Getting Well Soon

What do we do when we fall ill? I don’t know how exactly all others spent their illish days. I have observed my dad, mom, sister, my brother in law(s), my father/mother in law, my wife, my son , a couple of (old) friends……… and of course, myself too. In general we like to be at peace and not physically disturbed. Those are the days we like to be served than to serve.

Though I said I have observed many others, I don’t know how their mind was working that time. We can’t always read it. Some mental activities come as expressions and emotions and no idea about the rest. Yes, thinking is one of the major thing I do when I fall ill..

How good is this thinking process when we are ill? From my personal experience, if those thoughts are mostly negative, its really bad during these period. Many a times I have observed, if I am angry, lots of negative thoughts comes. Mind goes to past and fetches unwanted and ‘to be forgetted’ things. If I entertain that thoughts, they bring more and more.

If the present illish situation is not comfortable, mind goes back and fetches something to tell how it was when my mother was with me. This may not be the situation with others but in my case, nobody ever took care of me like my mom (though we ideologically differ in many things and even used to fight over many things). One main reason behind this was that there wasn’t anybody else to take care of me.

This time also, many such thoughts went through my mind. There was one incident. That happened when I underwent an appendicitis surgery. Somebody came to visit me without knowing the exact room number. He went to the duty room and enquired and found me too. But later on, I came to know from him that when he asked my name to a nurse, for a moment she started thinking and then another nurse told her:

“It is that room, where the mother and son are occupied”

Yes, that time mom was the only person with me (dad was no more). Sister had two kids that time and she was busy taking care of them. Some friends used to visit me in the evening, after their work. Thus most of the time, it was just me and mom. And yes, she was the only by-stander from day one to day last.

Whenever I fell ill, I never had to get up in the middle and make a black tea or coffee or a cup of hot water. She used to wake up and do that for me. Before going to bed she used to tell

“ call me if you need any help”.

That time, I never thought that is a luxury. I just thought that is how life is. Yes, I still think that is how every mom in this world should be (yes, there are exemptions, I know). What about wives of the world? How every one of them should be? SKIP...

I thought of my friends during this ill period. Though some of them knew that I fell ill, they did not even sent me a text….a mail asking ‘how are you’ or wishing a ‘get well soon’… at the end, I sighed and asked myself

“Are they my friends for real?”

“They might be busy” said somebody within me

My logical mind wasn’t ready to accept that being busy theory.

“If I were online daily, they had some time to spare and say something..and I even got a mail from a friend who really is busy..”

“Don’t be prejudiced, they might have some reasons”

“How long will it take to type – how are you?”

“Yes, you are right, but don’t take such things seriously.”

Thoughts thoughts and thoughts….. I am fed up of them, sometimes…

But from reading my own emotions during the illness period, I think it’s a nice feeling to get a hi or ‘get well soon’ or something like that from our friends or acquaintances. I know this is not the case with everybody. There are people who don’t want others to know that they fell ill and thus they might not like somebody asking ‘what happened’ or wishing a ‘get well soon’.

If we try to avoid some thoughts, it will come back. We can either observe them and let it go or think about something else or do something else. So I decided to go back to my biology lessons and brush up my knowledge about knee joints. This I did whenever I felt better. I read a lot and lot about my particular knee issue – the LCL tear. I even went through more than 20 websites in search of more info or to find out what others did when they had a ligament sprain. Most of the sites ‘spit out’ the same thing. May be they copied it from some single source or somehow things got circulated. Many of them wrote:

“LCL tear is not very common”

Very funny. So what they mean to say is I developed some unusual ligament issue? But I was not into any unusual sport. Before the tear I put my head into tennis, squash and yes badminton. If they believe that these sports cant give an LCL tear, then they better change their old theory. Because I already met two orthopedic doc in this connection and when I said it happened while playing badminton, it wasn’t a surprise for them. My physiotherapy doc also did not show any surprise element. A friend of mine said her husband had a similar issue and he plays basket ball. That means it can happen, its not rare.

But I understood that the approach of (most of) the western docs in this aspect is more serious and focused. They go for an MRI in most of the cases to make sure and then rule out other possibilities. And the therapies used also differ. Then somebody within me said this:

“No wonder the sports people go abroad for such injuries. If we get proper treatment, we can recover very fast….but India is picking up as a place for medical tourism , so these facilities should be available in bigger hospitals, though it is expensive…who knows? Should I try one of such place? ….”

Sigh ! Sigh ! sigh !

I went through many different emotions which included ‘helplessness’. I don’t want to recollect them. What if I get a feeling of ‘going through’ those feelings again? It can happen. Its not wise me disturbing my peace of mind at my own cost.

So, it’s a good thing to remember the subject line of a mail sent by one of my friends, who also fell ill:

“lets get well soon..”