a well...... And yes, the house owner had a dog. A ferocious unfriendly dog. They kept him tied during (most of the) day time and let him wander around the area and guard at night. It was very difficult even for me to enter my house if the dog is untied. So, I tried to befriend with him and more than that, I love dogs.

One day, may be it was a Sunday, coz, they freed the dog during day time and it came running inside our house. I came to the hall hearing sort of scream from my mother and I saw the dog in the hall. I asked my mom to go inside slowly and I stayed there, looking at him. The dog came to me, sniffed and then started walking here and there. I gave him a biscuit and it accepted it. But did he became friendly? Nope..

Though he did a sniff job, he barked and barked at me whenever I opened the gate. One fine morning, I found that the dog teared the side bag of my bike and he even damaged the seat cover. The house owner said sorry and said his dog is very naughty. I did not tell anything, though I did not like what has happened.

During the same week, house owner went out of town. He said he will be back only after two days and a relative of his will take care of the dog. Next day morning, I heard kind of strange sound from the place where the dog was tied. When I looked, it was a horrible scene.

The dog got stuck in the chain. They weren’t using a leather collar for the dog but they used an iron chain directly around his heck. He was staying there in a hung position, standing in his hind legs, making some kind of sound. I ran to him, I did not bother whether it will bite me or not, I wanted to save his life at any cost. But I couldn’t. He died. My brother-in-law’s brother came that time and he saw the scene, then another person, who used to come there to pluck coconut also saw the scene. I told them that they house owner will come only next day and hence, my relative helped me and we buried the dog.

But house owner came a day early which was a surprise, cutting his trip. He was looking for the dog and I told him what happened. but he did not believe that. Yes, he did not believe me at all. He might have thought that I killed the dog since he damaged my bike. I did not sleep that night. I immediately wrote a letter to my would be wife, who was living in a different city, since I wanted to tell somebody that I did not do anything wrong. I actually wanted to save the dog and not to kill. The dog looked at me before he died and he might have thought this ‘ at the end, my master did not come to me, but my enemy came to help’

This incident created a little gap between me and the house owner. He did not smile at me for days or even weeks. May be he inquired about this with the coconut man and somewhat got convinced. I still don’t know. But anyway, he came to attend my marriage.

Even today, I remember that incident very clearly and it still gives some unpleasant feelings. At least that dog and then God knows I was his friend and not foe.

The second incident is not too old. This happened may be an year ago or so. Here the characters are human. Me and a friend who I considered as my best friend that time. When it happens between friends, the wound stays longer and the pain, hurt, insult and such things are deeper. This incident had a software application background, the yahoo messenger and its photo share feature. My friend was showing some pictures which she asked me specifically to not to save and she suspected that I did save, just coz of a bug in yahoo.

When we use yahoo photo share, yahoo creates a temporary file folder to keep the picz. If we try to stop the streaming process in the middle, it will say the other person is saving a bigger version of the picture, where as it is yahoo which tries to compleate the streaming process. This is very funny, yahoo telling "its not me but it is that person...". But it wasn’t funny in my life. I felt like humiliated and hurt. This time also I turned to the girl to whom I wrote a letter years ago, but there was a change, she was there with me, as my wife. She consoled me, this time too.

Sometimes it is like this, this life. We have to stand at the receiving end without any reason. And it becomes very difficult to clear the misunderstanding, sometimes it even is impossible. We cant prove our innocence. May be this is where ‘its my fate’ theory fits. Or the deepest aspects of the karma theory fits.

That girl did not show much interest in the dog story. May be she is not a pet lover, I did not ask. Or may be she was in a different mood. But she was interested in the second incident. She even wanted to know the kind of friendship I was having with my friend. Anyway, I felt that, that girl was bit relaxed after talking to me and at the end, she even typed a smiley….

It’s just a misunderstanding, but it is enough to make a big damage in any relationship. In some cases, it gets resolved and in some cases, it leaves a permanent mark. It depends on the kind of people involved and the situation. So, it is better or wise we understand this reality and move on...